Reaching You
by Rue and SneakWriter
Summary: Rewrite. Loki is taken by the Chitauri and sent back an irreparable wreck whose fate Thor must decide. Loki!whumpage. Post-Avengers.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Here's version 0.2 of Reaching You. I borrowed quite a lot of wordings etc from the original, but I'll try to make it different enough. Fingers crossed it'll turn out alright. Please feel free to R&R. Thank you to my squishy best friend for posting.**

They went from daylight under a blue Midgardian sky to the darkness of an unknown world; the rocky ground they slammed into was not that of Asgard. The Tesseract was still in their grasp, Loki's unwilling hand gripping it tight as if to hurt it, Odinson holding steadily onto his end, but the impact of landing sent Loki to one knee and the Cube clattering away. Thor found his footing on the uneven terrain and quickly placed a hand on Loki's upper arm, simultaneously restricting and steadying him.

'Brother, are you injured?'

Loki, still shackled and muzzled, didn't deign to shake his head. Above the gag, his eyes revealed nothing. After a moment's hesitation, Thor removed the muzzle. With momentarily downcast eyes, Loki worked his jaw slightly from side to side to ease the stiffness and licked his sore lips.

'Have you seen this world before?'

'Oh yes.'

It seemed then that the shadows moved of their own accord; shapes suddenly formed, and green energy began to flash. Mjölnir was ready in Thor's hand; lightning blazed and Chitauri warriors fell. With his free hand he shoved Loki out of the way.

The God of Mischief made his move; grabbing the energy rifle from the closest Chitauri, the chains rattling between his wrists, Loki fired it straight into Thor's back; and in the opening it gave him, plunged the bayonet deep into Odinson's torso with a vicious snarl. Thor grunted; the hammer slipped from his fingers to thud resoundingly into the dirt. Loki knocked him over backwards with a furious kick and watched as the Chitauri drones swarmed over him. Thor made a futile attempt to summon Mjölnir, but the hammer didn't move, suddenly too heavy to lift.

Momentarily spent from the exertion, Loki sank down onto one knee.

'King,' the masked Other greeted Loki, extending a polydactyl hand. Loki's skin crawled, but he accepted the offered hand regardless, rising to his feet before swiftly letting go. Behind him, he heard rifle-fire, thuds and grunts as the Chitauri struggled to beat a disarmed Thor into submission. 'They have defeated you. Humiliated you.'

'The plan went awry,' Loki spat. 'I was not counting on your Chitauri legions being so _weak_ as to be unable to kill five mortals.'

'You have been wronged, prince. We must begin planning your restoration as Earth's ruler. But first, take revenge upon those who have wronged you.'

The shackles were broken and the servant of Thanos passed Loki a blade. Freed, Loki took it with a smile and turned. By now they had an enraged Thor stretched out by the wrists between them, his head still high and angry.

'I thought they had come for you,' Thor said with – what? Bitterness? Accusation? Relief?

'You'd honestly thought you'd beaten me, hadn't you,' Loki replied as the Other withdrew. 'How strange you should find yourself here. How quickly the tables can be turned. Don't you agree?'

There was pain in Thor's look – _How did we come to this?_ – but Loki's pale face was still cut and bruised from his defeat at Banner's hands; looking up at him, Thor found it difficult to summon true anger.

'Loki,' he said gently, willing his brother to heed his sincerity, 'You needn't do as they tell you.'

'You leave me no choice – you came between me and my rightful throne. All my life, in fact, you stood between me and what was mine. Oh, we were raised together, we played together, we fought together, but forever was I your inferior. The lesser prince, the _forgotten_ son. Worthlessness and jealousy – those were the staples of my life until now. But no more.'

'There is always a choice. If they hold you under duress, I give you my word, I will help you escape. I will save you from them.'

'You think I'm fool enough to let you loose? Weak-minded as you are, you are excellent at getting in my way.'

'I have given you so many chances and you would throw them away so easily? It's not too late yet. Stop now – before you find yourself beyond redemption.'

'Redemption?' Barely contained hatred was coursing through Loki, but he couldn't help laughing. 'You truly believe in redemption – good, evil? There are no sides, Odinson. Life is governed by _power_ and power alone. And right now, I am the one with the power over you. Can I be _redeemed_ of superiority? Now, _kneel_.'

With a powerful diagonal blow, he knocked Thor to the ground. Odinson grunted in pain.

'You had your chance to know me as a brother, but in your arrogance, blindness and stupidity you treated me instead as a second shadow.'

Thor's head snapped back as Loki delivered a blow to his face, then dropped forwards again. When his vision righted itself, the knife's edge was hovering above him as though choosing where to strike.

'And the world you so love and have sworn to protect? You have failed in its defence. You have allowed it to be damaged, its people to be harmed, its freedom to be endangered. How does dejection taste, Odinson? Bitter, is it not?'

'This is madness. Have you forgotten your home?'

Loki hissed at him through gritted teeth.

'_I never_ – ' stabbing the blade into Odinson's side ' – _ever_ – ' dragging it in a slow, deliberate line ' – _loved you_. You were an easily manipulated impediment, nothing more.'

A thin line of blood dribbled from the corner of the God of Thunder's lips; he coughed and shut his mouth in a firm, reproving line, refusing to cry out.

'Do you love her?' he snapped venomously in Thor's ear, 'Tell me – do you love her so much you would sacrifice yourself to protect her world? Know this: _I will find her_. I will bring her here and, in front of you, I will take her apart, little by little, until nothing is left. Then, _maybe_, if I'm in a kind mood, I'll let you die.'

He pulled back. Odinson was looking up at him as if he were a stranger. _Finally he understands_, Loki thought. He twisted the dagger in his once-brother's side; but the words were even more painful still as he hissed in Thor's ear:

'Before I end your life, I will make you watch as I _obliterate_ the world you so adore. Think on that a while, _Odinson_. I'll be back in a moment.'

With that, he jerked the blade free, turned and left without a backwards glance. His benefactor was waiting for him; turning the knife over, Loki offered it back to the Other.

'For your actions, you will be rewarded.' But then the metal flashed out; Loki jerked as he felt wet blood and hot pain blossom across his face. Clutching at the wound he reeled back, hearing through pounding ears the words:

'As will you. You have sealed your own fate, lost prince.'

Loki could feel a tingling irritation spreading through his skull, an unsteadiness following in its wake; as his extremities began to shake uncontrollably, he realised dimly that the blade had all along been dipped in some foul toxin. It _hurt_. A small part of him, somewhere at the back of his brain, envied how Thor had borne it so well.

'We will inform the Asgardian that you have decided to let him live on and release him back to Earth. There will be nobody to save you, for who will? He will not come for you now.'


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank-yous to everyone who's read, Fav'd and Followed, and to reviewers Guest, darkshadowarchfiend, T.N., THORKISUPPORT, Guest, Evil Concubine, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer (!) and Fate Vione (sadly I'm not very good at description. I envy people who can write good similes and things, as my writing tends to be kind of simplistic).**

A blinding blue light carried Thor and Mjölnir back to Manhattan. Not since he had been stripped of his immortality had he been so incapacitated – the toxin pumping through his blood left him stupefied, barely aware if he was upright or prone. The only semi-coherent thought he could construct was that he had to find his friends and tell them of Loki's escape…the threat of Loki's return…

Perhaps time passed in a blur of meaningless images and snatches of sound, because suddenly Banner was looking him in the eye, speaking. Thor couldn't understand the words, and was dimly aware of his armour being opened up to expose his injuries. With difficulty he moved his mouth, his voice wavering between too loud and barely audible to his own ears as he forced out the word:

'_Poison_.'

Something was stabbed into the big vein in the crook of his elbow, and an overwhelming pain flooded him, as if something alive and clawing were being ripped out of him but was resisting every inch of the way. Thor's body arched in an agonised curve, black taking over as his eyes rolled back. Banner's face withdrew from his frayed line of sight and was replaced by Captain Rogers', who held him down firmly by the shoulders. Further convulsions let him know that his legs were being pinned down too.

He felt a little better afterwards.

They tried to speak to him, his friends. They looked nervous, afraid even, as if they had thought him indestructible. He wasn't sure if he responded to them or not. In olden days it would've shamed him to have friends see him in such a state, but now he was merely glad in his knowledge of their support.

When full consciousness eventually returned, he found himself alone in the peace and quiet of Stark Tower's medical bay, Mjölnir close by as if they hadn't dared separate him from it. His body and mind both felt sluggish and drained, as if he had only just begun to recover from a long and debilitating illness. He was disorientated to find it was night-time. Wincing, Thor sat up, but then thought better of it and eased himself back down. What point was there in preemptive action? The God of Mischief would show his hand soon enough, and until then there was no telling what he had in store.

Lucidity only served to worsen his state of mind rather than allieve it. A cold resignation had settled on Odinson: the acceptance that the Loki he had known and loved – the timid little brother who was content to be led along, the playful mischief-maker who had got him out of trouble as often as getting him into it – was long dead and gone, replaced by a madman who wore his face, beyond all reason, help or love.

There was no point clinging onto empty hope and childhood recollections; all he could do now was grieve for the brother whose goodness had been stripped away by delusions and insecurities, and despise the monster that that brother had now become. The knowledge wrung his heart close to breaking, but there was no other way. He had accepted that now. _I will put an end to this madness. I will bring Loki to justice. And if I must destroy him, I will._

'I'm sorry, brother,' he said aloud to the dark ceiling, as if the green-eyed child of a thousand years ago would hear him and forgive his failure, 'I'm sorry I let you come to this. I'll lay you to rest.'

Thor's dull gaze wandered aimlessly around the unlit room, and settled on an indistinct shape in the corner – another piece of strange Midgardian furniture, perhaps. It took him a minute to realise what he was staring at: a huddled figure. Mjölnir flew immediately to his hand as he started up in bed.

'Who are you?' he demanded loudly. The shadow straightened up slowly, almost painfully. It was _Loki_ – No – the figure flickered erratically in and out of existence like a bad Midgardian television, a shimmer of golden light passing over it each time, illuminating in the darkness. The only thing that stayed the God of Thunder's hand was the knowledge that it would be pointless to attack an intangible illusion. 'Loki,' Thor spat, 'Why do you come here?'

The projection of Loki made no move, hostile or otherwise. Its hands hung empty by its sides and his head was lowered. From what he could see of it, its face held none of its usual smirk or even its all-too-familiar wide-eyed innocence. In the flashes of gold, what Thor had taken to be black leathers seemed more to be bloodied cloth.

'Thor.' Loki's reply was so quiet it was almost inaudible – punctuated by shallow, ragged breathing, and muffled somehow, as if his mouth were sore and bleeding. 'I've come to…to…I've come…' But either he didn't know what he had come to do, or he lacked the energy to finish the sentence. By now, Thor had risen from the bed. He still felt slightly unsteady on his feet, but anger and newfound hatred lent him strength. He moved closer, but Loki drew away as if in fear and said, 'Don't touch it! If you touch it, it'll disappear…I haven't the energy left to make another…'

Thor lowered Mjölnir and turned his back.

'I know not what game you're attempting to play, but I have no patience for it.'

' – They…turned on me…' The figure wavered again; for a moment Thor thought it was gone altogether, before it reappeared. He had no idea how much strength of magic it must've taken to project this image across worlds. '…The Chitauri…'

'Save your breath, Loki. I can no longer stomach the sound nor sight of you. Leave me.'

'Wait – You asked me if I had forgotten our childhood. I haven't,' the replica said desperately, 'I loved you then…Even when I envied and resented you, I loved you. You were always there for me. I remember that…Brother – '

'_Did you not hear me_?' Thor raised his voice. '_Leave_!'

He waited for more, but silence followed the word and he turned. Loki was gone. Thor stood there, almost expecting some other event or trickery to follow suit, but none did.

Loki surfaced from his stupor, dim eyes fluttering; he closed them again, willing himself back to sleep. Just a little longer. A little longer before – But then the pain was back, breaking white-hot through the thin veil of magic he had managed to briefly wrap his mind in. Unable to remain disconnected, he rocked back into his body, choking on his own scream as tranquility dissipated.

_Stop. Make it stop. _Alien hands rained blows upon him and lovingly traced fiery lines of white-hot agony up, down and across his flesh until it seemed every inch of him was in flames, and surely he must die soon..._Stop_...Clenching his teeth in a struggle to stifle his cries, Loki squeezed his eyes tightly shut, willing himself to die, but still despite himself he clung stubbornly onto life.

The pain had not ceased since it had begun. Sometimes it ebbed a little, enough to keep him conscious, but it was always there, unrelenting and constant, leaving no room for everything else. It wouldn't stop. It would never stop, so that he could barely breathe for crying out, let alone form a word of threat or plea; his throat torn, his racked muscles exhausted as he convulsed uncontrollably against metal bonds which refused to burst no matter how much he fought. _Brother, anybody, help me._


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Here's a short chapter where nothing happens. Anyway, huge thank yous to reviewers Kakirovich, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, EvilConcubine, My-chan, Heavenmetal, anonYmous, THORKISUPPORT, Guest and CriesofCapricorn, and to those who Fav and Follow. Also thank you to my best friend for betaing and being squishy. ~ SneakWriter**

'Care to explain this?' Man of Iron demanded. Thor did not raise his eyes to the blue hologram which hung in midair between them – a clip taken from the medical bay's security feed. In it, he was confronting the crouched, flickery figure of Loki, which after a while disappeared. There was no sound. 'Loki somehow managed to bypass my security to pay you a midnight visit, only to leave about two seconds later without so much as trashing my tower? And you didn't even _tell_ anyone? Care to enlighten me?'

Behind Stark, Agent Romanoff stood with her arms crossed, while the remaining three Avengers were grouped with varying looks of concern.

'There was no alert because he was never here,' Thor replied. He was sitting up in bed, his legs over the side, the sweat-damp sheets clenched in his fists as he sought to maintain his composure. He still felt disturbingly frail, but the effects of the poison were well on the road to wearing off. 'What you see in that image is merely one of his illusions. He is good at those...They can cause no real harm...'

'What did he want?' asked Romanoff.

'We...spoke. He – ' Thor hesitated. For some reason, part of him didn't wish to shame his brother by revealing how Loki had begged. But it was not in Thor's nature to hide the truth. 'He claimed the surviving Chitauri have turned against him. He asked for my help. I refused. I know not what trickery he has in mind, but I've learned not to act on _sentiment_...'

'Wait, those things can teleport across _space_?'

'Only with immense magical power – such as only my brother possesses. It takes great effort...' the God of Thunder trailed off. Words were Loki's greatest weapon, and magic was something he needed to conserve and use sparingly. Would he have exerted so much effort on a pointless trick? Or was it a double bluff?

'So, Loki asked for your help – '

'And I refused,' Thor confirmed.

'Did he arrange a rendezvous? Did he try to lure you out?'

'No. The clone disappeared, I think, before he was finished. Perhaps he did not know his own limits, and could not sustain it for very long.'

'Or maybe he was interrupted,' Captain America suggested.

'So, let's see – ' Stark tossed the hologram aside with an irritable gesture and began counting on his fingers. 'Loki's on the loose, Loki's buddies have the Tesseract, they both have a grudge against Earth, and J.A.R.V.I.S. doesn't seem to register big Loki-shaped magical entities as threats. I'd say this doesn't bode well.'

'Well, there is a simpler option,' Banner mumbled. 'The Chitauri don't _need_ Loki any more. His big moment's gone, he lost the battle and wasted an entire army, but in the end they got what they wanted – the Tesseract. You guys do realise they could've just killed Thor and Loki on the spot? So why didn't they? Why would they let Thor go and keep Loki around? Unless Loki's gotten himself in trouble.'

A brief silence.

'What, if he's being tortured?' said Rogers. The word just fell out, simple and ugly.

'I'm just saying we shouldn't rule out the possibility – '

'The possibility that Loki's telling the truth? Come on. Guy couldn't quit backstabbing people if his life depended on it,' was Stark's rebuttal.

'But if he is being tor – '

'If he is, is that our problem?' Barton finally spoke up. The archer's face was stony. 'He chose the path he took. He opted to take the risk, and he tore up half of New York in the process. Now you're saying we're supposed to care?'

Banner opened his mouth to reply, frowning and shifting uncomfortably on his feet, but Stark butted back in:

'Thor, you know him best, you said it yourself. If I recall correctly, you said the guy's too far gone up batshit creek to care about something trivial like _pain_. So is Loki the type to come crying? What's his game?'

Thor considered it.

'Loki is strong,' he said finally, 'And fuelled by hatred. The goodness is gone from his heart. You don't know him as I do – his thirst for power cannot be quenched. He has vowed revenge and will have it no matter what the cost.'

They were interrupted by the fuzz of static from Romanoff's headset; her fingers flew to it. She did not look pleased.

'Director Fury is en route to debrief Thor.'

'I know nothing I haven't already told you,' said Thor wearily, 'With or without the Chitauri, Loki will be back. I know not when – perhaps he will strike within the hour, or perhaps he will bide his time for months. But we had better be ready for him when he does.'


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I hope this chapter isn't too disappointing. Thanks to EvilConcubine, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, j-mercuryuk and Guest for reviewing, to those who continue to Fav and Follow, and to Bomber for betaing.**

It took a month before anything happened – a month of excruciating apprehension, without even a false alarm to break the constant waiting. S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers never once let down their guard, and it was taking its toll on Thor's nerves.

He had been given the topmost floor of the rebuilt Stark Tower to use as his own personal quarters – an elegant yet pragmatic spread of rooms that catered to his daily needs perfectly, almost removing any need to interact with his friends; and Thor had taken to solitude. Floor-to-ceiling windows offered him a further sense of proximity to the sky, from which he drew comfort, knowing that if anything came, he would see it coming.

He never saw Loki coming.

It was one of those sleepless nights that were becoming increasingly common; Thor sat alone, his head in his hands, rubbing his tired face. _Loki meditated whenever he couldn't sleep. He said it was far more restful_, he remembered, before angrily shoving the memory out of his head.

He wasn't sure what it was that alerted him to the silent, motionless presence behind him – perhaps a subtle crackle of magic, or perhaps just instinct. He whipped around, unhooking the hammer from his belt.

In front of him, in the middle of the open-plan lounge, was Loki. The _real_ Loki. Yet there was no portal, no Tesseract, no army or even a weapon in sight. The God of Mischief stood tall and self-composed as ever, but with a heaviness to his posture that spoke of defeat. As Thor moved towards him, he lowered his eyes, inhaling unevenly as if trying to steady himself.

'Brother,' Loki's voice was subdued. 'I came to surrender.'

'Why?' Thor demanded. Loki swayed, a ragged breath hitching in his throat, his eyes still downcast. Something else looked odd or different about him. What was it? 'Are you wounded? What ails you?'

'Do you ask from concern or practicality?' Loki replied quietly. Thor literally growled. Electricity gathered and crackled around Mjölnir's head as he readied to strike, but as he advanced on Loki, Loki drew back, entering the moonlight. Dampness – either nervous sweat or smudged tear-tracks – was shimmering on the skin of his face. 'I surrendered,' he said. As Thor reached for him, Loki recoiled, then suddenly fell, hugging Thor's leg. It took a moment for Thor's brain to catch up, and incredulously he realised his brother was on all fours.

'Loki – '

'I am sorry. Forgive me.' Loki's voice was muffled, his head pressed to Thor's knee. This was _wrong_. Loki would never do this. 'Please forgive me.'

How could he not? Every misgiving and resentment melted away; dropping his hammer, Thor knelt and gathered Loki into his embrace. Loki struggled briefly as he continued trying to cling to his knee.

'Loki, stop,' Thor entreated him, unable to bear seeing Loki reduced to such a state. 'Stop this. Don't do this. Please.'

'I hated you. So much hatred – I wanted to hurt you. I wanted to hurt everyone, even those who had done nothing,' he was mumbling, 'I told myself I had no brother. No home, because home was where you were. I'm sorry. I betrayed you. I betrayed everyone.'

'Loki, enough, please. All will be well. I promise you.' _Loki was telling the truth_, he realised painfully. _The Chitauri turned on him after all_. He held Loki as warmly as he knew how, trying to calm him. Loki's hands linked together behind Thor's back. There was no illusion here this time, no deception in this tangible body racked with tremors of fear.

'Do you forgive me?'

'Of course.' Firmly. Unhesitatingly. 'Of course I do. Freely and truly. You're my brother.'

'But you stopped, didn't you?'

'I gave up hope. I'm sorry. I should have known better. I should have trusted in your heart.'

Loki did not reply, but leaned into him, tightening his hold. In a mixture of heartache and relief, Thor closed his eyes.

The dagger's touch was a serpent's kiss, silken yet chill. Thor's mouth and eyes opened wide in shock as the blade slid into the back of his neck. Loki drew back from him. His face was still damp, but his expression had cleared and ceased its trembling – a pale, cold mask.

'You've always been a fool,' he said flatly. 'And you never learn, do you?'

Releasing him, Loki rose. Thor remained on his knees, staring up at him numbly. It was only then that he realised what it was that had been nagging at him. The God of Mischief looked his former self – his face youthful and healthy, his hair neatly combed and nape-length – not the gaunt, haggard God of Menace who had come to threaten Earth just months ago. A version of Loki which Thor would trust. A glamour. A lie.

Loki passed a hand over his eyes, wiping them dry.

'Let this be your life's final lesson, _Odinson_. Love does not redeem. There is no redemption. Forgive me all you want, but by your arrogance you made me this way, and this way I shall remain. Your forgiveness means nothing. It is worthless.'

The Liesmith lashed out, kicking Thor flat on his back, then turned and began limping away. Before he got far, thunder sounded and a tear rent open in the atmosphere, a glowing swirl of blue building steadily in the sky. A portal was opening. Something was coming through.

'He lies bleeding,' Loki said aloud to the blue. 'The others are coming, but they will not cope long without him.'

Then a voice which came from nowhere yet everywhere replied, but it was _inside Thor's head_; and it must have been in Loki's too, for Loki doubled up as if about to retch. Deep and resounding and utterly terrifying, it said:

'_Thanos approaches_.'


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: This chapter is basically word soup; I'm terrible at writing action scenes, especially with so many characters. Big, big thanks to ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, EvilConcubine, anonYmous, Guest, THORKISUPPORT, My-chan, j-mercuryuk and Guest for your reviews, and to my Fav'ers and Followers too :o). ~ SneakWriter**

The humanoid entity that stepped through stood head and shoulders above Thor – _massive_, a bulky male musculature blown grotesquely out of proportion. Its skin was reddish-purple. In one hand was the Tesseract, still inside the glass casing in which it had been placed to allow its handling. His eyes glowed with raw magic; a searing beam of pure energy erupted from them, slicing through the building's framework like a knife through butter, clearing a path for his entry. All that remained of the windows was shattered glass. A chill descended as night entered Stark Tower.

The Eternal walked calmly across the ruined floor, one step at a time. As he passed Loki, a shimmer of light passed over the God of Mischief, travelling the length of his body as the glamour was lifted, his appearance of health draining away. Loki collapsed. Thor couldn't see his face, only dishevelled dark hair.

Thanos breathed deep in satisfaction.

'_This realm trembles_.'

Despite everything, despite his wound, Thor was still preoccupied with Loki.

'What have you done to him?' he demanded.

Thanos followed his gaze.

'_Ah, yes. The Master of Magic_,' he scoffed, '_The cast-out son. Even he was no match for me_.'

He pulled Loki up by the hair, giving him a shake. Horror clutched at Thor's heart as he saw his brother's true form laid bare. The trickster's pale face was swollen, discoloured and horrifically battered, vomit caked on his parched chapped lips, his blue eyes glassy as he stared up at the Mad Titan.

'_You love the liar still. You would die for him. Perhaps I will let him live for a few millennia more – to suffer. You see, even the Liesmith can be lied to. I have seen his deepest fears, his innermost weaknesses, and pulled them raw and screaming out into the light_…'

Almost casually, Thanos slammed Loki facedown into the ground, shattering the concrete slabs in a puff of dust. Loki lay motionless. The Worshipper of Death advanced on Thor.

'_Every mind is an open book to me – even the little frost runt's. Do you know what his subconscious screamed for in the depths of his pain and delirium? _Brother, brother, help me, save me. _Yet you did not come…you turned him away…_'

Unable to contain himself any longer, Thor let out an incoherent yell of renewed rage, and Mjölnir flew to his outstretched hand. Lightning blazed across the space between them, but Thanos brushed it aside as if swatting a fly. The Mad Titan was _playing_ with him, a grin splitting his monstrosity of a face.

'_I see your heart. I see your fear. You fear failure. You tremble at the thought of it – of standing idly by while your friends die, your family is torn asunder and your realm falls. You think yourself changed and grown, fit for kingship, but inside, you are still the same jealous son longing to be the sole centre of his father's approval – even at the expense of the one you call Brother. You pushed him aside so that the light fell only on you. You took his glory and made it yours. You drove him to turn against you_.'

Suddenly Thanos grunted. Loki was standing behind him, eyes wide with terror, right arm still outflung and one of his useless little throwing knives buried in Thanos' back. In irritation, the Mad Titan swiped at him. Loki was sent flying, hit the far wall and crumpled to the ground in a heap. He didn't get back up.

'_NO_!' Thor lurched to his feet, and with all of his might and a bellowing cry, struck Thanos. The Mad Titan stumbled, but laughed.

'_You think you can fight me, Asgardian princeling? I have destroyed whole worlds with but little effort_.'

Thor was beyond listening; gritting his teeth, he swung again and again, not caring that none of his blows landed. Thanos grabbed his fist, threatening to crush both Thor's hand and Mjölnir's leather-bound handle.

'_Fool. You think you and your meagre forces can withstand me? None can contest me. Not even the spawn of Old One-Eye. I was willing to spare this tiny world, but by your show of defiance, you challenged me. I shall obliterate Asgard, and Midgard before it_.'

'You won't be the first to try, trust me,' the voice of Stark broke in. Iron Man was hovering level with the empty windowframe, having evidently forgone the conventional elevator in favour of flying. Simultaneously, the door opened. The Avengers had assembled. 'Who the hell are you?'

'_I am Thanos_.'

'Tony. Nat, Clint…'

Thanos finally went on the offensive. A second energy beam carved through the ruins. Stark reciprocated, firing on all cylinders, but was sent through the wall in a cloud of dust and debris. The Hulk moved to shield the others, but caught the brunt of the blast and was knocked down beneath the weight of falling rubble; rendered unconscious, he began to shrink back to his human form. Romanoff and Hawkeye began to shoot at the advancing figure before realising it was useless.

'_There is but one thing in this universe equal to me in power…The Cosmic Cube…but no longer_.' Carelessly, he crushed the Tesseract in his fist, glass casing and all. The Cube's blue light drained away, absorbed into his body. He smiled. '_Look now upon me, Thor Odinson, and see the doom of worlds_.'

He was interrupted by a flash of red, white and blue; Rogers' thrown shield clipped Thanos' shoulder, catching his attention.

'The Tesseract…' Steve panted '…never liked being touched.'

Thanos looked down at the shattered Cube in his hand, just as the shards trembled and stirred of their own accord. Thor barely had time to avert his gaze. The explosion of blue light was overwhelming, accompanied by a deafening rush of air as if the atmosphere were collapsing in upon itself. The Mad Titan was obliterated in a heartbeat.

Before it was even over, Thor was already back on his feet. He did not wait to see his enemy's disintegrating remains settle in the dirt, but yelled his younger brother's name and flew to where his Loki's body lay, broken and unmoving.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: So, I was not expecting such a positive response to the last chapter. Lots of thanks and baked goods to UnifedNations, EvilConcubine, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, My-chan, THORKISUPPORT, Guest, kalhisto azula, Guest, oOo and May Glenn for your reviews, and to my new Fav'ers and Followers.**

**May Glenn wondered why I decided to rewrite the original, so: basically I just didn't like how I'd handled the characterisation and rushed the plot. Also I didn't have **_**The Avengers**_** on DVD yet, which I do now, and now I have whole new levels of feels for it…**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy.**

Loki did not move as Thor dropped to his knees beside him; gently grasping his shoulder, the God of Thunder turned him over, trembling at what he found. Loki's face was near unrecognisable.

'Loki, do you hear me?'

Both Loki's eyes were almost puffed shut. One of them managed to open slightly, a crack of blue-green looking up at him. His wreck of a mouth moved, and he may have tried to speak, but he couldn't form a single word.

'Shh, save your strength.' Uselessly Thor tried to wipe away some of the dried blood and sick, clumsily brushing his thumb over Loki's cheek. A painful cough worked its way up from Loki's chest. The eye was losing focus, slowly drifting shut. 'Loki, look at me. Try to stay awake, brother.' _He tried to help me_. Guilt clawed at Thor's heart. If only he had not let himself get knocked down…had fought harder…

'Thor?' He realised Agent Romanoff was crouched beside him, her hand on his shoulders. The others were gathering behind her, a normal-sized Banner dusting himself off and zipping up his jacket. Stark was approaching with difficulty, in the process of extracting himself from his crushed suit, half of it reduced to dead metal.

'Someone tell me what the hell that big purple guy was doing here? Whooo, boy,' he added upon seeing Loki.

'He tried to fight,' Thor told them, 'He shouldn't have. There was nothing he could've done. He was too weak. He should've known better…'

'Okay. Look, we can't stay out here. We need to move. Let's get him inside, okay?' Natasha coaxed him. Thor nodded and rose to his feet, lifting Loki's tall frame easily in his arms. He didn't take his eyes off his brother's unconscious face as he carried him down several floors, the door to the medical bay automatically sliding open to admit them.

'Put him down here,' said Bruce. Thor placed Loki on the nearest gurney and backed off. The God of Mischief wasn't moving. Banner checked the trickster's vitals and made sure his airways were clear.

'Is he alive?' Steve asked tersely.

'He's still breathing. I think he's just passed out.' Banner snapped on a pair of surgical gloves. 'Jarvis, I need you to give me a rundown of Loki's injuries. Skip what I can already see.'

'**One moment, sir**.' A pause, and then, '**The multiple lacerations appear to have been inflicted with a sharp object. The extensive bruising across three quarters of his body is consistent with repeated blunt traumas. There also seems to be severe internal damage**.'

'What damage?'

'**Acid burns to the oral and gastrointestinal tracts**.'

'They made him drink…?' Steve cut himself off before he could finish formulating the sentence.

Thor looked uncharacteristically shaken as he said:

'These wounds…I fear they are beyond even you. He requires Asgardian healing.'

'Well, we'll just have to make do, unfortunately.' Clinically and efficiently, Bruce began cutting away the Loki's clothes with a pair of scissors. The God of Mischief was working his way slowly back towards consciousness, eyes moving behind closed lids. His loosely curled hands began to stir at his sides as if attempting a protective posture. He made a faint noise of complaint. Leaning down, Thor soothed him:

'It is alright; you are safe, brother, you are with friends.'

As he uncovered injury after injury, Bruce struggled to suppress the rising tide of revulsion threatening to sweep away his composure. Now was not the time to get angry.

'Okay, this is going to need a helluva lot of stitches,' he said, wheeling Loki's gurney towards the nearest operating table. 'I need to move him. Thor, Steve, grab a corner. Try to keep his body in the same position. Lift on three and place him on the slab, okay? Ready? One – two – three – '

They laid the trickster out on the table, adjusting its incline until Loki's torso was slightly elevated.

'So what happened to his big comeback?' Barton snorted, 'I thought he had an alien army in his pocket.'

'I dunno about that,' said Stark, 'Of the two bad guys who were on the roof just now, which one looked more dangerous to you? Thor, you were there first – what's the dynamic here? Who double-crossed who?'

Thor hesitated.

'Loki's deception, I think, was deliberate. His intentions certainly were not friendly. But after betraying me, he was in turn betrayed. Perhaps Thanos intended to drive a wedge between us to ensure I did not come to his aid. I do not know.'

'So…what, Thanos orchestrated all this bullshit just for the _fun_ of it? That takes a whole new level of dickery.'

'Well, in the meantime, let's just concentrate on preventing Loki from dying' said Banner, 'I need to hook him up to a ventilator. Somebody pass me an oxygen mask.'

Thor looked about, wondering what the referenced object could be, but nobody else moved. Romanoff was watching Barton, and Barton himself was staring at Loki.

'Why?' said the archer.

'What do you mean?' said Captain Rogers in a warning tone, knowing full well what Clint was thinking.

'I might be in the minority here…but I reckon we're wasting our time.'

Thor moved as fast as if propelled by Mjölnir; Steve made a grab for him but was pushed aside. Catching Hawkeye by the shoulders, Thor snarled in his face:

'He _tried to help_. He was wounded, and broken, and probably thought he was dying, but when he saw I was losing the fight he tried to come to my aid, even though he had tricked me just moments before. It took magic – it cost him effort. And it took courage – he was _terrified_ of the Titan. And now you are telling me that not only is he beyond redemption, but he _deserves_ pain?'

'Frankly…yeah. He's the God of Mischief. Screwing people over is in his blood.'

'I'll get it myself, shall I?' Banner muttered quietly, digging out a plastic oxygen-mask and strapping it onto Loki's face.

'You know nothing of his _blood_, archer.' Thor released him roughly. 'Loki is my brother.'

'Exactly, you're acting out of wishful thinking.'

'Right, enough!' Stark would've banged his fist on the tabletop, but it was too far away, so he clapped his hands loudly instead. 'Maybe you're right, maybe it's all a big lie and it'll turn out Loki means to cut our throats in our sleep. Who the hell knows? But in the meantime, _that_ – ' he made a broad, sweeping gesture encompassing the length of Loki's body, '_that_ is real. Flesh and blood and lots of issues. And he needs medical help which we're going to give him. My house, my rules. If you have an issue with that, maybe you should take a look at finding new five-star accommodations. The Plaza Hotel's pretty amazing. Only twenty floors though, so you'll be missing out on the great view.'

'And how do you know Loki's not playing you like a piano?'

'I don't. But I take people's lives seriously,' Tony's voice had dropped to dangerously quiet, 'And whether you like it or not, "people" includes Loki. And if you want to start arguing pedantics, I've got some rebuttals. Namely _him_.' He pointed at the God of Thunder. 'He's a person, indestructible metabolism or not.'

Clint looked down at Loki in disgust. Banner was busy injecting an IV into the crook of Loki's elbow, a bag of fluids trembling at the other end of the line. The physicist kept his voice calm.

'Guys, please continue your discussion outside, I need to work.'

'I would stay with him, Doctor,' said Thor.

'He'll be out cold for a while, Thor. It won't do either of you any good. I'll tell you when it's time for him to wake up, and you can be here when he does.'

'No. I will not leave him again.'

'Alright,' said Banner, wincing as he examined a fist-sized, ugly, mottled bruise on Loki's upper arm which showed signs of internal haemorrhage. 'But you might want to cover your eyes.'


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thank you to Guest, Guest, My-chan, Guest, DaiKuro-chan, intern3t, thegriffin88, THORKISUPPORT, oOo, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, May Glenn, Guest and EvilConcubine for reviewing. I know Thanos went down pretty easily for a supervillain. I'm not great at writing fight scenes (or at plotting, either) and so wrapped it up quickly.**

As he surfaced from unconsciousness, he willed himself back into oblivion's refuge, wanting anything but to face awareness. Yet there was no pain. His body still ached, and his insides still burned, but it was distant, as if behind a wall of palliative. Where was it? It had been constant for so long, and now its absence left him shuddering and flinching in perpetual anticipation of it.

Loki was lying down on his back, but the surface beneath him was soft, comfortable and yielding, and there were no restraints. His eyelids flickered, snatching blurred glimpses of long curtains and a pale, sterile room. A Midgardian healing room._ The humans have me_.

The hospital bed was only partially curtained off, and his bleary gaze fell on a seated figure nearby. Armour and golden hair. Loki's heart seemed to freeze in place, petrified.

_Thor_.

Odinson rose to his feet. The last two times they had met in the flesh, Thor had been poisoned and stabbed. Loki had no reason to expect solicitude.

_Lie_, thought Loki desperately, _Lie to him so he doesn't hurt you_. Deceit came so fast, weaving webs of deception with the ease of breathing, his last and only defence mechanism – trickery born of fear to protect himself from a threat which was not there. But his own weakness let him down – his burnt throat, beaten mouth and bitten tongue struggled to form words. Drawing back as much as he could, he pressed himself down into the mattress, even though the exertion hurt. His mind screamed at his body to rise, to fight, to flee, but he could barely move a muscle. Seeing Loki recoil, Thor stopped; his hands rose, but they were empty – Mjölnir hung at his belt.

'You're safe, Loki.'

The words were almost meaningless. Nowhere was safe.

'…Thanos…' His voice came out almost inaudible.

'He's gone, Loki. He's dead. The Tesseract destroyed him in its final moments.'

'Thanos promised…if I did it…_He promised_.'

'Brother, do not speak of it. Do not think of it.' Thor was slightly shaking his head. 'I never took back my forgiveness – you always had it.'

'They wouldn't…stop…They wouldn't stop…'

'Hush. Everything will be alright now.'

Thor moved away. Loki had relaxed slightly. He finally managed to lift his head. They had taken his clothes, he realised in sudden rising panic, but from the waist down he was still covered by a light blanket. The sight of his own mutilated body horrified him – a mess of bruises both old and fresh, yellowish-brown or bluish-purple, with an unhealthy pallor beneath them. He was more injured than he had ever thought possible. The open wounds were wrapped in bandaging, while little gauze rectangles were stuck over the smaller cuts. _They mean to keep me alive. Why? Thor does not interrogate me. Nobody comes to question their prisoner or gloat over their fallen god._

He heard liquid being poured, and felt Odinson's fingers slide under the back of his neck, lifting his head. The rim of something hard bumped against his mouth and he felt the kiss of moisture. Loki jerked away, a burst of desperate strength allowing his hands to rise and push feebly at the unwelcome cup.

'Brother, you must drink – it is only water – ' Thor reassured him. The cup's contents splashed over his chin and throat, cool and harmless. Calming down a little, Loki closed his lips and shook his head as emphatically as he could. 'Are you in pain? I'll inform Banner, he can give you something to alleviate it…'

By now, it was apparent that Thor really meant no harm. Had he forgotten everything already? Had he forgotten being lured into Loki's arms, all the better to be knifed in the neck? In shame, fear and exhaustion, Loki allowed himself to close his eyes. When he felt a little better, he opened them again to find Thor's troubled stare still on his face.

'How long…' he swallowed, 'How long was I…there?'

'For a month, brother, or thereabouts.' It had felt so much longer to both of them. 'There is a chance Father may be able to find a way to bring us home without either Bifrost or Tesseract – perhaps dark energy. I hope so, at least.'

'…Father…and Mother…will despise me…' The acknowledgment of family was bitter, but necessary if he was to stay on Odinson's good side.

'Never. How can you think so? You belong on Asgard, and we will prove it. If any dare hate you, I will make them feel otherwise. Your place is with us.'

'Rest. Save your strength.'

Loki made an unintelligible noise of protest.

'They'll come for me.'

'Who? The Chitauri? They are all but wiped out, you need not fear their wrath any more.'

'No…the humans…'

'I will not let that happen. I will watch over you. I give you my word I will not leave your side until you are well.'

Loki searched Thor's face and found nothing in his blue gaze but pity, understanding and tender, misguided compassion. After a minute or so, Loki's breathing slowed to a steady pace. He had lost consciousness again. Troubled, Thor straightened the blanket over his brother's body. No sooner had he resumed his seat than the door slid open. Tony Stark entered. In one hand was a shot-glass of alcohol, and he gestured with it towards Loki.

'He woken up yet?'

'Yes, for a while. We spoke.'

'How did he seem?'

'Agitated. Afraid…of me, even though I meant him no harm.' A thought occurred to Thor; he frowned and said reproachfully, 'You were listening in?'

'Nope. Honestly, I wasn't.' Stark crossed his heart, then admitted, 'Okay, I asked Jarvis to pull up a live feed just in case. I killed the audio though, I figured you guys might want some privacy. Did he tell you anything important?'

'Not really. But I did not ask. Now is the time for rest and healing – questions can wait.'

'You reckon they'll let us keep him here?' said Tony sceptically.

Thor hesitated, knowing it was an undeniable possibility that he and his friends would be refused authorisation to harbour Loki – a dangerous, known threat – at their headquarters, and that Loki would be removed and placed in S.H.I.E.L.D. custody.

'Loki may be a criminal in both our worlds, but he is of Asgard as much as I am. Allies or no, Earth would risk war by seeking to remove him from my care.' He made the promise with resignation rather than vehemence, then sighed and rubbed his face. A few hours' waiting seemed to have wearied him more than a millennia of battle.

'Hey, Point Break, you look dead on your feet. Why don't you go get some sleep?'

'Not until my brother is recovered.'

'That might take some time.'

'So be it,' said Thor firmly.

'Well, I'll bring you down a sleeping-bag just in case you change your mind.' Thor nodded his thanks. Tony glanced at the sleeping Loki, cocked his head to the side, running his eyes up and down the battered profile, and winced in sympathy. 'Dude,' he muttered very quietly, then left to fetch that sleeping-bag.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Sorry not much is happening in these chapters. Hopefully it'll pick up in the next one. Anyway, huge thanks to EvilConcubine, Guest, THORKISUPPORT, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, oOo and My-chan for reviewing :o)**

He was muzzled – robbed of words, his voice silenced and his only weapon taken from him. He was in the golden throne-room in Asgard, but it was Thor in the shining throne, not the All-Father – everything so bright, the air so clean and sweet, it almost hurt. His shackled hands left stains of blood and dirt on the floor as he crawled like a crippled dog. As Thor turned his back in dismissal, Chitauri hands grabbed Loki. Loki screamed through closed lips, muffled behind unforgiving metal, screamed and screamed in terror.

_You see how they turn away?_ the voice in his head crooned. The voice of Thanos. _You see how little you are worth? You see how even your own loved ones despise you?_

Loki choked as his mouth filled with blood, and then the blood began to _burn_.

'Loki!'

Loki woke up dry-heaving. Hands were shaking him, but they were not the Chitauri's. He jerked away and tried to sit up, his arms pushing weakly at the bed, completely disorientated._ Stop it make it stop brother help me save me make it stop please_ –

_He won't save you. He doesn't love you any more._

Outside, a troubled Banner pushed up his glasses, examining several scans of Loki's body from within the last hour. Already the God of Mischief was healing; now that the active torture had ceased, his body had a chance to recover, and little by little was doing so – split skin scabbing over, broken blood vessels knitted back together. You had to admire Asgardian biology.

'**Dr Banner? Sorry to interrupt**.'

'Yes, Jarvis?'

'**I'm afraid Mr Laufeyson appears to be suffering a panic attack**.'

'_What_?' Dropping his scans, Bruce ran back into the medical bay. As he neared the door and it slid open, he could hear an indistinct moaning and hyperventilating. Loki was no longer on the bed, but on the floor beside it. He had fallen in a tangle, his scarred limbs paler than his white hospital gown, his eyes wide and dilated, and was shaking. The God of Thunder was kneeling beside him, trying unsuccessfully to restrain him.

'Loki, it's me! It's only me! Calm down!' He looked up desperately. 'He was trembling in his sleep, and I thought he must be dreaming, so I tried to wake him…'

'Thor.' Loki clutched at him as if to make sure that he was real, then let go. Realising where he was, he collapsed back onto the bed, dragging in deep breaths as he willed his racing heart to steady itself. He had broken into a cold sweat. 'Thanos,' he gasped.

'He's gone, Loki. He's not here.'

Loki shook his head wildly, reaching up to clutch at his dizzy temples.

'He's still in here. Still in my head. He won't get out. He won't leave me alone. He keeps talking to me.'

'Hey, hey, take it easy,' Bruce was at his side immediately. 'You're not in danger. You're safe here. Take it easy…'

Thor and Banner remained beside him for several minutes as Loki gradually regained control of himself. Loki finally grasped Thor's hand by the wrist and moved it away from himself – more of a distancing gesture than a hostile one. His struggles had left him aching like he had pulled every muscle in his body.'What time is it?' he asked quietly, mainly to cover up his display of weakness.

'It's morning, brother.'

Bruce awkwardly withdrew a few metres, then turned away. The trickster watched the doctor suspiciously. He distrusted Banner. What was housed beneath that mild-mannered, self-effacing, and for all intents and purposes friendly exterior, Loki could never forget. The Midgardian had been careful not to leave any remotely dangerous-looking medical instruments lying around – as much for Loki's peace of mind as for security reasons – and was now looking through the drawers, handling their strange contents.

'What are you doing?' Loki's quiet, distrustful voice was strange coming out of that defenceless face. 'What's that?'

'It's a feeding-tube,' said Bruce simply, showing it to him, 'It goes into your stomach and provides nutrition. If that's okay.' Loki looked at the tube. He was drawing in unsteady breaths through his nose, his mouth firmly shut. His muscles were tensing on the verge of fight or flight. 'Don't worry, I'll put you under – I mean, I'll give you a drug to make you fall asleep for a little while. You won't feel a single thing.'

Loki had frozen. Somewhere in the back of his mind was a cowering, cornered animal.

'Get away from me,' he muttered; and as they hesitated, screamed, '_Get away from me!_'

Thor looked resigned.

'Banner, I fear you must leave,' he said apologetically, 'I must comfort my brother.'

There was no point disagreeing. As Bruce left, Loki shivered in Thor's embrace, whispering:

'I couldn't speak. I couldn't even speak…'

Banner exited the medical bay to find Agent Barton waiting for him. He must have overheard what had gone on inside, but his expression and posture were perfectly relaxed as if it was of no consequence.

'Drama queen pitching a fit?' he said with a small smile.

'He's traumatised,' said Bruce semi-reproachfully.

'You buy that?'

'I'm not a psychologist,' Banner admitted, 'But I've helped people before. I trust my prognosis.'

'I trust my gut instinct,' Barton countered, 'And my gut instinct's telling me we could at least have restraints on that bed.'

'I don't want to argue with you, Clint. Really. Please don't get me involved in your personal vendetta. I'm tired of it. I would say it's between you and Loki, but really it's just between you and yourself.' Bruce gathered up his fallen scans, shuffled them neatly into order and tucked them under one arm, then paused. 'And Clint? Don't even think about going in there.'

Barton didn't reply as Banner walked away, leaving the archer to slowly clench his fists.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: As you can see, I couldn't give Loki a break. Anyway, thank yous to CriesofCapricorn, Guest, My-chan, SkyressFantasys, oOo, EvilConcubine, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, THORKISUPPORT, Guest and DreamerKate for your reviews, and to my Fav'ers and Followers.**

Hours seemed to bleed into days filled with nothing but waiting and discomfort. Most of the time Loki slept while Thor kept watch, but other times they spoke, the God of Thunder reminiscing about some adolescent adventure of telling of some Midgardian phenomenon he found amusing or impressive. Other times they just sat in silence – either awkward or companionable. Sometimes Loki rose from the bed for a few trembling steps, supported by Thor, just to stretch his legs.

The other Avengers were reluctant to intrude; Banner would came daily to change Loki's bandages and bring Thor something to eat, and sometimes Stark would wander in and out to check up on them, but aside from that they were left alone together. Loki never ate – hunger was much easier to endure than pain.

'I feel better,' Loki finally said, breaking the silence, 'My throat feels less sore and my body doesn't burn as fiercely.'

Thor was indescribably glad.

'I will tell Banner when he comes. He will be pleased – '

'No!' For an irrational moment, Loki feared that if he admitted he was getting stronger, they would take this as a signal to begin torturing him afresh. 'I still won't have them shoving anything inside me.'

'Alright, brother,' Thor placated him. After a pause, he changed the subject, 'Loki, I've been thinking. You've not moved from these chambers since your arrival. Perhaps we could relocate you somewhere else.'

'Where?' _So they've finally decided to put me in a cell._

'Another room. Stark has many, and perhaps a more comfortable environment will help your recovery.'

'One room is the same as another,' Loki said dismissively. He hoped Thor would stop talking now, but Odinson just kept rambling on in his stupid, insensitive way.

'Well, give it some thought, brother – '

'Your mouth was not made for words, Odinson. Is peace and quiet too much to ask for?' Loki snapped. He wasn't sure what made him lash out unprovoked. Perhaps it was old resentments resurfacing, or his frustration and disgust at his own weakness. 'Is this to be my punishment? To be paraded around in front of my enemies as a pathetic weakling who can't even wash himself? Was this your plan all along? I hadn't thought you such a proficient strategist.'

'I want nothing but your wellbeing,' said Thor stubbornly, not rising to the bait.

'My wellbeing,' Loki scoffed, 'You think you can fix me? Fix everything? You have _no idea_ what it was like, you fool. What gives you the right to extend the hand of friendship to me? You think I've forgotten how I came to you humbled and hurting and _you turned away_? Was that the love and filial loyalty you so pride yourself on?'

'I thought you a traitor,' said Thor bluntly. And in rage born of pure hurt, he shocked himself by adding, 'Because that's what you are. You're a traitor to the family that raised you, and you're a traitor to your own kind.'

Loki gulped as if the torrent of vitriol had suddenly stuck in his throat.

'Get out,' he finally said in a cracked voice, 'I will never forgive you. Get out!'

'Loki, I'm sorry – '

'_Get out!_'

Thor flinched at the sheer viciousness in Loki's face, and walked out. He was still agitated and seething as he made his way downstairs, but as the realisation of what had happened sank in, he was beset by guilt. Had those words truly come from him? How could he have said or even thought such a terrible thing? Loki was his brother, his beloved and only brother, not some unwanted outcast.

Thor headed straight back for the medical bay, but paused outside the door. It seemed he could hear a soft, muffled noise from within. Was Loki crying? Thor stood hesitating. _Loki has suffered enough humiliation and degradation – he would not wish to be seen crying, least of all by me. I will leave him in peace, and later apologise to him. _Determined to be thoughtful from now on, Thor turned and walked away.

When Odinson first stormed out, Loki was left shaking. In olden days, he would have buried his pain and loneliness beneath smirks and passive-aggression, but doing that was so hard now. Only in his grimmest nightmares had he ever heard Thor speak to him so. _Thanos was right all along_.

_What was that?_ His head rose from where it had been resting in misery on his arms, but the noise – the ghost of a footstep – was gone. Had Thor come back?

With great difficulty Loki sat up, wincing, shifted his legs over the side of the bed and rose. He had been given new clothes, since he lacked the strength to magick up his own. There was a long, loose blue shirt which came down to his thighs, and a pair of soft canvas slip-on shoes. The flimsy garment hung awkwardly on his thin frame, exposing a gaunt collarbone and shoulders. He limped to the door, opened it and leaned out into the hallway, peering left and right. There was nobody in sight. Just his imagination playing tricks on him.

Suddenly the door slammed into him, sending him stumbling backwards into the room. Before he could regain his balance, he was knocked to the floor and pinned down beneath his assault. He found himself staring down the shaft of an arrow. Clint Barton had his bow aimed point-blank.

'Take it easy,' the agent whispered, 'I'm not going to hurt you. You're coming with me. Let's see how well your bullshit works when the only thing you have to talk to is your own shadow in solitary confinement.'

Loki fought back, but Barton's full weight was directly on top of him. He tried with all his might to summon up a dagger, but the magic eluded him. As they struggled, he heard footsteps in the corridor. Thor's. He could recognise them anywhere. Barton heard them too – the arrow disappeared, and a gloved hand clamped itself over Loki's mouth and nose; he tried to bite it unsuccessfully.

'Shh, shh,' the archer's voice soothed him in his ear.

Loki's hand slapped frantically at the floor, trying to get his brother's attention by thumping. He couldn't breathe properly, that hand over his mouth. He saw Thor's shadow under the door stop, pause, then turn and walk away. Loki's whimper was stifled behind Barton's glove.

'You know, I was actually willing to leave you alone, since the others were so determined to treat you like a poor, kicked puppy. But I've got my orders straight from S.H.I.E.L.D. I'm to bring you into custody and make it look like you've run off. Can't afford to jeapordise team relations, you see. I'm sorry.' Perhaps a part of him really meant it.

They were interrupted by the calm voice of Jarvis, making Barton jump.

'**Excuse me, Agent Barton, Mr Stark wishes me to inform you that dinner's ready and he's looking for you**.'

'Damn…' Barton looked down at Loki. 'You did this to yourself, understand? You had a flashback and started beating your own head to get rid of the memories. They ask you, that's the story you give 'em. You lie. You're good at that. Understand? You did this shit to yourself.'

And all Loki could think of was being half-mad with agony as the Chitauri wrought their revenge upon his body; and he was nodding, nodding Yes, anything to just get this pain to stop. His lungs were bursting. _Brother I can't breathe brother help me_…Then his head was being beaten against the wall for good measure. Blackness was closing in on him…

…_help…_

…_brother…_

…and then nothing.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Huge thank yous to Abandon-Morality, Lenny, Guest, kakirovich, My-chan (sorry about all the heart-breaking), DaiKuro-chan, oOo, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, Guest, THORKISUPPORT, EvilConcubine and thegriffin88 for your reviews, they really made me feel fuzzy x). Anyway, this chapter is almost all dialogue, which I'm not too happy with, but I guess it's necessary. I hope you enjoy:**

It was Cap of all people who found Loki.

He was sitting in one of Stark Tower's several kitchens – losing a game of poker against Natasha while Bruce spectated and Tony tried his hand at cooking – when they were surprised to see Thor enter. The God of Thunder had not left his brother's side for a moment since he had first been struck down by Thanos.

'Needed some fresh air, did you?' said Tony, who had switched off the live security feed to the medical bay just before the argument had broken out, deciding he needed to draw a line somewhere with the whole invasion of privacy thing – and besides, ninety per cent of Thor and Loki's interactions were just silences anyway

'Loki asked me to leave,' said Thor heavily, taking a seat.

'You guys fight?' said Bruce.

'Yes,' Thor admitted reluctantly, 'I said something…unforgivable to him. Something terrible.'

'Want me to go up and keep an eye on him?' said Natasha sceptically.

'I'm afraid he would find your company abrasive. He made it clear to me that he wishes to be alone for a while.'

'Well, everyone needs some alone time every now and then. What's that supposed to be?' she added as she noticed Tony taking something out of the oven.

'Dinner,' said Stark as he unveiled the fruits of his labour – a pizza crust topped with caviar and lobster. 'Look at that. Total masterpiece. Where the hell's Clint? He needs to see this.'

'**Mr Barton is currently in the m –** '

'Never mind, I've stopped caring. Tell him dinner's getting cold and I've been looking everywhere for him.'

They ate as a group. Clint came in but just poured himself a stiff drink from the whiskey bar and then left again, saying he wasn't hungry. He seemed preoccupied. Natasha's eyes followed him and she seemed to have a sudden misgiving, a frown crossing her face, but she shrugged it off. Thor was clearly guilt-ridden and unhappy, so they tried to cheer him up with distractions, and carried on playing poker.

Finally Steve needed to piss, and excused himself. He wasn't completely sure what prompted him to check on Loki on the way to the bathroom. Perhaps he wanted to make sure the God of Mischief wasn't causing trouble, or perhaps – in hindsight – it was gut instinct telling him that something was wrong. He entered the medical bay to find blood on the wall and Loki lying motionless on the floor.

'Loki?'

Shock and suspicion were quickly replaced by horror as he rushed over, already fearing the worst. _Please don't be dead, Thor would lose his mind_…He turned Loki over and immediately regretted it. Loki's dark hair was sticky and matted with blood, and his face was streaked with red – every scab had re-opened and begun to bleed afresh, plus new cuts and bruises. Loki was conscious but dazed, his eyes open but unfocused, their lights gone out. Steve swore under his breath.

'Shit…Jarvis, get everyone up here now.'

'**Right away, sir**.'

He checked the trickster for a pulse and was relieved to find one. He didn't trust himself to carry Loki to the bed without hurting him further, so just manoeuvred him into the recovery position to wait. _Who did this to him?_ Thor was the last person in the medical bay, but he would never in a million years do this to his brother.

He predicted that Thor's reaction was not going to pretty, so the instant the God of Thunder burst in, Steve immediately raised a hand and said placatingly "He's okay, he's breathing". Thor's only response was to shove him aside.

'Brother? What happened? Who has hurt you?'

Loki was unresisting and lifeless. The crust of blood on his lips cracked as he finally spoke.

'…_Where were you_?' His tone wasn't accusing or bitter – just quiet, tired and utterly defeated.

'I'm so sorry.' Thor carefully stroked Loki's bloody hair away from his face, wincing as the black strands stuck to the cuts and bruises. 'I'm so, so sorry. I'm here now. I'm here.'

'Jarvis, what the hell happened?' Tony demanded.

'**Unfortunately I'm not at liberty to say, sir**.'

'What do you mean?'

'**It would appear some of my files were deleted by an unknown party**.'

'Recover them.'

'**Yes, sir**.'

'Loki, look at me.' Thor very gently clasped his brother's shoulders. Beneath the tenderness and care was suppressed rage. 'Who did this to you? Tell me.'

'…Nobody. I did it.'

'What do you mean? Loki, if someone did this to you, you need not hide it. You can tell me.'

'I did it myself. There were voices…in my head. They wouldn't leave me alone. So I tried to make them go away.'

Unable to bear it any longer, and fighting back tears, Thor pulled his brother into a hug which Loki did not return. The trickster's head rested limply against Thor's broad shoulder. _My fault. Because of me. Because I called him a traitor. He tried to save me from Thanos when he couldn't even save himself, and still I called him a traitor. My own brother. _Thor realised Agent Barton was standing silently behind him.

'He needed me,' was all Thor could say. 'I should've been with him when the nightmares came, but he was alone. This would never have happened if I had been here to comfort him.'

Clint didn't reply.

'He's lying,' said Agent Romanoff abruptly, and everyone looked at her, even Loki. She was standing with her arms folded. 'Last time we checked, he could barely get out of bed, and all of a sudden he had the strength to beat himself to a pulp?'

'Adrenaline rush?' Steve suggested. 'Or he could've overplayed his weakness, and been stronger than he was letting on. Sorry, Thor, you have to look at it from every angle.'

'What, so he was saving his strength specifically for this?'

'Nightmares, panic attacks – sometimes they make you lash out. I don't see any reason to disbelieve him.'

'**I have managed to recover the files, sir. It seems the interference came from S.H.I.E.L.D. I can now tell you that Mr Laufeyson was assaulted by Agent Barton**.'

For one second, there was deathly silence. If not for the fact that he was cradling Loki in his arms, Thor would've killed the archer on the spot. As it was, by the time had put Loki down and risen to his feet, Mjölnir in hand, the others were already restraining him. His roar of fury made them all flinch.

'Thor, take it easy!'

'_What did you do to my brother?_ What coward preys on the defenceless?'

'And what were you doing that was so important you couldn't come to your precious brother's rescue?' Barton sniped back.

The words were like a sledgehammer blow to Thor, and it showed in his face. Simultaneously, he was seized with horror as he realised that he had been standing just outside the door at the time of the attack – had _heard_ Loki being smothered. If he had only opened it…

'I'll kill you!'

'Thor, you can't,' said Natasha bluntly, 'Not after everything we've been through together. Clint's one of us.'

'He is no ally of mine!' Thor snarled.

At that moment Banner punched Barton in the face, sending him stumbling a few steps. The doctor's skin had a greenish tinge to it. Nobody dared move. Clint spat blood from his lip.

'I had orders,' he said finally. 'Straight from Fury. I was to bring Loki in and make it look like he had run off. I wasn't planning on killing him. If I was, he'd be dead.'

'_You_ might be dead in a minute.' Tony grabbed Clint by the shirt. 'This guy's practically an invalid, and you want him carted off to a cell somewhere so he can be interrogated?'

'Orders are orders,' said Clint stubbornly.

'What about you?' Stark released Clint and turned an accusatory look to Natasha, 'You and your boyfriend are joined at the hip. Did you know about this?'

Romanoff hesitated.

'They did ask me. They said it was necessary that this situation be dealt with quietly. I refused because I don't quite hate Loki enough.' A little guilt showed through her cool façade. 'I didn't think they would approach Clint. I guess I was arrogant and thought I was the best person for the job, and if I wouldn't do it, who would?'

Loki closed his eyes, exhausted.

'Thor, Loki needs help now. Will you let me look after him?' said Banner, his green hue subsiding.

'No.'

'Then let me help, at least.'

'No. I can't trust any of you. I thought you were my friends. I will take Loki and leave. Don't try to follow us or I will kill you.'

'Thor, wait. We're on your side,' said Bruce.

'But are you on Loki's side? _Look at him!_ He was almost killed!'

'Thor, Loki is my patient. I blame myself as much as you for leaving him unattended. Right now, he needs professional medical attention. You can't take care of him yourself and you know it. Come on, buddy, we can work this out.'

'Hang on,' Steve broke in, 'You want Loki to stay here with S.H.I.E.L.D. after him? He needs to be as far away as possible right now.'

'Stark Tower is defensible,' said Tony simply, 'If they want to kidnap my house-guest, they can feel free to come knocking. But they're taking Loki over my dead body. That's a promise. I am going to have words with Fury. Clint, get the hell out of this building before I take a leaf out of Loki's book and send you out the window.'

Barton walked out – and after an indecisive moment and an apologetic glance at the others, Natasha followed him.

'Well,' said Steve into the silence, 'Gonna be a cosy weekend, just the four of us and Loki…'

'Alright,' said Thor finally, 'I'll stay here until my brother is sufficiently recovered, or else until my father makes it possible for us to return to Asgard. But nobody comes near him except myself and Banner. Understood? _Nobody_.'

They answered with nods. Loki was moved to another gurney, and Doctor Banner took charge as they set about treating him.

'Hey,' said Tony quietly. Loki's eyes moved to him without a word, expressionless. 'You know what that is?' Tony pointed to the red panic button beside the bed. 'It's an alarm. Press it in an emergency and we'll hear. Okay?' He thought Loki would not respond, but Loki gave a single nod.

'Move back, please, Tony,' said Bruce.

Stark obeyed.

'Jeez, what a mess,' he sighed to himself, then set about cleaning up the blood.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: This is a Loki-lite chapter, he'll be back in the next one. Massive thank yous to Guest, matriarch, Guest, DhampyrX2, thegriffin88, Guest, oOo, EvilConcubine, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, Guest and THORKISUPPORT for reviewing, and to my other Fav'ers and Followers. Incidentally, I thought I'd switch the rating from M to T, since I realised this fic isn't as hardcore as other Hurt/Comfort fics.**

'Sir, I'm afraid we have a visitor,' said Maria Hill as she strode down the metal walkway to where Fury and the two Agents were grouped. Clint was in mid-debriefing while Natasha stood nearby.

'Show him in,' replied Fury.

'He showed himself in.'

On cue, the automatic door slid open and Tony Stark walked in, the red-and-gold metal of his Mark VII glistening with raindrops, his visor open to expose his face. His expression was grim. Natasha sighed: 'Oh boy.'

Director Fury remained cool.

'Stark, you got your suit wet.'

'I'm curious,' said Iron Man as he descended the walkway towards them, 'Which part of "he's been tortured" did you not get? I thought we made it pretty clear that Loki was in no shape to be thrown in a glass cell, let alone pose a threat to the human race.'

'You think I'm acting on a grudge?' said Fury. 'As of a month ago, extraterrestrial invasion became the biggest threat mankind has ever faced. Not only are there other things out there with weapons and a mind to use them, but they're able to come and go by means we can't comprehend – _magic_, if you will. Something which Loki happens to be proficient at. His imprisonment is essential to the security of this world.'

'Really, Nick? Loki's been under my roof for a week now, and he hasn't done jack apart from lie in bed and have night terrors. He's the saddest thing you ever saw in your damn life. You think because he survived being puréed by the Hulk, he can take anything? Just because he's damn near immortal, it's okay to use him as a punching-bag?'

Iron Man flicked his hand and a hologram was projected into midair: a full-body scan J.A.R.V.I.S. had taken of Loki, supplemented by close-ups and anatomical diagrams.

'There. Maybe Clint and Nat failed to inform you, but this is what he looks like right now. The Chitauri didn't exactly welcome their failed leader back with open arms. They burned him _inside_. With acid. And they made him _drink_ it. Now he can't eat. He can't sleep. When he does, he wakes up screaming. And now his nightmares have a new face: Agent Barton.'

Clint said nothing.

'Thor is incredibly pissed off right now, and so is Bruce, and so am I. So congratulations. You managed to single-handedly do more damage to the Avengers than Loki ever did, and render meaningless everything we've fought for. But I guess decency is "an old-fashioned notion" too, right? Well done, guys.'

'Have you forgotten Agent Coulson?' said Hill.

The rotating hologram disappeared.

'Yeah, I'm sure Coulson would be delighted with what you're doing. Phil died believing that good and evil is what sets heroes and bad guys apart, so don't you dare toss his name about as some rationalisation for your bullshit. What you're doing is the _antithesis_ of heroic.'

'There's a difference between heroism and _doing what's right_. Keeping Loki under lockdown is the right thing to do.'

'So you think you can pull this shit without me finding out? _In my own home_? Where I am to all intents and purposes the boss?'

'Do you intend to_ fight_ us?'

'Only if you keep provoking me. Tell me, Clint.' He rounded on Barton. 'What _were_ your orders exactly? Do whatever you have to do to bring him in? Get him to come quietly so it'll look like he escaped? And you were willing to devastate Thor just to obey those orders?'

A tense silence dragged out as each person waited for someone else to speak. Iron Man looked from one face to the next.

'He wouldn't stop struggling,' said Barton eventually. 'I could've sedated him. There were tranquillisers right there in the cabinet. But I wanted him to be awake and conscious every step of the way. I wanted him to look me in the eye and know there was nothing he could do to stop me.'

Nobody spoke.

'Then I realised this wasn't going to work. He kept resisting me and trying to call for help – he called to his brother. So I had to shut him up. I beat him until he stopped moving, stopped making noises. But while I was doing it, he looked at me like…I don't know. Like I was something horrifying, or like he couldn't understand why this was happening to him. I guess that was what I wanted all along, but it bothered me. It's the kind of look people have right before they die.'

They watched him without interrupting. Finally Stark said:

'I still think you're an asshole. Carry on with the monologue, don't stop there. So what's it like beating the crap out of somebody who can't even hold up a fork?'

'Tony…' Natasha gave him a warning look.

'No, I genuinely wanna know. Because I can't believe you used to be my friend.'

'Shall I give you three you some privacy?' said Fury.

'Actually, don't bother, I'm leaving. I've had enough of people.'

'So what are you gonna do?'

'Honestly I dunno. But whatever it is, I'm gonna do it because it's the good thing to do. Not because it's right, not because it makes sense, not because it's advisable, but because it's _good_. Otherwise, what the hell are we?'

Tony didn't bother walking out, but flew, the receding roar of his jet-thrusters fading into the thrum of the Helicarrier.

'Agent Barton,' said Nick Fury, 'If I asked you to return to Stark Tower, would you be willing to do so?'

'I'd rather not go back there, sir,' said Barton, 'Stark was right about one thing: we don't have a team anymore.'

'Romanoff?'

'They might be willing to stay friends with me,' Natasha answered, 'I'll see what I can do to reintegrate myself.' Fury nodded, and he and Hill departed, leaving Barton and Romanoff standing alone. 'Hey.' She nudged his arm. 'What's done is done. There's no point beating yourself up.'

'I've lost all my friends, Nat.' He looked at her and she realised she hadn't hidden her revulsion during his account of what he had done. 'Even you.'


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: This chapter's a bit short and uneventful unfortunately. Lots and lots of thanks to 100 (**_**my 100th review! I counted and there are actually 113, but it only registers 100, strangely**_**), Guest, My-chan, Ynath Esrith, I'mAGeekNotANerd, Abandon-Morality, Guest, thegriffin88, oRnateclouDs, DaiKuro-chan, sequestration13, Dazja, oOo, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer (**_**technically my 100th?**_**), THORKISUPPORT, EvilConcubine, Guest and Miravisu for all your reviews. Also to my Fav'ers and Followers, and my best friend/beta Bomber x)**

Speech was painful for Loki, and the truth took a long time to come out of him. In bits and pieces of whispers, Thor was able to put together exactly what his brother had been put through, and for the first time, he sincerely regretted not having destroyed Barton when he had the chance.

Thor wished his brother would lash out at him, reject him, blame him for walking away, for failing to protect him – anything other than this total defeat and resignation. It seemed that Loki had been derailed from the road of mental recovery just as he was finding his feet on it. The last of his spark of defiance was visibly gone, and Thor questioned if it could be recovered.

'Thor…you're hurting my hand,' Loki mumbled, the movement of his face hindered behind all the gauze.

'I'm sorry.' He released Loki's fingers, which he had been grasping tightly. 'I'm so sorry.'

'I forgive you.'

'No, I'm sorry for it all. For everything. I was foolish to think that nobody would wish to do you harm. I thought my friendship alone would be enough to stay their hand. I placed my trust in the wrong people, and you paid the price for it.'

'It's funny,' Loki smiled unexpectedly – a bloodstained, painful smile.

'What is?'

'First me, then Agent Barton. Everyone you trust and fight alongside turns against you. You should stop trusting. And fighting.'

Fearing Loki was delirious, Thor bathed his forehead and shushed his further attempts at conversation.

'Thor,' Loki closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again, 'What I said…about you enjoying this. I didn't mean it. I know you would never do that to me. Promise me you won't give up on me, even when everyone else has. Promise me.'

'Of course. Of course,' Thor assured him. Looking at his brother's unhealthy skin and dry lips, Loki's dehydration worried him, and he wondered if it might not be contributing to his lethargy. 'Brother,' he said gently, 'Does it still hurt to swallow?'

'Not as much. But my throat's dry,' Loki complained faintly. It was his first voluntary admittance of thirst, and Thor's heart hurt even as it jumped, caught between pity and gladness.

'Here.' He fetched a cup of water from the nearby water-cooler, and helped Loki sit up. 'Drink slowly, brother.'

Loki took an experimental sip, and immediately regretted it, his every muscle reacting violently as his traumatised throat rejected the foreign liquid. He spat it out and coughed, but regained his composure, breathing heavily. After a few moments, he tried again cautiously. Patiently Thor waited. Loki drank deeply until the cup was empty, then abruptly vomited, the same water splattering on his lap. He stayed bent over, unwilling to look up and see Thor's face.

'I'll do it,' he promised desperately. Thor's heart dropped, and kept on falling. Putting down the cup, he placed a reassuring hand on the back of Loki's neck.

'Try again in a minute, brother. There's no rush,' he said kindly. Loki nodded. Thor fetched a folded towel and placed it on his brother's lap just in case, refilled the cup and they tried again until eventually, Loki managed to keep it down. 'Take a rest now. You've done a lot. You've been very strong.'

'I'm not strong,' Loki wiped his face, 'I'm weak. Not like you. _Never_ like you.'

Upstairs in the lab, Bruce and Steve were drinking endless cups of black coffee when they heard Tony's arrival on the roof, and the whirring and clanking of J.A.R.V.I.S. stripping away the Mark VII. Soon Stark entered, soaked from the rain.

'So how'd it go?' said Bruce.

'I kinda Hulked out,' said Tony heavily, 'Maybe Bruce should've come after all.'

'Will they leave Loki alone now?'

'Who knows? The ball's in their court. If they haven't changed their minds, they'll at least think twice about screwing with him now.'

'You did what you could,' said Steve. In the silence, both of them could almost feel the brooding presence of Thor downstairs, like looming clouds before the first break of thunder, reminding them that putting one foot wrong might cost them greatly.

'How is everyone?' said Stark. 'I miss anything?'

'Loki's maintained consciousness, which is a good sign,' replied Banner, 'I did some more scans and his cranium is completely fine – it's mostly just flesh wounds and they're healing already. Thor's still beating himself up for leaving him. It wasn't even his fault, poor guy.'

'Tony.' Rogers hesitated. 'Look, about Loki…have you considered that maybe we – '

'Not you too, Cap. Please.'

'I wasn't going to pull a Clint,' said Steve defensively, 'I was just going to say, I know this Tower's your crown jewel, but this might not be the safest place to keep Loki. It's in full view and if we're not careful his presence could become public knowledge. Maybe we should go underground.'

Tony sighed.

'If I could pack up Stark Tower in a suitcase and move to the Antarctic, I would. But I have a feeling it would take S.H.I.E.L.D. all of three seconds to sniff us out. Well, I'm outta here. I need a towel and a stiff drink.'


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: This chapter absolutely sucks. Sorry it took ages to write, my muse disappeared. Bomber helped me with the ending. Big thank you to NR, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, Guest, EvilConcubine, 118, THORKISUPPORT, Autumn, Potkanka, Aquarinus, Haruko-Mizumi, Guest, DarkSkyDepth and LokiLaufeyson12 for reviewing.**

Despite himself, Thor was tired. He hadn't slept since his last night on Asgard before he had come to Earth to snatch Loki from the quinjet, and he had barely even relaxed since the Chitauri invasion. Exhaustion was dimming his thoughts, making him tense and agitated, and he knew he needed rest. So that night, he pulled another gurney up beside Loki's, gathered together a heap of blankets and made a bed for himself. Loki watched him with trepidation.

'Are you going to sleep?' Loki's tone posed the real question: '_Are you going to let your guard down?_'

'I'll be between you and the door,' said Thor reassuringly. 'They'll have to pass me first to get to you, and I'll wake before that has a chance to happen.'

Slightly mollified, Loki nodded his head. Thor turned out the lights, and sat stroking Loki's hair soothingly for a while, making sure he was calm and settled, before going to bed himself. Shedding only his cape and outer armour, Thor lay down to rest. Within minutes of closing his eyes, he was fast asleep.

Loki was struggling to relax. His head ached, his body still hurt, the new bandages were uncomfortable, and even though he was rehydrated his hunger had become impossible to ignore. _Soon I'll have to eat_, he thought, and the idea turned his stomach. As he tried to relax, he imagined that he heard footsteps in the corridor outside. The tread was quiet but heavy – male.

Barton?

'_Thor_,' Loki whispered, trying to rouse his brother without alerting the presence in the corridor. '_Thor, wake up_.'

There was no response. Taking a deep breath to steel himself for movement, Loki pushed the covers away and manoeuvred himself upright.

Thor startled awake, eyes opening wide to the dark, deserted room. It was still night – he couldn't have slept for more than half an hour. He turned his head immediately towards Loki's bed, but couldn't make out if it was empty or occupied. As he listened closely for evidence of anything amiss, he realised the mattress was dipped slightly beneath an extra weight that was not his own. Something else was in the bed with him. Quickly he yanked the blankets away – only to reveal Loki hiding beside him. Uncovered, Loki lifted his head to stare silently up at him. His hair was all over the place. He did not speak.

'What are you doing here?' said Thor in alarm. 'Are you in pain?' His misgiving ebbed as he took in his brother's fearful expression, 'Can't you sleep? Did you have a nightmare?'

Loki nodded. He licked his dry lips furtively.

'I thought someone was in the room,' he whispered.

Thor stared at him, wondering how his trickster brother could have been reduced to this. Reaching out, he smoothed down Loki's hair, tucking the messy locks back into place, and couldn't help but smile ruefully.

'No-one and nothing will ever hurt you again. I promise. Come here.' He lifted the covers up invitingly. Loki shuffled nearer, and they settled in each other's arms. 'We've not done this since we were small,' Thor reminisced, 'Do you remember? Whenever you had a bad dream, you would come straight to my chambers. You would describe the monsters so convincingly I believed they were real.'

'You're wrong. I went to our parents first, but the All-Father told me to stop entertaining imaginary fears. So I came to you.' He placed a careful emphasis on "parents", falling just short of cynicism. Thor chose to let it go.

'Nightmares can't hurt you. They disappear with the morning light, and soon enough you'll stop having them altogether. Come, let's sleep.'

Loki didn't reply. Slipping into a comfortable doze, Thor felt, for the first time in a long time, that things might be alright.

He slept well and awoke to daylight. The brothers had moved apart in their sleep, and Loki was stretched out comfortably, his eyes closed. Thor was glad to see he was sleeping peacefully. Easing himself out of bed, Thor donned his usual garb and quietly left the medical bay, intending to fetch breakfast. In the corridor, he hovered.

'Jarvis?' he said hesitantly.

'**Good morning, Mr Odinson. How may I help you**?' replied the disembodied voice which Thor still felt unsure of, even though Son of Stark clearly trusted it with his life. It was so strange speaking aloud to something that wasn't there.

'Did anybody come near Loki last night while I wasn't there?'

'**No, sir. At least not to my knowledge. It seems Mr Laufeyon merely imagined a noise**.'

'Good. Thank you. Jarvis?'

'**Yes, sir?**'

'Loki is a son of Asgard as truly as I am. Remember that.'

'**Of course. My apologies, sir**.'

'That's...alright.' Thor headed downstairs to Stark Tower's main kitchen, where he found Stark and Banner already up and about. He greeted them with a nod. 'Loki managed to drink yesterday. He needs sustenance.'

'That's good news.' Stark began moving around the kitchen, putting together a small portion of food. 'How is he?'

'He sleeps soundly. But he had night terrors. He thought somebody had entered the room.'

'That was me,' said Bruce apologetically, 'I meant to check on you guys but changed my mind when I saw you were asleep. Sorry, I didn't mean to sneak about.'

'It's alright,' said Thor, relieved despite his disapproval.

'**Sir, Agent Romanoff has entered the tower and is heading this way**,' Jarvis interrupted. Thor stiffened.

'Just her?' said Tony quickly.

'**Yes, sir**.'

'Thor, you wanna let me handle this?' he asked.

Thor didn't reply, merely shaking his head, struggling to swallow his anger. Bruce took up an inconspicuous position at the table, settling down to watch, while Tony continued putting together Loki's breakfast. Just moments later, Natasha entered.

'Morning,' she said casually.

'This is a nice surprise,' Bruce replied with equal nonchalance. Romanoff didn't bother with further preamble; seating herself, she said:

'Look, I tried to talk Clint into coming back, but he refused. He figures you'll rip him apart the moment he steps through the door.'

'He'd be right,' said Tony casually, his glance sliding to Thor, who was barely containing himself. 'Loki's mental state is kind of a priority. What were you saying, Thor, just now? He was scared last night? Yeah, well, it was because of Clint. Jarvis, can you testify that?'

'**Indeed, sir. Mr Asgardson is not in the best state of mind**.'

'Clint's real cut up about it. Your little visit made sure of that. You're his only friends and he knows that's more important than following orders. Can any of you honestly say you've never done anything you've regretted?'

'I've done plenty of things I regret. Torture wasn't one of them. Here.' Thor handed a tray to Thor, who looked down at it sceptically. On it were a bowl of porridge, a pot of yoghurt, a bunch of grapes and a cup of herbal tea. The portions were small enough for a human child – nothing to an Asgardian adult, even a picky eater like Loki.

'Thor,' Natasha addressed him directly, 'I think you of all people understand responsibility. You did your duty when you put Loki in chains. Clint did what he felt was his duty when he continued to treat Loki as a threat.'

Thor concentrated on not clenching his hands into fists, fearing he would break the tray.

'I don't have time to discuss this,' he said with the merest hint of a snarl, 'I must be back at my brother's side before he wakes to find himself alone.'

Feeling their eyes on his back, he strode out. By the time he got back to the medical bay, Loki had already awoken, and was sitting up in bed, staring at nothing.

'Loki, I'm so sorry – '

'That woman's come back, hasn't she,' said Loki quietly, 'I asked the voice where you were and he told me who you were talking to…'

'Yes, she has.'

'Have you forgiven him? Her lover, I mean.'

'No. And I never shall. Some offences are unforgivable.'

'Like mine?'

'There's nothing to forgive, Loki.'

'But there is.' Loki didn't move as Thor placed the breakfast tray on his lap, guiding the former Liesmith's hands to the spoon. 'Sometimes things are clearer by the light of day, sometimes not. I still don't understand how you take me in your arms after I sank a knife into you. Twice. Since I got here, I've been trying to understand, but I can't.'

'Wounds heal.' He placed a hand on the left of Loki's chest, giving it a small rub. 'This will. In time.' Feeling there was nothing more to say, but unable to leave it there, Thor hesitated then pressed an innocent kiss to Loki's forehead. Loki looked up at him dully, but managed to summon a weak smile – more for Thor's sake than because he felt comforted.

Twenty minutes later, Tony tapped on the door of the medical bay before entering. Thor was already halfway on his feet, Mjölnir in hand, while behind him Loki was wide-eyed.

'Stark,' he said, lowering the hammer grudgingly, 'I warned you not to come down unannounced.' He drew the curtains shut around Loki's bed, shielding him from view.

'Sorry.'

'It is… not your fault.' Thor sighed quietly. He held onto the curtains for a moment longer, hands fisted in the fabric. Eventually he turned to face the Millionaire, eyes determinedly bypassing the soft blue glow on his chest that always seemed to ask his attention. 'I know you hold no ill will toward my brother. It is just… difficult to-'

'Trust?' It was a horrible thing to suggest that he did not hold Tony's friendship in such high regard as to trust him. But then, Tony didn't seem particularly concerned as he said it, shoulders hunching in a bird-shrug that was almost dismissive. 'Don't sweat it. I'm a big boy. I know how these things work. He is your brother, and if we're being honest, I _have _tried to kill him before.'

'That… does not reassure me.'

'No?' Tony asked. It wasn't often that he backtracked to smooth out wrinkles he might have caused in a conversation. Usually he just said the words and let them stick wherever they may. But this was different. He was trying to console the God. 'Back when Loki was attempting to destroy civilization as we – or I – knew it?'

'Ah,' Thor said, brow unfurrowing as he cottoned on to what Tony meant. 'I understand… But that was not your fault either, my friend. At the time Loki's transgression was somewhat deserving of that reaction…'

'I wouldn't say-'

'It was.'

The voice was hoarse and scratchy, sounding almost timid as it cut Tony off mid-sentence Metal rings scraped across metal as the curtain Thor had hastened to shut earlier was pulled back. Loki stood in the opening – a thin, pale statue, dark eyes cautious and mistrusting. Thor started as though to usher him back out of sight, but Loki refused to move away.

'No, brother. Son of Stark took me in and offered me safety beyond which I deserved. The least I could do is offer him an explanation.'

'I grew up with the belief that I was part of a family, and the expectation...the hope...that I would be king one day. Then suddenly that hope was dashed and I no longer knew what my place in the universe or my point for existing was. I was lost and directionless. But my heart mended itself, and hardened, and I decided that I would take by force what had been denied me - my right to power. Earth seemed the best target.'

Loki wavered, glancing for a second at the silent Thor, who had not attempted to interrupt him. In that space, Tony moved closer; and before Loki could withdraw, Tony placed a hand on his shoulder, giving him a pat. He seemed about to speak but unable to choose words, then abruptly pulled Loki into an awkward half-hug that took everybody off guard. Tony let go as if Loki were red-hot.

'I don't blame children for their parents' mistakes.' He said finally, running a hand through his hair as regarded the two before him. Thor seemed tense and Loki wary, but neither had perceived Tony's actions as a threat. In fact, the way they were watching him was almost… _acceptance_. Clearing his throat, Tony decided it was about time to leave.

'I came in to tell you I've restricted Natasha's access to the lower levels. If she tries to get up here, JARVIS will let everyone in a twelve mile radius know about it.'

'Thank you, Tony.' Thor murmured.

Tony nodded once and went for the door. 'My pleasure.'

It was as he was closing the door, the latch centimeters from the lock that the second biggest shock he'd get that day resonated through him.

'… Thank you, Tony.' Loki said softly.

Tony nodded again, jerkily, and then turned and left. The door snapped shut behind him.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Thanks to each of you – EvilConcubine, Guest, THORKISUPPORT, Dazja, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, oOo, My-chan, DarkSkyDepth, Autumn (twice! xD), Aquarinus, Haruko-Mizumi, Solara, Potkanka and Guest – as well as Fav'ers, Followers and my awesome Bomber.**

Loki's attempt at eating breakfast bordered on a disaster. He managed the liquids successfully, before his endeavour to down solid food brought it all back up. Thor hadn't the heart to make him go through it again, so instead coaxed him into drinking some water to wash it down.

On the plus side, for the first time in eight days, Loki ventured out of the medical bay. Once he'd taken a few steps around, he was determined to push himself further and familiarise himself with the building.

'You can spend some time with the others,' Thor suggested as he helped his brother put on borrowed clothes. Loki still lacked the energy to magic up his own garb consistently, so had swapped his hospital gown for Bruce's shirt, Tony's cargo shorts and Steve's trainers.

'You really think they'd want me around them? Unless you shadow me every step I take to make sure I don't wreak havoc...'

'They trust you,' Thor assured him, 'Come, there's a room not far from here where we can sit...'

Loki allowed himself to be led. The sleek Midgardian architecture and furnishings, the white lighting and shaded windows, a marriage of lavishness and economy, were certainly eye-pleasing but still alien to him. There didn't seem to much logic to the order of rooms and levels; the medical bay shared its floor with random empty halls whose only function was to look appealing, several guest bedrooms, and a recreation room where Stark and Rogers were currently relaxing.

'What should I say?' Loki asked abruptly as they neared the door.

'You needn't speak to them if you don't want to. Just try to be...friendly. But yourself.'

Loki tried not to snort. Tony caught sight of them, and visibly suppressed his reaction.

'Hey. Out for a stroll?' he said mildly.

'Tedium was taking its toll on both of us,' Thor replied as he guided Loki to one of the sofas.

'Here, these should pass the time,' said Steve as he dumped on the coffee-table a stack of the thickest books he could find. 'I've been putting these togethers...He lent them to me, saying he doesn't read them...' He jabbed a thumb to indicate Tony.

'Feel free to keep them indefinitely,' Stark confirmed.

Upon examination, the printed texts were decidedly less interesting than the exquisitely illuminated manuscripts found in Asgardian libraries; nevertheless, Loki felt grateful. He couldn't bring himself to say it, so he made a show of flicking through the books with curiosity. The first was a dictionary. What need had he of learning? He spoke the All-Tongue. The next book was an anthology of Greek tragedy. He read it cover-to-cover.

The four of them sat in companionable silence, broken only by occasional smatters of conversation between Tony and Thor. Loki's sense of exclusion was unavoidable; sitting here in these strange Midgardian clothes, he couldn't help but feel alien. Unexpectedly, Doctor Banner entered.

'Uh, Thor. Visitor for you.'

'What?' Thor straightened up. 'Who would come to see me?'

'Go see for yourself. They're waiting for you in the lobby. Or they might have followed me, I don't know – they were pretty eager.'

Leaving his brother's side, Odinson exited. Loki noticed the humans exchange a glance that was somehow amused or pleased. Sheer curiosity was too much to resist; rising unaided, he left the recreation room and followed Thor. Turning a corner, he lost sight of him, but a few moments later heard his voice exclaim:

'Jane!'

Loki crept to the end of the corridor in time to see his brother in mid-kiss. It was that woman; it must be. She had a sweet voice and her face shone. It was plain why he was so taken with her. Loki had known Thor to favour many Asgardian maidens throughout his life, some for a century and some only for a day, but never so strongly or persistently as he did this mortal.

An odd emotion came over Loki, partway between the cynicism of seeing his brother in love and the guilt of an accidental intruder. Knowing his presence was unwanted, he withdrew unseen and returned to his seat; but without Thor here to bridge the gap between him and the other Avengers, the silence was uncomfortable. He pushed down his niggling resentment at being forgotten so quickly, telling himself it was only Thor's tactless nature as usual.

Thinking to coax Loki into activity, Stark wandered over.

'You guys have indoor sports on Asgard?' he asked.

'A few of note,' Loki answered absently, 'Eating contests, racquet sports, archery. Knife-throwing was the only one I cared for.'

'Right.' Tony was slightly discouraged at the prospect of Loki flinging sharp objects around inside Stark Tower. 'You ever tried team games? Basketball?'

'Please don't feel the need to educate me. I've been to this world many times before throughout the ages and gotten more than a taste of Midgardian ways.'

'So you've played basketball before?'

'No.' Uncomfortable at being pressed into conversation, Loki gave an apologetic head-shake as if to excuse himself, and left in rather a hurry.

'Don't push him to make friends. It'll take a while,' said Steve from his corner.

'I guess it's just as well. My floor's seen enough damage without demigods learning how to slam-dunk.'

Loki started making his way back to the refuge of the medical bay, and as he did so realised how weary he was; he had over-exerted himself. Thinking to stop for a minute until he got his strength back, Loki lowered himself into a sitting position on the floor and rested there. A soft approaching footstep interrupted him. He pulled his legs to give whoever it was room to pass by, but when the footsteps stopped beside him, he looked up.

Agent Barton.

Total paralysis seemed to trap Loki in place. Part of his brain screamed at him to fight, run, call for help, but all he could do was sit staring wide-eyed and open-mouthed. Clint reached down, grasped his arm and pulled him to his feet.

'Y'alright?' asked the archer. Loki stared down at the shorter man. 'Take it easy, I didn't come for trouble. I know I'm not the Number One guy you want to see right now, but I thought I'd – '

Loki found the magic. Terror gave him the strength to conjure a dagger, and he slashed at Clint; when the archer evaded, Loki turned tail and ran as fast as his body would allow. His heart was beating as fast as a rabbit's trapped in its burrow, and his breath puffed in and out of him, rapid and shallow. Where was Thor? He promised he would be here when needed. The knife was gripped so tight in his fist he thought it might break; his only weapon, but it was a flimsy thing, useless.

'Loki, what's the matter?' A voice made Loki shrink back. 'What's wrong?' Banner, the monster who had beaten him into defeat. In panic, Loki fled the other way. 'Hey, are you okay? Loki!'

He had to get out, but the stairs and corridors of this tower seemed suddenly endless, a maze with no escape.

_Thor promised._

_He promised._

_He lied._

_Did you really trust him?_ the sneer came from nowhere – from inside him – and he could no longer make out the line between his own voice and the voice of his nightmares. _Did you really think he would forgive you? Did you honestly believe your pitiful ruin of a life was salvageable? You are alone, always have been and forever will be._

'Jane!' The God of Thunder's heart seemed to soar the instant he saw her. She was in his embrace before he could say another word, and his gladness was dampened by a sudden regret. He had been so preoccupied while on Earth – first with the Chitauri, then with Loki, all with S.H.I.E.L.D. shadowing them – no time had been left for himself and Jane.

'I'm so sorry it took this long. I've missed you. You are well?'

'I'm fine. They wouldn't tell me anything. They tried keep me busy at Traunsee so I wouldn't have time to hear the news, but then I found out. All I could do was sit there and watch the battle.' She pulled back and looked up at him. 'But what happened to you? I thought you went back home for good.'

'That was the plan. But moments after we left Earth, we were diverted by the enemy.' Thor hesitated. 'I was sent back alive, but Loki was kept. And tortured. I've been caring for him as best I can, and so have my good friends. He is on the mend, but he still has a lot of healing to do.'

'Your _brother_? You mean he's here?'

'Yes. It hasn't been easy, but it's his only refuge until my father can open a gateway.' A thought struck him. 'I should introduce you two. Loki appreciates cleverness, I think he would like you very much. He needs friends right now.'

'You reckon we can be friends?' she said sceptically.

'My brother is not dangerous, I assure you.'

'Well, then I'd like to meet him. I just hope he likes hearing about astrophysics, because I'm not the best conversationalist.'

'I'll take you to him now. You've met my friends on the way in, I assume?'

'Doctor Banner was kind enough to show me in. I'd heard so much about from Eric, actually meeting him was unreal,' she replied as they began to walk. 'Everyone with a television knows Tony Stark. Oh, and Clint Barton was the one who told me where I could find you. He even gave me a lift!'

'Barton?' Thor slowed, and his arm around her halted her as well.

'Sure! He came here with me. He said something me being his free access pass, I think it was a joke, I wasn't really listening. You know, Darcy's gone back to college – '

Her eyes moved to something behind him. Glancing around, Thor was just in time to see Loki fling the dagger at him. The blade spun through the air but missed, flying past his shoulder instead. For a second he was frozen, snared between self-defence and restraint; seeing the wild look on Loki's face and realising his brother was not in the right mind, he chose the latter. He turned back to see Jane, suddenly blank-eyed, staring down at the throwing-knife now embedded up to its handle in her chest.

Everything seemed to drop away, and fall endlessly into white silence.

'No.' Thor caught Jane Foster as she crumpled, and lowered her to the ground as carefully as he could. Her eyes found his – she opened her mouth to speak, but all that came out was blood. 'No, no, no.' Thor's hands wavered frantically over the knife, not knowing whether to pull it out or leave it alone. 'Jane, stay awake. Please try to stay awake.'

Behind them, Loki was staring in shock.

'Jane, don't. Don't. I love you.'

Jane's gaze was losing focus. She gave one or two small smiles, and shook her head slightly as if to tell him not to worry about it; then she closed her eyes, and a few moments later she went still and silent. She was dead.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Lots and lots of thanks to msgone, fra, Singer Salvage, THORKISUPPORT, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, Guest, Aquarinus, EvilConcubine, oOo, Guest, Autumn, thegriffin88, Dazja, Guest, Alice Nightray, Haruko-Mizumi, My-chan, Potkanka, darkshadowarchfiend, Guest, DarkSkyDepth, EveRain, sol goddess, ratchetsfangirl, LP-Legolin, Lina-DH and Guest for your reviews. I think that's the most I've gotten for one chapter xoD!**

It took a while for Thor to realise it was hopeless. Jane's blood was on his hands, cooling inside her. Her mouth – so recently smiling – was limp. Her eyes were closed and would not open again. Thor was on his knees. He had almost forgotten Loki was present. Right now, Loki didn't matter. _Nothing_ mattered, because Jane was lying dead on the floor.

'Brother...' Loki didn't know what to say.

It was a mistake to speak. Hearing the voice of Jane's killer, Thor rose to his feet, his vision blurred through brimming eyes, unable to see beyond the image of Jane's final, bloodstained smile.

'Why? Why did you kill her?'

His bloodstained hands closed around Loki's throat and slammed him against the wall hard enough to crack the concrete. Another dagger appeared in Loki's hand, but Thor slammed it aside, not caring that he cut his hand in the process. Dazed, Loki struggled, but Thor was bigger and so much stronger.

'_Why_? Why did you do it? Was it a lie?' His shouting made Loki cringe. 'All of it, the frailty, the penitence, was it all a lie? Another deception?'

Loki was shaking his head wildly when he was torn from Thor's grip. Dimly, through a fog of rage and pain, Thor realised the Hulk was pinning him down, and Stark in his full Iron Man armour was restraining Loki from trying to run away. J.A.R.V.I.S. must have raised the alarm, because they were all here, all of them, even Barton, crowding around. Captain Rogers and Agent Romanoff were kneeling beside Jane, checking for life, and it showed in their faces that they found none.

'Thor, please calm down – '

'He killed her! He killed her!' Thor had not realised until now that he was crying. Numb tears were falling down his unfeeling face. 'I thought you were my brother! You're not! You're nothing!'

Nobody came to Loki's defence. As it appeared, Loki had just murdered Jane Foster. Not releasing his grip on the God of Mischief, Iron Man suddenly caught sight of Barton and literally pointed at him.

'What the hell is he doing here? Who let him in? Jarvis, did you let him in?'

'**No, sir**.'

Hawkeye put his hands up.

'Look, I screwed up, okay? I figured you would never let me visit Loki, so I might as well just take the initiative, come by and straighten things out between us myself. I knew he'd be spooked but I didn't know he'd freak out like this – '

'Don't bullshit me,' snapped Iron Man, 'You came here for round two, didn't you?'

'Do you really think I meant for her to die?'

'You tell me! It was your amazing plan. Who the hell let you in?'

There was a ringing silence. Banner had finally released his hold on Thor and was shrinking back down to his normal size; kneeling beside the dead body on the floor, his voice was barely audible as he said:

'I did.'

Steve seemed to slump, and Natasha dropped her gaze.

'He showed up...with Jane. He said he'd managed to convince S.H.I.E.L.D. to let Jane contact Thor, and he hoped it would be a step towards reconciliation,' the doctor continued quietly, 'What could I do? Leave him waiting in the street? I let him inside, then told him to stay put...'

'Bruce...' Natasha trailed off hopelessly.

'It was your fault,' Thor slurred.

'It was nobody's fault,' said Iron Man sharply. 'Nobody meant for this to happen. Don't lose sight of that.'

Unable to meet Thor's gaze, Bruce uselessly took Jane's hand. It was already going stiff.

'Can you help her?' Thor asked hopelessly. The doctor looked at the others as if hoping one of them would say No for him; then he wordlessly shook his head. 'But she was alive just now. There must be something you can do.' Suddenly he yelled: '_Do something!_'

Banner was at a loss. During the distraction, Loki had started to edge out of sight behind Stark. Spotting him, Thor staggered blindly towards him with a lurch.

'_You_,' he uttered heavily. Loki watched him coming with dread. 'I trusted you. I loved you. But you betrayed me.'

'Thor. Please come away,' said Natasha gently.

'But why did you kill her? You didn't have to kill her,' Thor was bewildered now, broken. 'Why did you do it? To hurt me? You could've just hurt me instead. You didn't have to kill her.'

'I didn't meant to. I didn't mean to, Thor, I didn't – '

'There was no reason to kill her. She did nothing to you.'

Unable to deal with what was happening, Loki was now sitting curled up on himself, shaking with either silent sobs or pure fright.

'Thor,' said Bruce quietly, 'Loki's not to blame here. Okay? Don't do or say anything you might come to regret.'

Thor stopped in his tracks, and as he did so realised he was still gripping Mjölnir. What use was this weapon in his hand? It had let him down in the end. By reaching out his hand, he could have saved Jane from death, but he had failed. Thor flung the hammer away with a resonating thud.

'But Father...he must know a way to bring her back...'

'How?' said Loki softly, lifting his head slightly from his hands. 'We cannot even get home.'

Reality seemed to hit Thor. Leaving Mjölnir, he sank back down beside Jane's body and cradled it. Like a great wounded beast, none of them dared disturb him.

'What do we do now?' said Bruce.

'First, find out if she has a family,' Steve began.

'No.' Iron Man swallowed past the knot in his throat, and shook his head, suddenly glad for the mask that hid his face. 'Tell S.H.I.E.L.D. and let them come up with an alibi. Something other than an extraterrestrial war criminal committing manslaughter while being housed in the Avengers' base. They can deal with it.'

Rogers was staring at him as if he were a total stranger.

'And then what?' asked Romanoff.

'I don't know.' Iron Man made an aimless gesture. 'I don't know anymore. Let's just...let's just...' But he couldn't supply the rest of the sentence.

'Keep a level head,' she finished for him.

'That's a start.'

'I'll leave,' said Hawkeye.

'No. You damn well stay. You help clean up this mess you've made,' snapped Rogers.

'I'll sort out Loki, then I'll come back down,' said Banner carefully. He placed a firm hand on Loki's back, both authoritative and reassuring, and guided him away. Nobody tried to stop them. Loki's legs were on the verge of giving out from exhaustion, and the doctor feared they wouldn't make it to the medical bay, but in the end they did.

Right now, Loki frightened him. Bruce had never been fazed by the trickster's sneers and schemes, being more concerned with controlling his own inner monster – but as Loki sat frozen and unresisting on the edge of the gurney, noiseless and staring, Banner was afraid. He wondered if this was Loki's way of going into shock. Being overwhelmed, at wits' end, with no way out – that was something Banner could sympathise with.

Loki barely noticed the doctor's gloved hands gliding over him, checking his bandages were still intact and his scars had not re-opened. Part of him realised he trusted Banner. The healer had been kind to him despite having no obligation to be. Stark did too, but only from self-pity, nursing Loki's injuries as if they were his own. Rogers and Romanoff tolerated him but only as a prisoner of war. Thor had cared for him, but only from familial responsibility.

His thoughts turning to Thor caused Loki's trembling to resume. Banner draped a shock blanket around him and leaned down a little to eye-level to say:

'Everything will be fine in the end. Alright?'

Loki didn't respond, his face empty. Bruce straightened back up. It bothered him somehow, the way Loki had run in fear at the mere sight of him. As if he were truly a monster. Just as Banner was turning away, Loki finally spoke.

'I didn't mean to kill her. You know that, don't you?'

'Yes.'

'Truly?'

'Yes. Truly.'


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Another chapter of people talkin'. Thank you to ratchetsfangirl, DaiKuro-chan, The Pearl Maiden, My-chan, Guest, thegriffin88, Haruko-Mizumi, oOo, EvilConcubine, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, Guest, Aquarinus, THORKISUPPORT, DarkSkyDepth, reasons for insanity, Guest, Guest, Autumn and Potkanka for your reviews, and also to my beta Bomber *squishes*.**

A soft tap on the door of the medical bay preceded Tony Stark's entrance. Banner didn't hear it at first over the sound of foaming water as he washed his hands. He had just finished cleaning the blood off Jane's wound. Her body – now that they had finally managed to separate it from Thor's embrace – was in a secluded room, laid out as carefully and neatly as possible, to await transport elsewhere. It was probably the grimmest task Bruce had ever had to perform.

'Hey,' he greeted the billionaire wearily. In the room behind them, through a glass window, they could see Loki still sitting brokenly in a hospital gown.

'Hey. How are you holding up?' Tony asked as they moved further out of Loki's earshot. 'Here, this is for you and that's for him.' Stark was holding two mugs of hot chocolate, and he offered one to Banner, gesturing with the other one towards Loki. Bruce accepted and took a sip. 'You look like hell. Are you okay?'

'I'm fine. Really. How is everybody?'

'Steve's with Thor. Nat's taken Clint aside for a little chat.'

There was a pause as Banner drank and Stark brooded.

'How's Thor?' Bruce ventured, keeping his voice low.

'He's stopped speaking to anyone.'

'Does he need treatment?'

'No idea. I've never seen him this _calm_ before. Somehow I don't think it'll last.' By now, Loki's head had turned towards the sound of their hushed voices, and he was watching them through the window. Tony glanced at him. 'Uh, I guess this isn't the best time for visitors. I'll leave now. Give me a shout if you need anything, okay?'

He patted the doctor's shoulder, nodded and departed. Bruce entered Loki's room and proferred the hot chocolate.

'What is it?'

'Chocolate. In drink form.'

He almost expected Loki to not respond, but Loki took the drink with surprising willingness, as if he didn't have the willpower to be uncooperative.

'It's sweet,' he acknowledged, and cupped the mug in both hands as if to warm them. 'Where's Thor?'

'Still downstairs. Why? Do you want me to go get him?'

'No. I just wondered. I was sure he would've left.'

'He wouldn't leave you.'

'He was ready to kill me.' Loki's voice trailed away into an almost inaudible whisper. 'He promised to...not give up on me, but that was _before_. Now his promises are erased. Just empty words.'

Banner hesitated, his honest but inoffensive nature at war with itself, then replied truthfully:

'Thor _is_ angry right now. But he doesn't hate you, believe me. He's just having a very rough patch. Give him time.'

'All the time in the world couldn't soften the blow I dealt him.'

'I bet you've felt that way about him more than once, huh? But you still love him too.'

Loki didn't answer, his eyelids starting to close. He was becoming drowsy all of a sudden. Assuming it was mere fatigue, Bruce helped him lie down, and covered him with the blanket.

'Take a nap, okay? I'll be right here.'

'**Sorry to interrupt, Doctor Banner**,' J.A.R.V.I.S. broke in, '**But Mr Stark needs you in his laboratory**.'

'Tell him I'm sorry but I can't come.'

'**I'm afraid it's extremely urgent**.'

'Fine,' Bruce sighed, 'I'll be there in a moment. But this better be good.'

After making sure Loki was fully asleep, Banner hurried off. The moment he was gone, Iron Man entered. The Mark VIII was truly a crown jewel in the collection, burgundy taking a back-seat to make way for generous amounts of gold.

'Thank you, Jarvis,' he muttered as he did jammed a bobcap onto Loki's head, pulling it down over his ears to keep them warm, and a pair of gloves onto Loki's hands.

'**That's quite alright, sir**.'

Wrapping the unconscious God up in the blanket he was lying on, then adding another blanket for warmth, he picked Loki up. Less than half a minute later, the roar of mini jet-thrusters and a brief trail of brightness in the sky signalled their departure. Iron Man had left Stark Tower, and taken Loki with him.

'Thor?' Steve said tentatively, unsure of whether to approach. The God of Thunder was sitting quite calmly, back straight and gaze straight ahead. Rogers didn't believe for a moment that he was inwardly composed. 'Are you...okay?'

Thor gave himself a little shake.

'I'm sorry, I didn't hear you,' was all he said before lapsing back into catatonia.

'The woman I loved is dead too,' said Steve. Saying it out loud for the first time made him fall temporarily silent, as if the truth of his loss was somehow cemented by acknowledgement. After a moment's struggle, he continued, 'But I'm still here, so I have to keep on going. You know? Because that's all I have to give.'

'You're fortunate, Captain, that you don't have a shred of doubt in you. You are so _sure_ of what truly matters. I always knew what was most important to me – Asgard, honour, justice, integrity, the defence of the weak...but above all, family. My father, my mother...and my brother. My most constant companion.'

Steve came further into the room, not interrupting.

'I always defended Loki, you know. I knew he wasn't as strong or as beloved as I was, and even in my youthful stupidity and arrogance I still wanted him to be safe – as any older brother would. I protected him as much as his pride would allow...took a spear for him in one of our countless battles...even shouldered the brunt of my father's wrath when we got in trouble once as children. But I didn't protect him from others' whispered taunts, or from himself...or from me.'

Thor's hands clenched on his knees. Rogers listened uncomfortably.

'And when I found out he was not truly my brother by blood – that he belonged to a race which we had been brought up to believe were monsters – nothing changed. I still loved him. That never wavered, no matter what he did, no matter how much he tried to push me away.' Thor swallowed to moisten his dry mouth. 'Now that's all gone. As if it had never happened in the first place. Jane is dead and nothing else seems to matter.'

'Thor, what happened to Jane...it was an accident.'

'Are you saying her blood is on my hands because the blade was meant for me?'

Cap's heart dropped as he realised what he had insinuated.

'No – no, of course not. There was nothing you could've – '

'Because you don't need to tell me, Rogers. I already blame myself.'

'Thor,' said Steve more sharply than he intended, 'You can't think like that. Ever. Jane wouldn't want you to be blaming yourself, believe me. Loki might not have many qualms about hurting other people, but this time he was acting out of paranoia and fear, not – '

'I'll never see her smile again, Captain.'

Silence filled the room and Steve struggled to find words to break it.

'Look, I'm not pretending I know your family as well as you do, but from what I hear Loki had nothing left to keep him going but ambition, a grudge, and you. And now we've all made absolutely sure he doesn't even have those.'

Thor didn't answer, still fixated on his fists in his lap.

'He needs you. You might not want him, and he might not want you, but you're all he's got. You're the last bit of _home_ he has left, and even if it's only subconscious, he's clinging to you like a lifeline. Do you see? So either you can leave him to carry on his downhill slide, or you can turn your back on him. It's your call.'

Thor's voice was surprisingly subdued.

'I cannot forgive him.' The Thunder God took a deep breath, held it for a few seconds and then sighed it out, relaxing his hands. 'I may do my duty as Prince and brother, and ensure Loki returns home. I may even treat him with kindness. But I cannot, and will not, forgive him.'

'Well,' said Steve after a brief pause, realising he had pushed it too far, 'Do whatever you feel is right, nobody here will judge you for it, everyone understands. Just make sure you don't regret it later.'

Bruce appeared in the open doorway. His reading-glasses were in his hands and he was fiddling them uneasily.

'Guys...can I come in?'

Thor looked up, and after a long moment of tension, nodded. Banner entered, opening his mouth to speak, but Thor spoke before he could.

'How is Loki?'

'Uh...where do I begin...'

'Did the archer harm him?'

'No, no, he didn't. And he won't, either.'

'I must go and speak to Loki.' Thor had risen and was already walking unsteadily away. 'Only he can tell me what wasgong through his head.'

'Uh, Thor, Loki's gone. And so is Tony.'


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Lots of thanks to EvilConcubine, Aquarinus, Guest, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, THORKISUPPORT, Guest, Guest, Potkanka, The Pearl Maiden, My-chan, Haruko-Mizumi (**_**did you predict correctly? xD**_**), ratchetsfangirl (**_**200th review! or 187th**_**), , TheCresantMoonWolf, jacquelinelittle, Constance Bonacieux, Guest, DaiKuro-chan, Autumn, msgone, Guest and Limmet (**_**thanks!**_**) for commenting! :o)**

For the first time in an age, Loki woke feeling well-rested, drifting peacefully to the surface of consciousness. The pillows under his head seemed softer than usual, and the covers heavier. Opening his eyes, he was confronted by an unfamiliar room, all high airy ceilings and smooth curved surfaces. Not the medical bay.

Loki sat up so fast his abdominal muscles ached, backing up until he was pressed against the pillow. He was in a large bed in a comfortable bedroom. The windows were ajar to admit the smell of saltwater. Floor-length transparent curtains swayed and fluttered in an early morning breeze, and through the sheer fabric an ocean was visible. He was in a clifftop mansion, and no longer in Stark Tower.

'Doctor?' he called, but he was alone. He began to call for his brother before remembering that even if Thor could hear, he would not come. Instead, his response came from the disembodied voice which seemed to be under the control of Stark. It spoke from nowhere, making him jump.

'**Good morning, sir. I have a message from Mr Stark. He would like you to know that you are in a safe place, are with a friend and have nothing to fear. Also that you should feel free to use his property as your own, albeit with minimal damage. If you wish to speak with him, you will find him downstairs**.'

'What does he want with me?' he asked, but the A.I. was now silent. Loki didn't move for a long time, listening to the slow crash of the surf, until it became clear that he was not in danger. Then he rose. On the table were a jug of water and a bowl of fruit, and laid out on a chair were clothes. For him. He didn't dare touch them.

The door was not locked, and no alarms sounded as he opened it and ventured out. Closing it behind him, he was disconcerted to see that the suite he had just come out of was not visible from the outside – with the door closed, the wall was a smooth expanse of glass screen displaying a pretty woodland vista. Hesitantly he touched the wall, and the scene shifted to a green sea of grass rippling in a summer breeze.

Loki hesitated at the top of a spiral staircase, looking down. This was a house built for luxury but not for privacy. Instead of solid walls, most of the rooms were separated by floor-to-ceiling interior windows, and the open-plan layout left nowhere for him to hide. Knowing concealment was impossible, Loki headed down the stairs without quieting his footsteps.

'Morning,' Stark greeted him before he'd even come into view. 'Sorry I had to spike your drink. It seemed the easiest option.' The human was standing in a glossy kitchen area, cracking eggs into a bowl and beating them with a whisk. 'Feel free to take a seat.'

Loki reached the foot of the stairs and hesitated, before approaching.

'Where is this?'

'The Pacific Coast, if that means anything to you. Malibu, California, to be precise.'

'But where are your friends?'

'Not here.' Tony gave a brittle smile. 'I thought it'd best to remove you from society for a while. You can stay here until...things boil over.'

'You would stand against them?'

'Only if absolutely necessary. I'd much rather not be in this situation at all, quite frankly...'

'And you'd do it for _my_ sake?'

'It's as much for Thor's as for yours. He's got enough on his conscience without hurting his brother.'

'You will not be able to deal with Thor.'

'I've fought him once. Admittedly I didn't win, but I can do it again.'

Loki shook his head.

'Mine is the kind of anger which festers for an age before revealing itself, but _Thor_...Normally my brother is incapable of sustaining a grudge, and forgets offences almost as soon as they are committed. To see him truly enraged is...unnerving.'

'Are you frightened of him?'

Loki didn't reply, instead moving to the window to look out across the clifftop. An artificial waterfall crashed over a ledge and into the sea, reminding Loki painfully of the borders of Asgard. Impassable to him now. Without Thor, he could never go home, not even as a shackled prisoner.

'You have a beautiful home,' he said.

'I know. It's one of my babies.'

The gentle sizzle of oil in a frying-pan filled the silence. Loki abruptly turned away from the window with a strangely earnest look.

'I've gotten better,' he reminded Tony. 'I'm not as weak as I was when I first arrived. Soon I'll be a threat.'

Stark glanced appraisingly at Loki's bruised, hollow face and baggy hospital gown.

'We'll see.' He flipped the pancakes over and scooped them out onto a plate. 'You hungry?'

'A little.' Loki trailed off, recalling Thor's failed attempts to feed him yesterday morning. He had stroked Loki's sweaty hair back from his forehead and muttered comfortingly in his ear, neither of them knowing that in a few hours' time everything would fall apart. 'I'd rather take breakfast alone, if you have no objections.'

'Sure thing.' He slid the plate across the kitchen-top towards Loki, who hesitated before picking it up.

'Thank you. For your hospitality.'

'No...problem.'

Stark watched him go before turning his attention elsewhere. He enjoyed a peaceful morning. He made two phonecalls to Pepper (currently away on business) and some minor tweaks to his new suit. While he was welding in the downstairs laboratory and chatting with J.A.R.V.I.S., the A.I. informed him:

'**S.H.I.E.L.D. are currently tracing you, sir**.'

Tony waved a hand.

'Let 'em come. I'll be ready.'

'**Also, Agent Romanoff persists in attempting to contact you**.'

'Disconnect the phone. I'm not in the mood for people today.'

'**Alright, sir**.' After a pause, J.A.R.V.I.S. spoke again.'**Sir, I thought you might like to know that your guest has been in the shower** – '

'Believe me, I _didn't_.'

' – **for nearly thirty minutes**.'

Tony faltered.

'Shit.'

Suicide was the first thing that flashed through his mind, but surely Loki would choose the bath for that. He took the spiral steps two at a time, shedding his gloves and protective visor along the way, and arrived to find Loki's pancakes sitting cold and untouched on the table. Bursting into the guest suite's bathroom, he immediately felt a chill radiating from the shower stand. Loki hadn't drawn the shower-curtain, and through the warped glass he could see the trickster's silhouette sitting motionless in the pattering water. To his relief, there was no blood visible.

'Loki?' Tony opened the shower door, and flinched as the droplets hit him. The water was _freezing_. 'Jesus – !' With a darting movement he turned off the shower, his instinctive cold-shower joke dying as Loki raised his head. The hospital gown clung to his gaunt body. He looked like he was about to cry.

'Make it stop.'

'Make what stop? What's hurting you?'

'I want it to end. Make it stop.'

Realising what Loki was asking, Tony stood back abruptly.

'Not a chance. People love you and you deserve to live. Don't say shit like that, don't – '

'I didn't mean to kill her. I didn't mean for it to happen, I would never do that to Thor. I threatened to hurt her once but it was only to anger him. I would never kill someone so precious to him.'

Tony stepped into the shower to crouch beside him, his shoes almost slipping on the tiled floor and his breath forming a puff of vapour in the air.

'Your brother still loves the crap out of you, he's just angry. It'll straighten out eventually, trust me.'

'I can't cope anymore. I tried so hard to, I really did, but I can't cope. Now he'll never forgive me.'

Tony didn't know what to do. He could've handled snide bitterness or incoherent rage, but not this.

'Come on, dude, don't do this to me,' he muttered, realising his arms were now around Loki's shivering torso. Grateful Loki wasn't naked, he pulled the god's head into his chest and held him until warmth had returned to him. 'Okay, let's go get you some dry clothes before you catch a cold, yeah?'

He tried to pull the frail god to his feet, but instead Loki leaned away from him, pressing himself to the icy tiles. Tony grabbed a pile of towels from the cupboard and draped them around Loki's shoulders, practically burying him. Then he fetched the clothes from the bedroom and hung them on the rail above Loki's head where he could reach them.

'I'll be right outside. Okay?'

Backing out of the bathroom and closing the door, he sat down on the carpet just outside and waited, listening to Loki's deterioration as the ragged breathing broke down into quiet, stifled sobs.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Loads of thanks to reviewers Constance Bonacieux (**_**sorry! ;D**_**), Haruko-Mizumi, Potkanka, ratchetsfangirl, TheCresantMoonWolf, Dazja, jacquelinelittle, , Autumn, My-chan, THORKISUPPORT, EvilConcubine, Guest, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, Aquarinus, DarkSkyDepth, The Pearl Maiden and I'mAGeekNotANerd, as well as my new Fav'ers and Followers! :o)**

'They're in Malibu,' Agent Hill reported as she entered the Helicarrier's briefing room, 'We've been unable to hack the mansion's security system, but from what we can glean, both Loki and Tony are alive and well.'

'For how much longer? Loki and Stark – that combination's a time-bomb,' Fury folded his arms, leaning back in his chair, and glanced sideways at the silent Avengers. Rogers, Banner and Barton looked grim; Romanoff as unreadable as ever. Thor had not spoken for the entire meeting: a storm waiting to break.

'Stark is not responding to any of our attempts to contact him. If he persists in this way, we'll have no choice but to pay him a visit.'

'Why can't we leave them alone?' Banner spoke up in his usual mumbled tones. 'Loki's life obviously isn't in any danger, and Tony can handle him...'

It did hurt, Bruce had to admit, knowing that Tony had felt the need to steal Loki behind his back, as if he hadn't trusted him to have a patient's best interests at heart. If Tony had asked him, he would've been willing to aid them, even accompany them.

'Stark is not authorised to have Loki in his custody. And you cannot put your opinions or emotions above your responsibility. No matter what you _feel_, Loki must be contained and Stark must be brought in for questioning.'

'For _questioning_?' Cap demanded. 'Wait, let me get this straight. Now _Tony's_ a threat too? Just because he's trying to straighten things out? You were supposed to be keeping Jane Foster out of harm's way, and what happened to her may have happened under our roof, but it falls under your jurisdiction as well. It was your damn fault as well as ours. For all _we_ know, _you_ could've been behind it – '

'Nobody was behind it,' Hawkeye broke in. 'I made a decision and it was a shitty one. That's all there is to it. My responsibility.' Noticing Rogers glaring at him, he added, 'What else do you want me to say? I can't change what happened.'

'What exactly do you expect us to do?' Fury demanded, 'Just let Loki and Stark go into hiding together? S.H.I.E.L.D. warned you that Loki's presence would jeapordise the team. Now a civilian is dead and Tony Stark has abducted a prisoner of war. Do you still think Loki belongs in a cosy Stark Tower suite instead of a secure holding facility?'

'If somebody's going to go visit them, they should go alone. Loki might perceive a group of people as a threat,' said Natasha pragmatically.

'I'll go,' Bruce volunteered, 'Loki trusts me. Not much, but still, he might be more receptive towards me than towards, say, Clint.'

'Thor?' Fury finally addressed the silent god. 'Do you agree with Doctor Banner?'

'How do you intend to persuade Loki?' was all Thor asked, his voice clipped.

'Well...He's still not completely recovered, physically I mean, and Tony isn't a qualified health care professional. I can try to convince Loki that returning would be for his own good – '

'I will go,' Thor cut in.

'But – '

'I will not need to threaten him or coax him. He will come with me.'

'Thor, I'm not sure – '

'Loki is my business. And he would be a fool to challenge me – as would Stark.'

'Thor,' Steve said, 'I'll put this plainly. If we're bringing Loki back in, it'll be as friends. You do not attack him, and you _do not_ hurt Tony. Tony's a good man and a good friend. He doesn't deserve to be caught in the crossfire. Understand?'

'Stark has betrayed me also.'

Steve took a step towards him, but Natasha caught at his arm.

'Give him some space,' the agent muttered, 'Jane's only been dead for a day.'

Rogers subsided, albeit grudgingly. He hated the team's internal conflict, and despite his understanding of Thor's bereavement, couldn't help but feel he was misplacing the blame.

Thor unhooked Mjölnir from his belt and turned to leave.

'I will find Loki. I will bring him back safely. But if he wrongs me again, I _will_ hurt him.'

It was night by the time Loki finally emerged from the bathroom, fully clothed and dry now. Tony Stark had nodded off to sleep once or twice, but other than that had not abandoned his vigil outside. He stood up as Loki appeared.

'Better?' he asked.

'Yes.'

'Hungry?'

'No.'

'Thirsty?'

'No.'

'Tired?'

'A little.' Loki looked down at the borrowed clothes he was wearing, his hands playing nervously about the unfamiliar hemline. 'I thought I was recovering,' he said quietly. 'I thought the worst of it had come and gone – that I had been through the worst pain and nothing could surpass it. It turns out I was wrong.'

'I get how it is,' Tony said. 'You can only lie to yourself so long, right? You think you're gonna be okay, then you crash and burn.'

Loki nodded.

'I always trusted Thor. Even when we were enemies and I hated him, I still knew I could rely on him to love me. He'd forgive me anything, you see, and if I fell too far he'd always be there to catch me. He was my...last anchor.'

'Well, I can't stand in for your brother, but I'm here if you need me. Okay?'

'You're very kind to me.'

'It's my style.' Tony hesitated, then took a deep breath. 'In Afghanistan...'

'I know, Stark. Agent Barton told me everything while he was under the sceptre's control. You needn't relive it.'

Tony snorted, but didn't reply. Initially he felt perturbed that Loki knew of his captivity, but then decided it was probably for the best; it spared them talking about it. He stayed with Loki a while longer, and they spoke a little more, before Loki said he was going to rest and Tony returned to his laboratory. He was drinking a black coffee and hammering a section of metal plating rather harder than necessary when J.A.R.V.I.S. informed him:

'**Sir, your guest is here**.'

Tony's head whipped up. Loki had come silently down the stairs and was watching him inquisitively through the glass door.

'Let him in, Jarvis,' said Tony. Loki startled as the glass slid open, then stepped through into the laboratory. 'What's up? You need something?'

'No. I just came to see what you were doing so secretively. You built all of this yourself?'

'Jarvis helped.'

'And you built _it_ too?'

'_Him_. Jarvis is a guy. At least, I think of him as a guy.'

Loki curiously examined the jumble of machinery from every angle without touching anything. His natural desire to learn seemed to take over for a while; but when a mechanism rotated to reveal a panel of pointed, needle-like electrical connectors, he drew back, flinching. Tony quickly tried to distract him, saying:

'I guess this is all junk to you.'

'I have more understanding of modern technology than you give me credit for. Admittedly this looks...complicated. Yet interesting,' said Loki. It was painfully obvious that he was making a conscious effort to be sociable, as if to make up for inconveniencing Tony. 'Do you spend long down here each day?'

They were interrupted by a distant, rumbling boom from far above. Thunder. Loki recoiled like a startled deer, eyes widening.

'Loki, chill. It's just bad weather.' Tony's attempt to reassure him fell through as J.A.R.V.I.S. confirmed their mutual fear:

'**Sir, Mr Odinson is enroute.**'

'He's come to kill me. I know he has.'

'No, he's not,' Stark grasped Loki firmly by the shoulders. 'Stay here,' he ordered, 'You're not in any danger – I'm not going to let him hurt you – but you need to stay here. Understand?' Loki nodded. 'I'm going to go up and talk to him. Wait for me. I won't be long.'

Tony left the basement as another peal of thunder cracked overhead, so close now he felt like his ears were about to pop. He almost felt the change in atmosphere as Thor arrived: a crackling tension.

'Somebody's pissed off. This ain't gonna be pretty. Jarvis, _do not_ let Loki out of that room. I can't have him disappearing on me. Understood?'

'**Understood, sir.**'

'Good. Dress me.'

The last piece of the Mark VIII locked into place as Tony reached the lobby, just in time to greet Thor. The Asgardian was stone-faced, his hammer ready in hand.

'Okay, big guy.' Tony held out his arms protectively in front of his whiskey bar. 'Promise me no matter what happens, you'll leave my house alone?'

'I did not come here to fight you, Stark. Only to retrieve my brother.'

'What makes you think he's here?' was the flippant response.

'Don't play with me, Stark.' The growl was unmistakeable. 'We know you took him.'

'It was worth a shot.' He paused and peered around. 'Where are the others?'

'I came alone.'

'Was that a group decision or did you just take off?'

'I've not the time for this. Where is Loki?'

'Asleep,' Stark lied.

'I would speak with him.'

'Not a chance in hell.'

'Then can you and I at least talk?'

'Sure.' Iron Man paused. 'Lemme take this suit off? It won't take a minute.'

Thor nodded, and Tony turned and walked away, heading back downstairs into the laboratory. Instead of shedding the suit, he went straight to Loki.

'He's here, isn't he,' Loki was panicking.

'Shhh.' Tony kept his voice hushed. 'Yeah, Thor's here, but he just wants to see you to make sure you're alright and ask you if you want to come back to the Tower. He's not here to hurt you.' Loki quietened down a little, but his pulse was still racing. 'Are you ready to speak to him?'

Loki shook his head emphatically. At that moment, they both turned at the sound of a footstep. Thor had followed him down and entered unannounced. Iron Man raised his hands defensively, palms glowing as he prepared to fire a series of repulsor beams.

'Buddy, don't even think about making me trash my own basement – '

Mjölnir swept him aside.

'_Don't you dare threaten me, Stark!_' Thor lashed out.

Loki had backed into a corner, caught between fight and flight. Their eyes met, and Loki started to babble, an almost unintelligible rush of words.

'I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to kill her, it was an accident, I didn't meant for it to happen, I swear – '

Loki suddenly darted around him, making a run for the stairs, but J.A.R.V.I.S. closed the glass partition before he could reach it.

Before Thor's mind had caught up with his body, he had already grabbed Loki by the arm, wrenching him around so they were face-to-face. Loki's bone density was several dozen times that of a human, and the snap of his humerus cracking was like a gunshot. Loki gave a bloodcurdling scream, sliding to his knees. Thor stared at him uncomprehendingly, still grasping Loki's arm; then, realising Loki was not faking it, he let go. Loki slumped to the floor at his feet.

A unibeam blast from Iron Man's chest knocked Thor backwards, followed a second later by Iron Man himself as he tackled the Asgardian into a pile of machinery with a crash. Loki's abject screaming quickly broke up their fight; he was curled up, cradling his arm at an odd angle. Stark knelt beside him, opening his visor so Loki could see his face, trying to look reassuring.

'Loki, try to keep still. I know it hurts, but you've gotta keep still – '

'_I'm sorry!_' Loki cried. Thor winced but didn't move.

As gently as he could with metal gauntlets on, he rolled Loki over to take a look at the broken arm. There was a lump but no visible bone – it was a clean, closed fracture. Swelling and discolouration were rapidly forming. He gingerly felt the spot to locate the break. Loki shut his mouth, pressing his lips tightly together to stifle his pain.

'Shit, shit...It's okay, Loki, it's nothing, I can fix it in no time. It'll be fixed before you know it.'

'**Sir, you had best make a splint to immobilise** – '

'I don't want to speak to you right now, Jarvis.'

Loki let out a strangled noise, and he looked up to see Thor standing over them. He must've paid a trip to the nearby fridge, because he was holding a handful of ice-packs, which he offered wordlessly. Iron Man snatched them, rising to his feet and gesticulating.

'_Well done!_ You fetched ice, aren't you just the cleverest damn thing? Are you proud of yourself? I hope you're proud of yourself, asshole! _Look what you've done!_' He shoved Thor in the chest, and to his surprise Thor did not retaliate. 'Get out! Get the hell out of my house!'

Backing away, Thor caught a final glimpse of Loki's face, tear-streaked and full of agony, before turning and leaving.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Never thought I'd make it to 250 reviews *flails*. Thank you to Guest, Aquarinus, THORKISUPPORT, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, EvilConcubine, Guest, lily, Lizstyla, Guest, Nako13yeh, The Pearl Maiden, DarkSkyDepth, Autumn (**_**well, I got my inspiration back, and hope it stays**_**), Guest, Guest, ratchetsfangirl, Guest, jacquelinelittle, Elizabeth, Constance Bonacieux, The CresantMoonWolf, thegriffin88, Guest, jas, , My-chan, Haruko-Mizumi, Madame Jinxie, Guest, Guest, Potkanka, Sally, Guest, Rosie, STIXandMANNY, Loki-and-Robin-Lover, McRaider and Guest.**

He couldn't breathe beneath the crushing weight pinning him down. His lungs screamed as rough hands – were they Thor's or Barton's? – covered his mouth and nose.

Pain exploded through the nightmare as Loki hit the ground on his side, landing with his broken arm underneath him. The painkillers Stark had pumped into him still hadn't worn off, and were enough to block out the worst of the agony; but they didn't stop him crying out. As the world righted itself, he realised he was lying on the floor of the guest-suite. The sheets were half-hanging off the bed – he had fallen. His arm was immobile in a sling.

_Thor_, he remembered, and wished he had never woken – wished he was still lost in the nightmare so he wouldn't have to face the reality of Thor's hatred.

Stark was already here, reassuring him, helping him up off the floor and back into bed. Loki tasted blood and realised his lower lip was bleeding – he had bitten it in pain. Looking up at the human, he saw exhaustion in the haggard lines and anger buried in the brown eyes.

'Will my brother come back?' Loki's breath hitched in his throat.

'No.' Nursing his anger, Tony packed more ice onto the injured area. 'If he _does_, I'll...'

'Please. Tell him I'm sorry...'

'I'm not telling him shit,' Tony snapped before he could catch himself. It angered him that Loki should have to feel remorse for something that he wasn't to blame for – that his already devastated life should be completely ruined by it. Struggling for a calmer tone, he added, 'I'm going to fix you up first; that's more important. Thor can wait.'

'But he needs to see – you need to make him see I'm sorry…'

'Take these.' Stark was holding out a glass of water in one hand and a pills on his open palm. 'It'll help you sleep.'

'You already gave me some.'

'Please, just take them.'

'Nothing helps.'

'Loki, please. Work with me here.'

Loki didn't have the spirit to protest, so he swallowed the pills with a grimace, washed them down and lay back. He remembered crawling into Thor's bed for comfort just a few nights ago – Thor's words: _No-one and nothing will ever hurt you again. I promise_. He would never again feel the security and surety of his brother's embrace. Clinging to himself, Loki did his best to block everything out, until Stark's words were no more than an indistinct background drone.

Tony stayed by him, wiping Loki's lip with a tissue whenever the blood welled up. He had half-expected Loki to retreat behind his usual façade of bitter sarcasm, but Loki was openly inconsolable. Tony knew there was absolutely nothing he could say or do to make him feel better, so he turned out the lights in grim silence and lay down on the sofa several metres away.

Unable to sleep, he lay awake in the dark and brooded. In the immediate aftermath of the encounter with Thor, Loki had managed to remain lucid as Tony carried out first-aid, and once he had recovered from the shock and pain enough to walk (albeit shakily) Tony had moved him back upstairs. Part of Tony wondered if he should've let Thor stay, help and apologise…but no, why the hell should he be given another chance? He'd had plenty of chances already. And just like old-school Loki, he had thrown them away.

He heard Loki draw a shuddering breath and realised the god was not asleep, but crying quietly. Tony had never felt more uncomfortable in his life. He lay there awkwardly, willing himself to lose his hearing ability so he wouldn't have to eavesdrop on Loki's misery. Finally he pretended to stir and cough in his sleep, and Loki fell silent, stifling his tears. The weeping ceased, and eventually both of them slipped into an uneasy slumber.

Tony woke late to a buzzing phone. Pepper had messaged him to let him know he had to attend a meeting with Stark Industries. He stared blankly at the text, wondering how he could ever have thought this was important. Ghosting past Loki without waking him, he helped himself to the guest suite's bathroom, then stood in front of the mirror and stared at his reflection. He looked like shit.

'Jarvis,' he said quietly.

'**Yes, sir?**'

'What are Loki's chances of making a complete physical and mental recovery with nobody's help or support but mine?'

'**I couldn't say, sir. These things aren't necessarily calculable**.'

'I know, I know.' Tony put his hands over his face and groaned. 'Oh _God_. I'm not a therapist. I don't know what to say to him, apart from speaking my mind. I wasn't cut out for this.'

'**You could always return him, sir**.'

'That's not an option.'

'**Technically it is, sir**.'

'Well, yeah, but I'm not that big of an asshole.'

Tony's uncertainty over what to do soon spiralled into uncertainty about his own motivations, and for a while, he doubted himself. Was he doing this for Loki's sake or was he only doing this for himself, to prove a point or make a statement? Was his kindness motivated by empathy or self-pity? Tony removed his hands from his face and stared up at the ceiling.

'Jarvis. How do you think Pepper would feel if I sent her an anxious voicemail telling her I was sheltering an extraterrestrial would-be despot in my house and needed her help dealing with his trauma?'

'**It's difficult to say. Perhaps confused at first, then distressed afterwards**.'

'Well, I need another set of hands here. I can't carry Loki around in my pocket.'

'**Sir, perhaps you could discuss it with the other Avengers and come to some sort of arrangement, or at least compromise**.'

'What, like finding Loki some nice S.H.I.E.L.D.-approved accommodations?'

'**If that's what's best for everybody**.'

Tony mulled it over. The stubborn part of him wanted nothing more to do with any of the Avengers, but realistically he knew he couldn't do this alone. J.A.R.V.I.S. might be able to monitor Loki twenty-four-seven, but what could the A.I. do in the event of him being attacked or suffering a psychological break, apart from activate alarms? What if nobody answered his calls for help? What if – in the worst-case scenario – S.H.I.E.L.D. managed to shut down J.A.R.V.I.S.?

But who could he ask? Tasha? She was a professional through and through, but too closely affiliated with S.H.I.E.L.D. for comfort. Steve? Steve had nothing but good intentions in his head, but he was too much of a team-player – he would reunite the Avengers or die trying, and Tony had no desire to be nagged back into the group before he had forgiven Thor. Clint might be genuinely sorry, but under these circumstances "sorry" wasn't worth a damn. Thor was not an option.

Glancing into the bedroom to make sure Loki was still asleep, Tony pulled out his phone again and dialled Bruce Banner.

'Bruce, you're coming to Malibu. All travel costs are on me,' he said without preamble.

'Tony! What's the matter? Has something happened?'

'Yeah. I guess Thor didn't bother to tell you. When he came barging into my home last night, he messed Loki up real bad. I've done what I can but it's not enough.'

'Is this a secure line?'

'No line's secure anymore,' Tony snorted.

'Tell me what you need.'

'Thor broke Loki's arm.'

There was a pause in which Tony could practically see the doctor take off his glasses with an intense frown.

'Thor wouldn't do that deliberately.'

'Well, perhaps it was an accident,' Tony admitted, 'But he did it. I'm assuming you knew he was coming here…'

'Tony, you've got to understand, Thor was in control of himself when he left us. He was determined to bring Loki back, not to kill him.'

'Great. Did he say anything about bringing Loki back _in one piece_?'

'Tony…you didn't have to take off like that. I'm not saying we should've kept them in the same building, but running away with Loki just...made Loki look guiltier.'

'Look, I need to go, I can't leave Loki for long. Please get here soon and make sure you come alone. If you show up with a bunch of S.H.I.E.L.D. guys, not even the Other Guy will be able to help you. Okay?'

'Okay. I'll be there as soon as I can. Take care of yourself.'

Stark hung up and returned to Loki's side, where he remained for most of the day, skipping breakfast and lunch. It took almost five hours for Bruce Banner to arrive, and in that period, Tony had to sedate Loki twice. When J.A.R.V.I.S. notified him that Bruce had been admitted into the house, Tony belatedly realised how Loki was going to react. He nearly slapped himself.

'**Sir, Doctor Banner is waiting in the lobby. Shall I direct him here?**'

'Do it.'

Loki was currently facing away from him, curled up on his uninjured side. Leaning onto the bed with both hands, Stark peered at his face. From what he could see, it was pale and strained.

'Loki? Are you awake?' he ventured. 'How are you feeling? Does your arm still hurt?'

He slightly rubbed Loki's good shoulder, trying to encourage a response, but got none.

'Look, I…You know how I said I was going to look after you? Well, I meant it. I meant every word of it. But to be honest, I'm probably not the best person for the job. I guess you know that, right? All about my personality profile…Well…I might as well just tell you…Doctor Banner is – '

He paused, not wanting to paint the picture that he had gone behind Loki's back by inviting Bruce.

' – I mentioned to Doctor Banner that your arm was hurt, so he thought he'd come by and see if there was anything he could do to help. Is that okay with you? He's here now, I can show him in if you want.'

Loki still didn't respond. At that moment there was a soft, hesitant tap on the door, barely audible. Inwardly cursing, Tony adjusted the covers more warmly over Loki in a reassuring sort of way. What did Thor used to do to comfort his brother? Tony hesitated, then placed a hand on the side of Loki's neck. Loki flinched and Tony backed off.

'I'll be back in a moment.'

Tony answered the door and was greeted by one of Banner's lurid purple shirts and a load of medical supplies.

'Tony. The A.I. told me to come upstairs…'

'Yeah, I know. Come in and don't make any sudden movements.'

He turned back to the bed to find Loki had disappeared. Shit – had Loki's magic come back? No, Loki was barely able to walk by himself, let alone teleport. Frantically he checked in the bathroom and other side-rooms, but they were deserted. Behind him, the doctor was baffled; Banner glanced inside the wardrobe just in case, then a thought occurred to him. Bruce hesitated, then knelt and peered underneath the bed. All that was visible of Loki was a white hand.

'Loki? There's no need to hide. Come out.'

Hearing him, Tony returned and crouched to peer under the bed.

'Shit…Loki, it's okay, it's just Bruce. I'm really sorry, okay? Come out now.'

Loki didn't reply. Lying down flat on the floor, Banner reached under the bed, but the god drew away.

'It's alright. Please come out. I'm going to try and help you. You don't mind me taking a look at your arm, do you?'

Loki continued to distance himself, but in doing so he came close to the other edge of the bed, where Tony was. Stark grasped Loki's uninjured arm.

'Tony, wait, don't – '

But Tony had already pulled Loki out into what was almost an embrace.

'Leave me be,' Loki was mumbling, his head dropped to hide his face. 'Leave me be!'

'I'm really, extremely sorry Loki, but there's nothing to be scared of. Bruce is just here to help you.'

Loki winced as he accidentally bumped his arm, a moan escaping gritted teeth. Alarmed, Bruce came forwards to help. Half an hour later, Loki was unresponsive again, and his arm was properly splinted and encased in plaster. Stark and Banner had worked together efficiently, but now they stood in discomfited silence.

'Tony…Maybe you already know this, but I just want to tell you, nothing's changed. You're still part of the team, even if you're flying solo. And you can always come back any time.'

The idea was tempting. Fly over there just for the satisfaction of firing a rocket into Thor's face, even if it didn't cause any damage. He said so, and Banner answered uncertainly:

'Tony…Thor hasn't come back yet.'

'Eh?'

'He just…hasn't. S.H.I.E.L.D. are tracking his location and have been working non-stop to pinpoint him, but he must be constantly on the move. I guess he just needs some time alone to clear his head.'

Tony hesitated, wondering if Thor might be consumed by guilt, then shrugged it off. If Thor wanted to fly away and wallow for a while, that was his call.

'Well, the further away he is from Loki, the better. He's setting foot in this house again over my dead body. Loki doesn't deserve anyone's hatred.'

'I don't think you really mean that.'

'Of course I do – '

'If _you_ had been the one Loki had hurt and done wrong by, you would hate him pretty thoroughly. I don't think you'd be giving his history a free pass.'

Tony hesitated.

'You're right. I _would_ be pissed off. Maybe. But that's not always the same as hate. Not _real_ hate, anyway. And despite everything, I don't think that what Thor is feeling right now is real hate, even if Thor himself doesn't realise it. I just wish they both knew it.'


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Thank you to each of you: Potkanka, Guest, Nako13yeh, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, Sally, EvilConcubine, Guest, THORKISUPPORT, Aquarinus, Guest, Guest, ratchetsfangirl, CatGirl04 (**_**hmm, I've never tried Archive of Our Own**_**), TheCresantMoonWolf, jacquelinelittle, DarkSkyDepth (**_**sweet pain O.O**_**) Guest, Haruko-Mizumi), Autumn, Madame Jinxie, Guest, Constance Bonacieux and Dark Space for reviewing, as well as my Fav'ers and Followers.**

They wouldn't leave him alone. He knew they meant well – knew the two humans wanted nothing more than to help him – but having them constantly at his side, caring for him, only doubled Loki's sense of degradation. The last of his pride and wits had deserted him, leaving him a wreck, lacking the willpower to speak, eat or even move. All his thoughts were of his brother.

_Thor hates you. He was the last person alive who looked upon you with warmth and trust, but you drove him away. Now you are truly, completely unloved._ Could Thor forgive him? They had loved each other once, perhaps they could do so again. Stark and Banner would of course try to stop him, but if he was clever he could escape them, seek Thor out…but then what? Throw himself on his brother's mercy? Loki quailed at the thought of facing more pain. _Coward_, an insidious part of his mind whispered. _You cannot even accept vengeance for killing your brother's love._

Loki realised he was trembling, and tried to still himself. Stark had gone downstairs to prepare dinner for the three of them, leaving Loki in Banner's careful hands. The doctor was doing a routine check-up – something to do with nutrition or hydration.

_Was this Thanos' plan all along?_ For Loki to be forgiven, only to betray his brother again and throw away that forgiveness? To draw close to Thor only to sever all bonds forever? Even now was he still not free of the Chitauri's hold? Would he ever escape it?

Loki's glance fell on Banner's open medical kit. Amid the bottles and boxes and syringes and gauze, was a tiny pair of surgical scissors.

Bruce turned back to feel the tip of something sharp nick his throat. Loki's eyes were dilated and the hand which held the scissors to the smaller man's jugular was trembling. Banner didn't make any sudden moves; carefully he moistened his dry lips and said:

'Put that down, Loki.'

'Show me the monster,' Loki said hoarsely, an edge of command in his voice. 'I know it's in there, no matter how hard you try to hide it. It wants out, and so do I.'

'I'm not angry with you. You're not in trouble. Just put the scissors down and we'll forget this ever happened, eh? I won't tell Tony…'

'I said, _show me!_' Loki's hand jumped, and Bruce reflexively pulled back. The God of Mischief was quicker – he slashed Banner across the face, opening his cheek. 'If you want to help me so much, then _kill me!_'

Bruce was hyperventilating, his voice deepening as a green tinge overcame his skin, his musculature bulking up. Loki, both terrified and invigorated, stabbed the scissors as hard as he could into the doctor's transforming torso, and was rewarded with a grunt of pain and anger.

'_Kill me, damn you!_' Loki screamed at it. The Hulk could have struck him down like swatting a fly, but held back with a growl. '_Do it! Damn you! Do it!_'

Then the monster's giant fist clenched around his leg, and the world turned upside-down and suddenly went black. When Loki next opened his eyes, his head was buzzing and he was lying on a heap of rubble. The Hulk had put him halfway through the wall. _Still alive_.

Banner was in the middle of downsizing, uncomfortably clutching a shirt to himself as he waited to regain his normal stature.

'I'm so sorry,' said the doctor, his voice sounding muffled in Loki's ringing ears, 'Really sorry about that. I lost my temper for a second. I didn't mean to knock you out. Are you okay?'

Loki stirred, coughing dust. The plaster cast on his arm was ruined and he could feel the extra pain even through the barrier of painkillers. He had no other injuries – one blow was all he had been dealt. The beast must have quickly realised what it was doing and let go of him. Banner's slashed face was already fully healed, but the blood was still there. Loki felt wretched.

'I'm very sorry,' said Loki as misery returned, worsened this time by guilt. 'I'm very, very sorry.' He had seen an opportunity and made a wild grab for it, but missed. The furious energy which had momentarily fuelled him was gone.

'It's okay,' said Banner, swaying and holding his dizzy forehead as he recovered, 'No hard feelings. I'm sorry I flipped out.'

'I'm very sorry. Please forgive me.'

'What the hell?' Stark was standing in the doorway, staring at them accusingly. 'Jarvis told me you were having a scuffle…'

'It's okay, Tony. We just had a bit of a…problem, that's all. We're sorting it out now.'

'Great. Can you sort my wall out too while you're at it?'

'I'm sorry.' Loki was avoiding their gazes. 'I won't do that again.' With great difficulty, he manoeuvred himself into a sitting position. He winced, touching his leg. It ached but was otherwise undamaged. 'I was just…trying to…' he trailed off, remembering his pleas for death.

'Can you stand up? Does anything feel broken?'

'No.' Loki was gesturing aimlessly, unable to find the right words, his eyes hopeless. Something wet dripped onto his hand, and he realised he had begun to silently, numbly cry. Stark and Banner were frozen in front of him, unsure of what to do. 'I'll clean up the mess, I promise.'

Bruce buttoned up his shirt, then went and knelt beside Loki, ignoring the fact that they were surrounded by rubble.

'I don't suppose you want to talk about it?'

'No. I'm…bad at talking. I'm sorry, I don't mean to…be trouble…'

Bruce shifted in front of him so they were eye-to-eye.

'I want you to listen to me very carefully, okay? Are you listening?'

Loki nodded without raising his head.

'You've managed to survive much worse than this. You're very strong, and even though you might not always feel like it, you're very brave. That strength and that bravery can get you through this. No matter what happens, no matter how far you are from home, no matter how unsalvageable the situation looks, there is _always_ a chance to make things better. Understand?'

His words fell on deaf ears. Loki had survived being a disgrace to his family, an outcast to his realm…falling through the airless, burning, freezing void of the cosmos to crash-land in the Chitauri's domain…being defeated by the Avengers, tortured by Thanos…Yet all that pain seemed to pale in comparison to Thor's rejection. _Nothing_ was worse than being hated by his brother.

'I can't…I just can't…' Loki wasn't thinking straight anymore, grief rising to overwhelm him until he felt he might shatter into a million pieces. 'I can't do this.'

'You can do this. And we'll help. We'll be here as long as you need us, alright?'

'…No…I want Thor. I want my brother.'


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Thank you to thegriffin88, EvilConcubine, Guest, Guest, DarkSkyDepth, jacquelinelittle, msgone, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, THORKISUPPORT, Guest, Aquarinus, oOo, Dazja, Haruko-Mizumi, ratchetsfangirl, Guest, , TheCresantMoonWolf, My-chan, Autumn (**_**hopefully I haven't misspelled anybody so far xD**_**), Madame Jinxie, Constance Bonacieux, Potkanka, Guest and but-the-clouds for reviewing, my Fav'ers and Followers for Faving and Following, and Bomber for beta'ing :o)**

Thor's thoughts were reeling as he arrived at the Malibu mansion, but by the time he left, his mind was blank. He had heard but not really noticed Loki's screams of agony and fear, as if they were distant or somehow filtered. He flew until he realised he was lost, then came to ground in the wilderness.

_Did I just break Loki's arm?_ He looked down at his hands, remembering the chill of Loki's arm and the horrible, sickening feel of bone giving way beneath his grip. He had hurt his brother so only once before, by accident, when they were wrestling as young children. He hadn't known his own strength then. Their mother had been furious, warning Thor to never again be so careless with his younger brother._ No. My mother. Not Loki's_, he reminded himself.

He realised he had been standing there for a very long time, so he sat down among the trees. Time went by, and memories passed through his head without order or meaning: Loki on his knees, Jane's smile, Mother combing Loki's hair, the sound of Loki's laughter when they were children.

The others found him eventually. He didn't hear the aircraft coming – it hummed through the night sky, soft as a bird on the wing, to hover overhead and shine a light down upon his brooding form.

'_Thor?_' Agent Romanoff's voice echoed from some loudspeaker – gentle, despite the fact it was magnified. '_Are you okay? We were worried about you_.'

Thor made no response, just watched the aircraft. It didn't land, and nobody emerged from it – almost as if they were cautious of him. Ready to shoot.

'_How long have you been sitting there?_'

He realised he didn't know. He had no idea where he was or how long he had been missing.

'_Do you want to come back with me?_'

He rose silently. Taking this as a signal of acceptance, Romanoff came low enough for him to climb onboard, and without speaking any further they returned to New York together. Natasha knew Thor wanted to be left alone, and so tried to concentrate on her flying, breaking the silence to him only to alert him of their ETA. When they disembarked on the helicopter pad atop Stark Tower, only Barton and Captain Rogers were there to meet them.

'It's good to have you back, Thor,' said Steve.

'Where is Banner?' asked Thor.

Clint hesitated, then said:

'He's gone to Malibu. To help Tony with Loki.'

Thor didn't reply, merely walked away, his sense of being let down now truly complete.

'Aren't you hungry?' Natasha called after him.

'My appetite is gone.'

Without thinking, Thor made his way to the place he had slept in for over a week: the medical bay. Realising his mistake, he stopped short, staring at Loki's vacant gurney. The sheets were still messy, and he thought he could discern what position Loki had been lying in before Stark had snatched him away.

Thor did not leave the medical bay for the next few days. The others came to tap on the door and ask him if he was alright, if he needed anything, if he wanted to talk, but he replied only with one-word answers. Rogers even entered at one point to talk face-to-face, but the ominous atmosphere quickly drove him away.

Then there was an unexpected visitor.

'Thor?' Romanoff's voice was muffled through the door, 'Bruce is here to see you.'

Banner? Had he come to make demands, or did he carry a message from Loki? Either way, Thor had no desire to hear him, but he opened the door nonetheless. It was more difficult to feel harshly towards Banner than it was towards Stark – Banner was a healer and so of course would want to help Loki, while Stark was purely an interferer.

Bruce entered, as calm and harmless as ever, and Natasha quickly withdrew to allow them their privacy.

'Thor. You look like...hell. Can I speak with you?'

'Did I not let you in just now?'

'True. Apparently you...went off the radar for a while, is that right?'

'I needed some time alone.'

'Well, a bit of peace and quiet is always a good thing,' said Banner. Thor had begun to pace slowly around the medical bay, each step weighted and every movement controlled, as if he were trying to hide his emotions. 'Thor, we really need to talk. About Loki. I don't know if you remember this or not...perhaps you were too angry at the time to realise what you were doing...but you broke his arm.'

'I know. I remember. And I am sorry for that – it was not something I meant to do. I would've stayed and helped make it right, but Stark made it clear I was unwelcome in his home, so I left.'

_Well, at least it was unintentional_. Feeling encouraged, Bruce pressed on:

'Thor, I know it's difficult after...after Jane, I know it's a lot to ask of you after losing somebody, but you need to try to look at this situation from a clear perspective. For your brother's sake. Okay?' he reasoned, choosing his words carefully and trying not to sound accusatory. 'Try to put yourself in Loki's shoes. He – '

'I do not wish to discuss him.'

'It's very important that we do. Jane's death was an accident, not murder.'

'I know,' Thor replied. Bruce was taken aback – he had assumed that Thor's anger stemmed from a misunderstanding. Unsure of what to say next, he remained silent, and Thor continued: 'I have forgiven him every single lie he has ever told me, every wrong he has ever done me. Now, I no longer have it in me to keep forgiving him.'

Bruce was growing increasingly worried at Thor's irrationality. He hesitated, Loki's failed suicide attempt on the tip of his tongue, but he decided to put it off a little longer. Perhaps he could talk Thor into seeing reason without having to reveal the full extent of what Loki had gone through.

'Do you love Loki?'

'No.'

'Did you love him once?'

'Yes.'

'Then you can love him again.'

'How? I cannot think of him without thinking of Jane; every time I see him, I will see Jane's blood – on his hands and on mine.'

'Is there anything Loki can do to make you forgive him?'

'No. Nothing.'

Unable to curb his temper any longer, Banner said forcefully:

'You know, a few hours ago, Loki tried to take his own life. Specifically, he tried to get _me_ to take it. He did his best to provoke the Other Guy. He practically _begged_ me to kill him. If he'd succeeded, he would be dead right now. Is that what you want? You want him to kill himself out of guilt because you're too…too angry, or too selfish, I don't know which, to reconcile with him? Because you can't make the _effort_ to forgive him?'

Thor was not responding, instead staring at the floor.

'Can you even hear me?'

The silence stretched out, and Bruce realised his frustration had turned into something else: _disappointment_. This wasn't the Thor he had helped save the world alongside.

'The only times Loki's stopped crying are when he's drugged up and unconscious. Don't you understand? Loki _doesn't want to live_. Is that what you want?'

'No.'

'Then come and tell him so! Tell him you love him, tell him it's alright!'

'How can I? It's not alright.'

'So you're just going to give up on him?'

'Tell me you would not do the same.'

'I can safely tell you I would not.'

'How do you know?' It wasn't in Thor's nature to be spiteful, but from some pit of bitterness he managed to dredge up the words: 'You have no loved ones, for none will have _you_.'

Bruce stared at him, nearly speechless with hurt and shock. He ttried to stay calm – drawing a deep breath, he held it, counted to five, then exhaled slowly.

'So that's it, then? You're just fed up? You're going to toss Loki aside like trash because you feel like you've had enough? Because you're _tired_ of him? Fine. You know what? _Fine_.' Banner started to back towards the door. 'You accused Loki of seeking vengeance for imaginary wrongs and petty childhood slights. I'm inclined to think you're doing the same thing right now.'

Thor was halfway across the medical bay before Banner even realised he had made a mistake. Grabbing the doctor by the shirt and shoving him against the wall, uncaring of awakening the Hulk's wrath, Thor snarled:

'Are you telling me her death was of no consequence? She died in my arms, she stopped breathing as I held her, and I was helpless to stop her. I waited too long to reunite with her, and when she finally sought me out, I failed to protect her. That was real, that was not _petty_ – '

'So you're going to fail Loki too? I'm not trying to minimise Jane's death. What I'm saying is, your dismissal of Loki is bullshit.'

Thor released Bruce's shirt but did not move away, continuing to glare at the small human.

'I can't word this gently, because there's no gentle way to put it. It's too late to help Jane but you can still help your brother. Come on, Loki needs you. You've worked so hard to repair this relationship. You can't just give up and throw it away now.'

Still Thor did not speak. Banner got the impression that the god was no longer seething directly at him, but staring through him, his mind elsewhere.

'I have to go,' said Bruce finally, 'Loki and Tony need me. Take care of yourself, Thor. And I'll take care of your brother.'

Banner departed. When he passed her in the corridor, Natasha emerged from her dark corner to watch him go. It went without saying that she had heard everything. Suddenly the crash of a shattering window, followed by a grim crack of thunder, told her that Thor had left the Tower. With a purpose.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Thanks to Potkanka, Autumn, j-mercuryuk, jacquelinelittle, Ynath Esrith, DarkSkyDepth, THORKISUPPORT, EvilConcubine, Guest, oOo, Aquarinus, CriesofCapricorn, ratchetsfangirl, Constance Bonacieux, Nuala Gale, My-chan, Guest, but-the-clouds, TheRedDragonEnforcer4, TheCresantMoonWolf, I'mAGeekNotANerd, Haruko-Mizumi, Guest and ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer for reviewing.**

There was no thunder or lightning to herald Thor's arrival this time – no warning that he was about to break down the doors. Tony was sitting with Loki, quietly hoping Bruce would be back from New York as soon as possible. He had been trying for the past hour to coax Loki into drinking water and soup, but with no success. Banner had made it clear that knocking Loki out and tube-feeding him would be an absolute last resort, so Tony had no choice but to persevere.

'I guess you don't like my cooking, huh?' he rambled, unable to bear the silence of the mansion, 'I don't blame you...When Bruce gets back I'll see if he can whip up something better...'

Loki turned his head on the pillow and looked at him with damp, red-rimmed eyes.'

'Where is Doctor Banner?'

'He's popped out.'

'Where to?' A flicker of surprise and distrust crossed his face.

'To pick up some stuff. He's going to be staying here for a while, so he needs to get settled in,' Tony lied. To his relief, Loki seemed to buy it; the god turned away again. They both jumped at the sound of a loud crash downstairs. 'It's nothing,' Tony quickly assured him, 'I'll be right back.'

As he left the guest suite he broke into a run, and didn't stop running until he had reached the lobby, fully armoured and ready to fight. Thor was waiting for him.

'Did you talk to Banner?' Tony asked.

'Yes.'

'And he told you...?'

'He did. Where is Loki?'

'In bed nursing his broken arm and crippling psychological scars. Where else did you think he'd be, asshole? He hasn't exactly _bounced back_ from your little visit...'

'Is he able to converse?'

'Yes, when he can muster the willpower.'

'Then he shall do so. I have questions for which he has the answers.'

'You really wanna go through this again?'

'I'm not here for a fight, truly.'

'Breaking and entering while brandishing a big magic hammer doesn't really scream "friendly intentions", you know.'

'You think you can keep me from my own brother?'

'Yes, we've been through this,' said Iron Man, though he doubted himself. Their first fight had ended with a truce and their second with a draw, but Thor wasn't exactly big on physical restraint at the moment.

They were interrupted by a quiet footstep. Loki, disturbed by their raised voices, had come downstairs. He was white as a sheet.

'You and I,' Thor pointed at him with Mjölnir, 'must talk.' Loki was rooted to the spot.

Iron Man positioned himself between them.

'Thor, let me make one thing absolutely clear – '

'Move aside.'

'No.' Stark stood his ground. 'I'm warning you. Raise a finger against anyone in this house and I'll blow you sky high.'

Thor returned Mjölnir to his belt and let his hands hang empty at his sides. Looking past Iron Man, he addressed his brother directly.

'It's time you and I spoke.' He glanced at Loki's arm in its sling. 'I apologise for your wound. It was not my intention to do that.'

Loki finally found his voice:

'Don't kill me.'

'I won't. Come here,' Thor ordered. Loki hesitated. 'I won't hurt you either. Come here.'

Iron Man realised Loki was walking past him; too slow to grab him, he grudgingly allowed him to approach Thor.

'I need to know. What was going through your head when you killed her?'

'I – I don't...I don't know...'

'You don't even know?'

'I was frightened.'

'Of the archer?'

'Yes.'

'And because he brought her with him, you thought _she_ must be your enemy too?'

'No – no – '

'Then why?'

'Because you left me. You left me to go off and be with her. I was alone when I came face-to-face with Barton. I thought – for a minute, I thought you had left me...to die...I just panicked. I was running, just running, and when I saw you, I saw you smiling at her, just standing there smiling and talking to her when you were supposed to be protecting me, and I just...'

'You killed her because she was with me?'

'No, it wasn't her. It was you. I was trying to kill you. For a heartbeat I wanted to kill you, and a heartbeat was all it took. I didn't mean for it to happen! My mind wasn't clear, nothing made sense – '

'Are you lying to me?' said Thor almost plaintively.

'No, Thor, I'm not.'

Thor strode forwards, and his hand closed around Loki's throat. Loki cringed, expecting the worst – but he could still breathe, the grip was firm but didn't hurt. Thor was merely holding him in place warningly. Iron Man started forwards, gauntlets glowing ready to fire, but Thor said without turning his head:

'Interfere with me and I'll snap his neck.'

With Loki in Thor's grip, Stark didn't dare risk it.

'Look at me.' Loki obeyed, his eyes blue and lachrymose as they always were when he let his guard down. 'I want you to know that you killed the woman I loved. I want you to know and never forget it. From this day until the very end of your days, you will remember it. Now tell me the truth.'

'I am.'

'If you lie to me now, I will never forgive you. Ever.'

'I'm not lying.'

'Whom did you mean to kill, me or her?'

'You, brother,' said Loki, and Thor released his throat. 'But it was only one moment, it'll never happen again – ' With his one hand Loki reached pleadingly for Thor's shoulder, but Thor stepped back, holding him at arm's length.

'You told me once that you would hurt Jane.'

'That was a long time ago, brother, and I only said it to provoke you.'

'But you would've done it.'

'Yes, I would have once, but only to cause you pain, not because I hated her. And it was so long ago...'

'When Banner came to me, he told me you wanted to die,' Thor said, voice too low for Stark to hear, eyes searching Loki's face. 'Is that true?'

'I...' Loki didn't know what to say. 'It's true.'

'Why? Because you could not forgive yourself, or because I could not forgive you?'

'You don't know what it's like,' he said faintly, 'Losing everything. I couldn't bear the thought that we were both alive in the universe but no longer as we were. After the Chitauri, you helped me live. I'm sorry for the hurt I've caused you. I'm very sorry.' Thor made no answer. All of a sudden Loki's arm was around him. Recalling a dagger in his spine, Thor pushed at him, trying to prise him off, but Loki clung on tightly, absolutely refusing to let go. 'Don't hate me,' Loki was crying into Thor's neck, hugging him. 'Please don't hate me.'

Unable to stand by and watch any longer, Iron Man walked forwards.

'You've had your say, big guy, now back off and leave him alone.'

'I'm not done with my brother.'

'Well I'm done with you. _Back off_.'

At that moment there was a deafening, angry roar; the Hulk burst into the mansion's lobby, heading straight for the God of Thunder. Thor pushed Loki out of the way and raised his hammer. Seeing Loki was not in immediate danger, Banner came to a halt, snarling.

'Bruce, it's okay, chill.'

The Hulk had apparently jumped from the airborne quinjet; the craft was only just landing outside, Cap, Hawkeye and Black Widow exiting. Loki had withdrawn into a corner, eyes moving from Thor to the approaching Clint then back again.

'This is cosy,' said Iron Man bitterly, kicking aside part of the wreckage from the main doors. 'Drinks, everyone? Are you leaving now?' he threw the passive-aggressive question at Thor.

'No. Where Loki stays, so do I.'


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: So I wasn't too happy with the last chapter, hopefully this one is a bit better. Thank you to Guest, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, THORKISUPPORT, Autumn, jacquelinelittle, ratchetsfangirl, Constance Bonacieux, EvilConcubine, TheCresantMoonWolf, Guest, Guest, Aquarinus, Potkanka, , The Pearl Maiden, Madame Jinxie, Haruko-Mizumi, Guest and My-chan for reviewing :o).**

'What are you guys doing here?' Stark demanded as the six Avengers now stood grouped in the ruined lobby.

'We're sorry,' said Steve, 'We thought Thor was...gonna do something reckless.'

'I came here only to talk to my brother.'

'Yeah, well, we couldn't risk it...'

'You could've got here a bit quicker and stopped him tearing up my shit and half-strangling Loki.'

On the outskirts of the group, Loki was becoming increasingly distressed; backing away from Clint, he edged towards Tony, then hesitated, not knowing whether to go to the human or to Thor.

'I will not be driven away again. I will remain at Loki's side.'

'This isn't going to work, Thor,' said Iron Man. 'You think you can just waltz back in here and reclaim him after everything?'

'You would rather I removed him from my life completely?'

'Kinda.'

'Alright, then.' Mjölnir gathered electricity. Iron Man braced himself to bear the brunt of the blast, and the two Agents ducked for cover, but instead of attacking Thor blazed a hole in the nearest wall with a great, deafening crash of shattering glass. The next instant, he and Loki were both gone.

'Shit. After them.' Tony didn't wait for their response, soaring from the mansion and into the dusky sky. Dark storm-clouds were gathering and a low rumble of thunder sounded; Thor was covering his escape. Iron Man found himself flying practically blind. 'J.A.R.V.I.S., where are they?'

'**Straight ahead of you, sir**.'

The Quinjet caught up with Stark after perhaps three miles, only to veer away; Romanoff was attempting to pilot around the outside of the storm.

'We're losing them,' her voice sounded in his ear.

'Keep on their tail. He can't carry Loki through this thing, surely.'

'We can't fly through a storm,' Barton called down the comms, 'Can _you_?'

Iron Man never got to reply. The lightning bolt smashed him out of the air and he exited the cloud-cover in time to see the cliffs came rushing up to meet him. He was unconscious before he could hear his name yelled down the comms.

Realising they were no longer being followed, Thor came to ground in the wilderness and set his brother on his feet. Walking a few paces away, he scanned the now-clear skies for any sign of their pursuers, but found none. Loki had begun to shake wretchedly and was curled up, his face hidden away.

'Are you cold?' Loki made no answer. Thor tried to pull his head up without hurting him, running a firm hand through Loki's hair. 'Why are you shaking? Did I injure you?'

'No,' Loki spoke into his knees, but the truth was plain in his voice.

'I told you not to lie to me. Are you unwell?'

'I don't know.' Loki's teeth chattered. Unfastening his cape, Thor draped the red cloth around Loki's body. Alone with Loki, his thoughts and the prospect of having destroyed his last friendships, Thor lapsed back into his stupor. He sat on the ground as the shadows lengthened and darkness settled over the landscape. It took him a while to realise Loki was talking to him. 'It's nightfall, brother. We can't stay here. Thor, please. Say something. Anything. We have to go back.'

'I know.' Yet Thor didn't move. 'You are still shaking. Are you afraid? That was foolish of me, wasn't it. In olden days you would've laughed at me. _You_ and only _you_...I know I had many friends on Asgard, and you none, but of all of them you were the truest. You always saw me for what I was, after all: a hollow jewel, big and bright and with no value, nothing to warrant my arrogance but a throne I wasn't worthy to sit on. You knew me best but I never knew you at all.'

'_I_ valued you.'

'Only because everyone else sneered at you. A starving man will be grateful for a grain.' After a pause, Thor said quietly, 'You were always a good son to our parents and a good brother to me even when your mischief got out of hand. Was it all down to me? My ignorance?'

'No, not just you. It was everybody, everything. It was your foolishness, and my inability to be honest. It was the Frost Giants' war, and Odin's mercy on Laufey's bastard son.'

'But none of those things could've been done differently. If the Jötunns had not waged their war, I would never have gained a brother. If Odin had not chosen secrecy, then the people of Asgard would not have accepted you as their prince.'

After a pause, he concluded quite calmly:

'It _was_ me. If I had not been the way I was, we would still be at home, both content with our lot. You oblivious of your origins, and I King while Father slept the Odinsleep peacefully, he and Mother both secure in the belief that they had done the right thing and raised us well. But instead, we are on the other side of the universe and everything has fallen apart.'

'It's not irreparable.'

'Isn't it? Tell me – you're the clever one. How can anything we do or say make the past better?'

'We can fix it, you proved that. We can always fix it.'

'How?'

'Together.'

A dazzling radiance flared over the treetops in the gathering dark – a searchlight being shone on them. Loki raised his good hand to shield his squinting eyes, then turned his face away to hide in Thor's cape. Seconds later the aircraft appeared, large and forbidding as it touched down. Assuming it was Romanoff and the others, Thor stood up ready to apologise for his behaviour – but it was not the Avengers who exited the craft.

'That little bit of turbulence didn't go unnoticed. We figured you were in trouble,' said Director Fury.

'Keep your distance,' Thor warned him.

'What the hell happened to you?'

'I am reunited with Loki.'

Fury's gaze went from Thor to the cowering Loki.

'I thought he was a guest at Tony Stark's house?'

'Yes, he was, but I am not welcome there. I want to be with my brother, but they refused to let me.'

'Are you just going to stay out here in the middle of nowhere? You'll both freeze.'

'I can keep us warm.'

'And well-fed?' said Fury astutely. 'Looks like you're kinda short on friends at the moment, and that arm needs seeing to. Why don't you come with us?'

Unsure of what to do, he reached down and helped Loki to his feet, the red cape dropping forgotten to the dirt. Loki pushed weakly at him.

'Brother, let's not,' he whispered, 'Let's not go with them. They do not mean well.'

'It'll be alright, Loki,' Thor replied unconsciously.

'If you're not careful, those wounds might contract infection,' Fury prompted him. Thor hesitated.

'Thor, brother, let's go back. Let's go back to Stark and Banner and the soldier. We'll be fine there. Brother, please, I don't want to go with them!'

'Don't be foolish, Loki. They are my friends. Come along.'

'Thor, _I want to go back!_ Thor, please!'

It was as they were boarding the waiting aircraft that Loki began to physically fight back, causing Thor to stumble. Feeling irritated now, he shrugged the clinging hand off and turned away, his mind too tired to think, as S.H.I.E.L.D. agents bundled Loki into the back of the aircraft.

'There's nothing to be afraid of, Loki. It'll be alright. Get some rest and we'll speak again once you're better.'


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: So, this chapter kinda hurt to write, but it had to happen...I'm not too satisfied with it but hopefully you'll enjoy. Lots of thanks to reviewers EvilConcubine, Guest, Potkanka, THORKISUPPORT, Aquarinus, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, Guest, DarkSkyDepth, darkshinelight, Constance Bonacieux, Guest, Dazja, Autumn, msgone, omgintern3t, ratchetsfangirl, Mikkeneko, TheCresantMoonWolf, , Ynath Esrith, Haruko-Mizumi and Guest, as well as my Fav'ers, Followers and best friend Bomber.**

The flight was blessedly uneventful. After an hour he asked to see Loki, but was told that they had been forced to sedate Loki for his own good, and that he would have to wait until Loki had woken up before seeing him. Thor accepted this without challenge. He took advantage of the peace and quiet to sleep, and didn't wake until they had touched down – not on the Helicarrier as he had expecte, but on a small island. A few oases of sparse vegetation did nothing to lessen the harshness of the rocky landscape, the monotony of which as broken only by a bleak, unfriendly-looking concrete building.

'Where are we?' he asked Fury.

'A secure place. You should leave – it looks like you have some issues to straighten out with the rest of the team.'

'Not before I've seen my brother.'

'Unfortunately we had to double the sedatives. It'll be a while before he wakes up.'

'Still, I would see him first, before I leave.'

'Trust me, he's not going anywhere. It's more important that you make amends with the team. You've caused quite a lot of fraction. Loki will still be here when you get back.'

It seemed reasonable to Thor, so with little more than a slight sense of uneasiness, he left the island and Loki. Arriving back at the Malibu mansion the next morning, he hesitated before crossing the threshold, but when no resistence was forthcoming he entered. He found the other Avengers still there. Banner and Rogers looked stressed, the two Agents tense, Stark rather frazzled.

'Thor,' Banner greeted him.

'My friends...What happened to you?'

'Tony got struck by lightning while flying after you,' said Captain America, unable to keep the edge of reproachfulness out of his voice.

'I – That was not my intention, I assure you.'

'Yeah, you've been saying that a lot lately,' said Stark, 'Still, I got fried and Loki got his arm bust and his neck wrung, but hey, you didn't _mean_ any of it, so it's okay...'

'Tony,' Natasha warned him.

'I thought you had merely given up the chase, I did not know you were struck. If I had, I would've returned at once,' said Thor.

'How are you and Loki?' Banner interrupted before the quarrel could escalate. 'Where are you staying?'

'Nowhere.'

'But what about Loki? Where will he stay?'

'I did not know where to take him. S.H.I.E.L.D. offered us shelter, so I accepted.'

'And you left Loki with them?' Banner said incredulously.

'Fury came to me as a friend,' he said, 'I trusted him...I trusted Loki to his custody and care...' In the silence, Thor was hit by the illogicality and inexcusable foolishness of what he had done.

'Right,' said Rogers decisively, 'No time to lose. Gear up.'

Thor remembered the way to the island well enough to guide them, and the Quinjet carried the six of them to Loki's holding facility. As they neared their destination, Rogers was dictating their plan of attack.

'Romanoff, Barton, you stay airborne and lay down covering fire. We're going to need it. Loki's going to be vulnerable and they're going to be targeting him, so when we come back out, don't let them get a shot in.'

'Half a dozen S.H.I.E.L.D. aircraft incoming,' said Hawkeye suddenly, 'No, wait, they're passing us by.'

'They're evacuating the island,' Rogers realised, 'Why?'

''Cause we're coming?'

Suddenly their earpieces crackled. There were a few seconds of static and white noise, and then Director Fury was speaking to them.

'Avengers, please turn back now. We aren't your enemies and don't wish to be. But we will not under any circumstances allow Loki's release. If you do not turn back, we will be forced to take drastic and regrettable measures.'

'He's not dangerous!' Rogers exclaimed.

'Not dangerous? He killed four of our Agents just trying to get him into a cell. And you think he's helpless?'

'He's just scared out of his mind! We're not going home without him.'

'Then you leave us no choice. The command has been issued. One-hundred-and-twenty seconds until detonation. Avengers, turn back now. I do _not_ want to see you six killed. You _must_ turn back now – '

Thor was at the window, watching the multitude of aircraft depart. From afar, he saw one of them unleash its load: two missiles, leaving trails of smoke as they streaked almost gracefully across the sky. Towards them. Towards the island. Towards Loki.

'Shit – ' Iron Man and Thor leapt from the Quinjet at the same moment. Iron Man headed for the oncoming missiles, but Thor whirled Mjölnir and flew as fast as he could in the opposite direction – towards the island. 'Thor, wait! I can't stop them both! Help me with these!'

Heedless of the voice in his ear, Thor came to ground on the barren rocks finding the facility deserted. His path was clear – nobody was here to oppose him. As he hammered at a steel barrier, thick as a blast-door, he could barely hear Captain Rogers shouting over the noise via the comms:

'Tony can only divert one missile, the other's still coming straight at you! You aren't going to make it out in time! Turn back now and we'll pick you up.'

Doubling his efforts, he beat down the door and raced desperately down the passageway. He heard a roar behind him, and suddenly the Hulk was there, dripping wet from jumping into the ocean.

'What are you doing here?' Thor demanded.

'_Help_.'

'Time is running out.' Suddenly he rounded on the Hulk and yelled at it, 'Go!' The giant beast snarled at him in confusion and denial. 'Go! Now!' Thor raised Mjölnir threateningly. 'I said, go! You cannot survive this.'

'_I can_.'

'If any of us die, I would have it be me, not you.'

'_No_.' Banner shook his head.

Then, in the distance, they heard a voice raised in panic. Loki had heard the Hulk roar and was calling for help. Thor began to run.

'Loki!'

'_Thor! THOR! Brother!_'

Doors and solid concrete walls resisted them; Mjölnir and the Hulk battered them aside unstoppably, clearing their path. Thor flew ahead, soon leaving the Hulk behind, as the wild screaming descended into frantic, wordless terror. His earpiece crackled.

'Bruce, Thor,' he could hear the pain in Romanoff's voice, 'We're turning back. Do you understand? We're turning back. We're leaving. We're going to circle around for any sign of you. Thor, Bruce, please answer.'

Thor never forgot, afterwards, how they stayed until the end, until the last moment when they were forced to flee for their lives. Ripping out his earpiece, he felt truly alone now. To his horror, the cries had ceased – Loki had gone silent. In the terrible hush, Thor screamed his name in dread, straining his ears for any response. The concrete passages closed in on him; suddenly lost, he had no idea which way to go. S.H.I.E.L.D. was gone, the Avengers were gone. The island was empty except for him and Loki. How many seconds did he have left?

'Loki, where are you?' he shouted.

'_Thor! Help me!_'

The voice was close by, just on the other side of those doors. Thor lunged for them.

'Brother! I'm here, Loki, I'm here – '

_Never doubt that I love you._

The missile detonated.

Bursting through the doors just as they disintegrated, he snatched a final glimpse of his brother, chained and impaled to the floor for good measure. Loki's pale hand reached for him and then, for the very briefest of instants, so fleeting it barely registered, he saw Loki's incineration. Then a blinding light swallowed them both up.

The God of Thunder awoke to an ache pervading the entirety of his body and the sight of Stark Tower's medical bay. The first thing he saw upon opening his eyes were his five friends, sitting or standing around him. All of them looked exhausted and dispirited – Banner was especially haggard. It took several attempts for Thor's voice to find its way out of his sore throat.

'Where is he?' he croaked.

'Take it easy, Thor. You've been unconscious for a while.'

'What happened?'

'I only managed to redirect one missile into the ocean. The other one levelled the entire place,' said Stark, 'The island's pretty much an underwater crater now. It took nearly two days to dig you out of the rubble, even with the Hulk helping out.'

'Where is Loki?' He caught them exchanging glances. There was something they were reluctant to tell him. 'Is he wounded?' Fearing the worst, Thor sat up immediately, seeing as he did so his own hands pushing at the soft sheets; his skin was reddened, raw and shiny. Loki was almost as resilient as he was, but even the most powerful Asgardian could be crippled or disfigured beyond healing – Father's right eye was proof of that. Were Loki's burns incurable? Had he lost a limb? 'How severe are his injuries? Tell me.'

'Thor...Loki – didn't make it.'

'What?' He realised she was holding his hand in both of hers. It was so unexpectedly tender a gesture, he stopped and searched her face.

'He didn't make it. He's dead.'

Thor did not move. The words simply made no sense – impossible, inconceivable. Loki was never dead. In fact, Thor felt quite confident that he was still alive. Pushing back the covers, he rose from the gurney, a little unsteady on his feet at first, and made for the door.

'Show me to him. I must see him.'

Rogers said softly:

'Thor, Loki died.'

The captain's quiet, honest voice stopped Thor in his tracks, the world collapsing around him. Turning, and seeing them all standing there, he saw the undeniable truth spelled out on their faces. Still, he would not accept it. He stared at them.

'You are lying to me. Why? Why would you tell me such lies?'

'Thor, listen – We searched, but there was nothing but ashes.'

'You are mistaken. Believe me, you are mistaken,' Thor insisted, not listening, 'Loki is not so easy to kill. No, he must still be there. Still trapped, buried. You're just not looking hard enough. We must find him before – '

'Thor,' Banner interrupted, 'You, me and Loki took the brunt of the explosion. I was okay, but when we found you, you were messed up really badly – and I mean _really_ badly. You were mending, but not fast enough. I knew the pain would be unbearable when you woke up, so I put you in a medically induced coma until the worst of it was healed. Then infection set in, so I had to prolong it...What I'm trying to say is, the explosion was a long time ago.'

Thor sank against the nearest wall to support himself. He gazed uncomprehendingly at the floor.

'I'm sorry, Thor. Here.' Agent Romanoff handed him what at first looked like a lump of metal, until he made out the remains of an ornate blade. One of Loki's little knives, melted beyond recognition. 'While we were searching for you, we found this in the rubble. I think he died fighting,' she said, as if that was any consolation, as if _anything_ in the world could console him.

_No. He didn't die fighting. He died trying desperately to defend himself. Because I was not there to protect him like I should've been. Because of __**me**__._

'You did everything you could to reach him, and I'm sure he knew that. We're so sorry, Thor. We're so, so sorry. If there's anything we can do...'

Thor felt a great scream of anguish well up in his chest, but it died away into nothingness as the realisation sank in, and suddenly even the relief of outward expression of sorrow was impossible. It would be a long time before Thor spoke again.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Thanks to EvilConcubine, Guest, CatGirl04, Mikkeneko, MilkyWayGalaxy, Guest, HalfAsleepWriter, CharmingChick333, DarkSkyDepth, irinab, Autumn, Alice Nightray, THORKISUPPORT, Aquarinus, jacquelinelittle, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, Guest, Constance Bonacieux, smiling-is-my-favorite-pastime, Dazja, .GrapplingGun4085, XxLokiLaufeysonxX, Tabbycat948, Potkanka, oOo, Ratchetsfangirl, Guest, Melting Angels (**_**twice xD**_**), Haruko-Mizumi, My-chan, TheCresantMoonWolf, Ynath Esrith, Lexi and TheRedDragonEnforcer4 for reviewing. :-)**

**I thought I might say, because it's been suggested several times before, that in my personal head Loki doesn't have kids. Sorry but unfortunately I just don't see him as a father, or cheating death as that easy.**

**Incidentally, I just learned that in The Avengers, Thor has Loki's horned helmet motif carved on his vambraces: a kind of Norse way of carrying dead loved ones into battle. *Mind blown by FEELS*. Ahem, just had to get that off my chest...**

Loki woke from his drugged stupor to find himself surrounded by featureless concrete walls, a single electric light glaring down on him. As he stirred, shackles clanked and rattled around his limbs; the chains, when he tugged at them, refused to give and seemed to be built into the room itself. Dazed, he managed to stand, and pressed himself into a corner. He surmised that this was not a permanent prison cell, merely somewhere to wait while they found him one.

Claustrophobia had never bothered Loki, but as the silence of solitude pressed in on him he struggled not to hyperventilate. Not since Barton had pinned him to the floor had he been trapped, and not since the Chitauri had he been chained. Where was Thor? Loki almost began to cry, but managed not to. His captors might visit him at any moment, and he did not want Director Fury to walk in and witness him snivelling.

Loki began to take stock of the situation, counting the things he had to be grateful for. He was not dead. He was not being tortured yet. There was still a chance that Thor might come, and then Loki might be able to reason with him. Too weary to pace, and trying to conserve his strength, he sat down in the corner.

He had killed four of the Midgardians, he remembered that much. The sedatives had not been strong enough, and as they were carrying him through the facility, he had begun to fight back. Even one-armed, he had managed to lash out with all the strength fear could offer him, before something sharp had entered his neck and sent him back into blackness. He cursed himself for hurting the humans – it would only make it harder for Thor to understand how sorry he was.

The doors unlocked and opened, and he found himself at gunpoint. Loki moved away until the chains were taut and he slipped to the floor. The Agents' faces were hidden beneath their helmet visors, but he could almost hear their hearts thudding; they were as frightened as he was. Loki tried to give them a disarming smile. _I just killed their friends..._

'There's no time to transport him...'

Flat on his back, Loki raised his shackled hands in surrender. The barrel of more than one gun was shoved against his head. Panicking, Loki began to pull against his restraints. _I have to get out of here, I have to get out_ –

'Hold still! He's going to get loose before we've even left the building.'

_They're leaving? What's happening?_ Abruptly one of the chains snapped loose, the metal spike which secured it to the room's structure pulling free of the concrete. The unexpected lack of resistence made him collapse. Part of him knew there was nothing more he could do to free himself.

'No he _won't_ – ' One of the Agents lowered his gun and stepped up to Loki. He was a big man and at that moment in Loki's life was stronger than the Asgardian. 'Damn it. _You_ – ' Grabbing the spike, he rammed it point-first through Loki's defenceless side, penetrating Loki's weak magical defences, bypassing nigh-indestructible bone to pass through flesh, so hard the steel tip cracked the concrete, ' – You _stay_ – '

Loki screamed and the man stumbled. In frustration, he stomped on the steel until it became embedded. Within seconds they were gone and Loki was left alone. Loki couldn't begin to move. His side was trying and failing to heal, blood pooling in the crack which now ran through the concrete, and it hurt so much he could barely even breathe and he was ready to pass out. Eventually he managed to recover a little, drawing in deep breaths to steady himself.

He heard a deafening roar in the distance. Banner had come for him? Wild hope surged within Loki; the doctor at least had not abandoned him. And perhaps he did not come alone – perhaps he brought the others with him...Stark...Thor...

'Please...' With his good hand, Loki scratched at the metal encircling his broken arm, unable to find a chink to pry the shackles off. 'Banner!' he screamed as loud as he could, straining his throat raw, 'Help me!'

'_Loki!_' Was that Thor's voice? Thor was coming, Thor hadn't left him after all, Thor would _never_ leave him...

'Thor! THOR! Brother!' Loki began crying out wordlessly in pure panic and horror, until his screaming exertions shifted the metal spike inside him. Nearly insensible, he lay there.

'_Loki, where are you?_' he heard his brother's voice, so close it made his heart jump.

'Thor! Help me!' Loki begged.

'_Brother! I'm here, Loki, I'm here – _'

The doors opened and there was Thor – Loki reached uselessly across the floor towards him, and then the fabric of the world seemed to tear apart at the seams. For a fraction of a heartbeat, there was pure agony, his whole body on fire inside and out; and then he was cut loose, drifting away into a bright light and a soft silence where nothing could hurt him anymore.

A few weeks after Thor awoke from his induced coma, The All-Father finally brought him home. A great dark rift opened above Stark Tower and hung there, ready and waiting for him. Last time, Thor had left Earth in grim victory; this time, in subdued desolation. He bid his friends farewell with little ceremony.

'Will you come back?' asked Steve.

'If ever you have need of me, I will be there. But otherwise...my friends...I will not return to the realm in which my brother died.'

Thor had not eaten or slept since Loki's death, and looked pale, even gaunt. Romanoff gave him a brief hug. Banner gripped his hand. Stark and Rogers both patted his shoulder, and so, after a second's hesitation, did Barton. Looking around at them, Thor wondered, _Will they still be alive when I return? I could remain on Asgard, and by the time I return, everyone I know will be dead and all their troubles will have passed._

'Goodbye, my friends. Be safe and well.'

'Take care of yourself,' Romanoff replied, and then he flew up into the rift and let dark energy carry him home, unresisting.

The glimmer of Asgard held no brightness for Thor, nor Odin's greeting embrace any comfort.

'Father. Loki is...'

'I know. Heimdall saw.'

Speaking took so much effort, and he could not yet bring himself to face the grief clawing his heart to shreds. They walked together in silence before Thor, longing for isolation, went indoors, dismissing the servants who tried to help him settle down and remove his armour and cape. To his great relief, there were no clamouring crowds to meet him; even the Warriors Three had not been notified of his return yet. He was left in peace. As he walked the shadows in the gleaming gold halls, he remembered: _Loki walked these halls...his nose buried in a book, or just pacing thoughtfully. We ran here as children. We played hide-and-seek and he always won._

His feet carried him to Loki's bed-chambers – a place he had frequented as a child, but had learned to leave alone once Loki had grown up to be secretive and solitary. Dust lay thick on the multitude of books and scrolls. He found no childhood toys, no memories; Loki had not kept any sentimental keepsakes. The gold-embroidered green bed-sheets were neat and undisturbed. This bed would be cold forever, the only thing to warm it the rays of sunlight through the window. Loki would never sleep here again._ Loki is gone. Jane is gone. Loki is gone. Everything is gone._

'Loki?' he simply asked aloud, as if Loki would appear. He almost expected it – hoped against hope that a shimmering golden replica would step from the shadows, or even Loki himself in the flesh. But there was nothing but emptiness.For the second time, he mourned for his dead brother.

Eventually his mother sought him out. Frigga entered, angelic as always with her golden hair and softly rustling gown.

'Son. I've been looking for you. Have you been avoiding me?'

'Mother. The humans...Loki...'

'I know,' she struggled to keep her composure, swallowing back tears, 'I dreamed it. A flash of...' She could not bring herself to say "pain", not wanting to torment Thor with the knowledge that Loki had died in agony.

'He's gone,' said Thor simply, brokenly, 'He's just...gone.'

'My son...' She looked ready to shatter beneath the weight of grief, but for Thor's sake she managed to summon a warm smile, and embraced him. 'My poor boy, you look so pale. Do you need to visit the healing room?'

'No.'

'Thor,' she placed a supportive hand on his shoulder, 'You need not try to hide your grief.'

'I am not.' In his mother's embrace he would've wept as he had when Loki had first fallen from the Bifrost, but this time his eyes were dry and his voice steady. All the tears in the Nine Realms could not have relieved his grief. 'Mother.' Despite the words he proceeded to say, there was no anger in his voice. 'Could Father not have brought me home earlier? Loki would've been with me, and he would still be alive...'

'Thor.' Frigga took his face in both her hands. 'When the Tesseract failed to deliver you, your Father worked day and night to bring you home.'

'In the end it was not enough to save Loki,' Thor said flatly, almost harshly, 'I hurt Loki, and he died before we could reconcile. I failed him. And I failed you too, for losing your second son.'

'You've failed nobody.'

'Do not try to spare me the blame, Mother. I know it's mine.'

'At least share it with us. We were responsible for Loki as much as you were – if not _more_, for we raised you both.'

'And he loved you, but he trusted me most. And I did not live up to that trust. It's all over. I am returned from Midgard alone, and I am _never going back_.'

'Sir,' Agent Hill walked up behind Director Fury, 'The Avengers are down to five. Thor has gone home. We can leave him alone, we owe him that much.'

'It was a necessary measure – and effective. Does he intend to return in the future?'

'Only if Earth needs him.'

'Earth won't need him,' Fury asserted, and turned his gaze to the rows of monitors displaying the Helicarrier's camera feed. 'His type heals quickly. He'll recover sooner or later. And then we'll have to figure out what to do with him.'

He was not referring to Thor.

_The light and silence did not last long enough; consciousness eventually returned. Was he still burning? It felt like it. Parts of him were dead – their nerves burnt away – and refused to move no matter how his brain screamed at him to, but every other centimetre seemed to be on fire. He was a raw piece of meat, the gentle air angrily stinging his exposed flesh and creeping under the bandaging. Every waking moment was pain._

_Sometimes the blessed void would come back, enfolding him like an embrace, a relief for which he was grateful; but for the rest of the time, he was agonisingly conscious. During one of the lucid periods, he found a tiny degree of mobility, and stirred weakly on the soft surface on which he lay, breathing raggedly into seared lungs as dry as desert sand, and trying uselessly to move. He couldn't feel his hands; if he could, he would've known he was chained._

_Something smelled like charred meat, and it took him a while to figure out it was himself. His neck ached from the angle at which he lay. With great difficulty he turned his head slightly to the side – realising as his face dragged along the pillow that his hair was gone, along with most of his skin – and opened his eyes, relieved to find his eyelids still worked, but he could not see. Loki was blind._


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: My muse seems to be running out :-(. Thanks to reviewers EvilConcubine, Guest, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, DarkSkyDepth, Ynath Esrith, Aquarinus, MilkyWayGalaxy, Autumn (**_**I was Googling Loki and Thor's armours/costumes :oD. I wish they'd mentioned it in the film though, that would've been sweet**_**...), jacquelinelittle, Alice Nightray, Constance Bonacieux, Guest, smiling-is-my-favorite-pastime, DaiKuro-chan, Dazja, msgone, ratchetsfangirl, Guest, Haruko-Mizumi, My-chan, TheCresantMoonWolf (**_**cool :oD!**_**), TheRedDragonEnforcer4, Potkanka, but-the-clouds, sol goddess, Guest, Lynn92 and Queen Morrigan, to my Fav'ers and Followers and bestie Bomber.**

When Thor came to him, Heimdall's unblinking gaze was turned towards the void, watching night fall over some faroff realm.

Thor wasn't sure how many times the sun had set and risen since his return to Asgard. Lady Sif and the Warriors Three had visited him, ready to welcome him cheerfully, only to learn of what had happened to Loki. They comforted him, but he could tell from their faces that he was alone in his grief; Loki had truly had no friends in his lonely life. Volstagg had tried to entice him to eat, and Fandral had urged him to come for a horseback ride and let the fresh air do him good, but all Thor would do was sit and think of his dead brother.

'Heimdall,' he said to the sentry. 'Did you see everything?'

The sentry knew what he asked.

'Most, but not all. I have stood and watched wars be waged and civilisations burn, but that does not mean I take pleasure in being a silent spectator. Several times I averted my gaze from Loki's suffering and your grief. He deserved his dignity and you your privacy.'

'But still, you saw my neglect of him? My failure to protect him?'

'I did,' Heimdall acknowledged.

'And you saw my hatred.'

'I saw only your actions; I cannot read your mind. I may be nigh-on all-seeing but I am not all-knowing.'

'Did you too despise Loki? Like so many others did?'

'It is my duty to defend Asgard. Personal feeling is not part of the equation.'

'But did you?'

'No.' Heimdall's golden eyes broke from the void to turn to Thor. 'He was a betrayer of the realm and of his loved ones, but I did not despise him. I was disappointed in the path he chose, and I wished for his defeat while he threatened Midgard, but in the end I pitied him for his pain.'

'I shall not forgive myself,' said Thor, 'First he let go – let himself fall into nothingness – and I tormented myself knowing that if we had been but a little closer, I could've caught him by the hand. Now I torment myself with the knowledge that I am the one who put him in the hands of those who killed him.'

'Do you hate Midgard?'

'I have tried to. But there are too many good people – too many good friends – too many wonderful things there.'

'Then your grief, though deep, is not all-consuming.'

Thor knew better than to feel offended; Heimdall was wiser than he. Looking down into the abyss, he saw only darkness strewn with stars and swirls of vibrant colour, and it seemed only yesterday that Loki had first fallen into the wormhole. For a long moment, Thor considered asking Heimdall to look Earthwards and tell him how his friends were; but he did not trust himself to speak again without his voice cracking, so he remained silent.

Another battered punching-bag hit the floor before Steve broke off from his stress-relieving exercise to grab another drink. It wasn't like Cap to drink heavily, and Natasha was watching him with quiet concern. Stark, in comparison, wasn't drinking at all, instead sitting staring at nothing. He and Banner had been hit hardest by Loki's death and Thor's subsequent departure; the doctor had withdrawn to his quarters and not emerged all day.

'It's my fault,' said Steve abruptly, his voice wet from vodka, 'I was the one who wanted to go charging in there. We could've talked it through and found a way to negotiate Loki's release, but instead I had to go lead an attack – '

'That's such bullshit, Rogers. You did the same thing any of us would've done...And we didn't exactly discourage you. Everyone wanted to get Loki out of there.'

Steve drained the rest of his glass and slammed it down.

'What the hell are we doing here?' he demanded. 'Why the hell aren't we taking S.H.I.E.L.D. up on this?'

'Because it wouldn't do any good. They took a precaution they thought was necessary.'

'Thor and Loki deserve justice.'

'The thing about justice is it's always too late. Wiping out S.H.I.E.L.D. isn't going to bring Loki back, and it most definitely isn't going to allay anybody's conscience.'

Clint Barton, watching from a distance, said nothing. Rising, Romanoff approached him and slid herself into an empty seat beside him.

'I can always tell when you've got a bad feeling,' she said, 'You okay?'

'I'm fine. To be honest, I'm the last person you should be caring about. I can't pretend I liked Loki.' _Well, at least he's being honest_. Natasha bit back her reply. Barton hesitated, then said, 'Nat...do you think there's any chance Loki's still alive?'

'Of course it occurred to me. But if being hit by a missile didn't kill him, being buried probably did. It damn near killed Thor, and Thor's the strong one.'

' "_Probably_" – exactly. If the battle in Manhattan and the Chitauri's torture proved anything, it's that Loki is one resilient bastard.'

'Resilient, but not invincible. If the Hulk had kept at it, and if we hadn't rescued him, he'd have died both times.'

'Still, he's tough enough to survive most things, right?'

She turned to face him, giving him a searching look that was slightly distrustful.

'Do you know something we don't, Clint?'

'No.' He was telling the truth, and she could see it. 'It's just that...S.H.I.E.L.D. have ways of getting pretty much anything they want, whenever they want.'

'Are you suggesting they have Loki?' said Natasha incredulously.

'I'm saying we shouldn't rule it out. A lot of things are possible.'

'So what should we do?' said Natasha, 'S.H.I.E.L.D. isn't to be screwed with. If Stark puts J.A.R.V.I.S. on the case, they'd sniff us out in a second. We can search for a year and not find a trace of Loki.'

'Well, we can start by pitching the idea to the others.'


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Sorry it's taking me a while to write *grumble grumble*. Anyway, thanks to reviewers Potkanka, EvilConcubine, Guest, Me, Aquarinus, THORKISUPPORT, CharmingChick333, ratchetsfangirl, Autumn, My-chan, DarkSkyDepth, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, TheCresantMoonWolf, Haruko-Mizumi, jaquelinelittle, but-the-clouds and JustAnotherOneWay, my Fav'ers, Followers and beta Bomber xo).**

Half-paralysed, all he could was lie there, drawing in breath after hoarse, scratchy breath. Worse than immobility, worse than the silence and solitude, worse even than the pain, was lucidity – the full awareness of what was happening to him. He would've given anything for it to stop. He would've given everything to be safe in his brother's arms.

At some point somebody entered and unchained him. Water was poured into his mouth, followed by something sweet-sour and too hot. Loki was glad when it stopped and he was left alone again, free to move about.

Gradually, feeling and movement was returning to his limbs, and he began to stir. Reaching up to feel his head, checking his eyes were still there and searching for his hair, he almost screamed in overwhelming horror. He tried to summon his magic, to heal faster, but the power evaded him. He wasn't a god any more. He was a burnt piece of meat.

_Thor..._

By sheer willpower, he rolled over onto his side, only to slip off the bed. He fell into the sound of birdsong and the soothing roar of Asgard's waterfalls. Through the blackness which now veiled his perception of the world, flashes of golden sunshine glimmered. He didn't get to enjoy the softness of the grass for long before he heard Thor's voice calling for him, strangely young-sounding – Thor as a boy.

'_Loki, get up! This is no time to lie down! Sif is going to win the race!_'

He did his best to rise, to please his brother, but instead broke the surface of consciousness and woke to a blinding pain.

_Thor..._

He tried to stand up and walk, but instead found himself crawling, his crippled leg trailing behind him. Unseeing, his raw palms came up against something hard and unyielding in front of him. For a minute he was confused, thinking he had fallen again and touched the floor, before realising he had encountered a wall. Wheezing, he groped his way along it until he came to the corner, but after several minutes of struggling he concluded that there was no door. He was locked in a box of a room with no way out. Shivering behind the flimsy paper thing he was wearing, he curled up against the wall.

_Not more pain. I can't take any more pain._

The next time he sank was into the scent of metal and leather, and the cradle of a strong body. Arms supported him and he could not have distrusted them if he wanted to, let alone resisted. Warm hands, unused to gentleness but trying their best to be tender, stroked his head.

'You're alright, brother, you're alright. I'm here and I'm going to take care of you. You're strong and you're going to be alright...' Thor's voice whispered comforting nothings and sweet untruths in his ear.

'But it hurts,' Loki complained, his voice a soft wheeze, his eyes moving blindly. 'It hurts so much.'

Loki had never been the strong one – just a backstabbing liar. Thor had always been the courageous one, the honourable one, with a sense of chivalry so romantic and a love so blind Loki couldn't fathom how he managed to pass through life without becoming a volcano of suppressed anger.

'You're going to survive, Loki.'

Then Thanos' hand closed on his shoulder and pulled him away roughly. Loki tried to curl up on himself, to protect himself from the incoming blow, but it never came.

'_I am going to send you back to Midgard, to the Tower of the mortals' defenders. Your brother is there. I want you to go to him and beg his forgiveness, and when he gives it to you, betray him. I want you to look him in the eye, and see his love for you die. Do you understand?_'

'No!' Loki mouthed. He lifted his head to call for help, trying vainly to see, but as he did so the hallucination dissipated. It was only then that coherence, or some form of it at least, returned to him; he remembered the blast, the burning, the look on Thor's face a split-second before everything was wiped away. Loki realised, for the first time, that he was being held prisoner. _Does Thor know?_

He sat there for what must have been a very long time, because when he next moved, an extra layer of skin-tissue seemed to have taken the edge off the worst of the pain. A scratchy stubble was forming across his scalp as his hair-follicles healed one by one.

_Thor will come._

_No he won't._

_He always does._

_Not this time._

_If he doesn't, I'll die._

_Just as I deserve._

Summoning the strength to move, Loki dragged himself back in what he hoped was the direction of the bed, but finding himself stranded in the middle of an endless floor, he gave up. Collapsing again, he embraced the unconsciousness that came rushing up to meet him.


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: Thank you to intern3t, Lynn92, Dazja, EvilConcubine, Guest, THORKISUPPORT, Aquarinus, Potkanka, Autumn, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, jacquelinelittle, ratchetsfangirl, TheCresantMoonWolf, Haruko-Mizumi, Constance Bonacieux, Fan, My-chan and Mortebella24 for reviewing, my Fav'ers and Followers for Fav'ing and Following, and my squishy Bomber for betaing :o)**

'_I would kill you quietly and quickly, but it's pretty obvious you can't die that easily. After everything you've been through, you're still here. Clinging on like a cockroach. So I guess here is your new home. Once you've healed, you'll be comfortable enough, as long as you're a good prisoner_.'

The voice came from somewhere in the distance, or perhaps from just beside him – vacillating at the fringes of recognition. Loki was back in the bed, his limp hands secured by what he knew to be manacles. He didn't have the strength to turn his head towards the voice, let alone respond to it.

'_I'm not sure you can even hear me. I don't think you're going to remember a single thing I say, five minutes after the fact. If there was a way, I'd be quite happy to dump you on some beach somewhere and let them find you. Let them think you just washed up after the island sank. But the fact of the matter is, you're going to be a threat_.'

Oxygen trickled in and out of Loki's lungs with a faint whistling noise.

'_You might not be dangerous at this exact moment, but when you recover, when you get your magic or whatever bullshit back, you're going to remember who your enemies are. And then the killing starts all over again. Do you see? Men like you don't change. You've shown what you're capable of, and I'm not taking any chances with the security of my planet. Better dead than alive, and better locked up than free_.'

'Please,' Loki tried to mouthe. He wasn't entirely sure what the person was saying or what was happening – only that he was hurt and more frightened than he'd ever been.

'_No hard feelings, Loki_.'

'_Sir?_' Loki could barely make out a second voice, very distant. '_Clint Barton is here. He requests a meeting with you_.'

'_Does he know?_' the first voice asked sharply.

'_If he did, I think he would've brought the rest, sir_.'

Barton? Barton meant the Avengers, and the Avengers meant Thor. Loki wheezed loudly. Forcing himself to move even though he felt like he was pulling himself apart, he tugged against the chains as if he could make his brother hear him from here.

'_Let Barton come onboard. Sedate Loki_.'

A sharp prick in the crook of Loki's elbow eased him into the relief of unconsciousness.

When Director Fury reached the Helicarrier's landing strip, the cold high-altitude air whipping around them, Clint Barton was standing beside his Quinjet. He had his bow and quiver on his back and his usual frown on his face.

'You got something important to say to me, Barton?'

'Depends on how you look at it.'

'I understand Thor has returned to his planet?'

'Yes. He's got nothing to stay here for.'

'If you'd turned back when we warned you, we would not have had to terminate Loki.'

'Terminate's a fancy word for it.'

'I seem to recall that the last time we gave you orders to bring Loki into custody, you were all too happy to oblige. You even went _above and beyond_...'

'Loki was no loss,' said Clint coldly.

'Wasn't it?' Fury's one eye looked him up and down, and then the Director smiled. 'You know,' he said, 'You should've sent Agent Romanoff to play games.'

'What makes you think I'm playing a game?'

'You've got a good poker face, but you don't have her talent for getting information. You and Romanoff have both quit our employ. If Loki's death didn't bother you, you wouldn't be here.'

'So you have information you don't want the Avengers to know?'

'By our very nature, yes.'

'I didn't come here for the sole purpose of antagonising you. The Avengers are over. We're done. One of us is gone and the rest of us either don't trust each other or don't trust ourselves.'

'What are you saying, Barton? You want to work for our organisation again?'

Barton paused, letting the silence drag out for several seconds, as if he were unwilling to continue.

'In a nutshell, yes. Did you think I could just go back to the way things used to be? _This_ is the only way that's worth a damn. Working for S.H.I.E.L.D. _was_ my life.'

'You do realise the rest of your team won't take kindly to your being here?'

'There is no team anymore.'

'You want a clean slate?'

'My slate will never be clean. But a job's a job.'

Director Fury gave him another appraising look.

'I'm guessing residence at Stark Tower isn't an option anymore. Step this way and we'll find you some new quarters.'

'Yes, sir.'

'Welcome back, Agent Barton.'

It wasn't until he was at a distance from Fury that Clint allowed himself to breathe a tiny sigh of relief.

'Clint's on his own now,' said Natasha in the main lobby of Stark Tower, where the remaining four Avengers were gathered, 'They'll be monitoring his every move even after they've made sure they can trust him, so contacting us isn't an option. He can't break his cover until he's absolutely sure he's found something concrete.'

'You sure he can pull off this whole cloak-and-dagger thing?' Tony had his arms folded, hugging himself in a warm jumper and looking like he needed a drink. 'One wrong move and they'll have Clint's head on a spike.'

'Or just discharge him from S.H.I.E.L.D.,' Natasha corrected him. 'But that's the point. If I'd turned up on their doorstep, they'd have smelled immediately that I wasn't to be trusted. They know me and my methods too well.'

'And what if he doesn't find anything? If Loki really is dead?' Bruce suggested heavily. 'Things would be a bit awkward then...'

'We'll cross that bridge when we come to it,' Rogers said. 'At the very least, we'll have the satisfaction of knowing we managed to infiltrate S.H.I.E.L.D.'

'And what about Thor? I've managed to calibrate the amount of energy necessary to light a beacon big enough to get Asgard's attention – if they're as omniscient up there as he says they are.'

'We don't call Thor. Not yet. Maybe not ever. All we have so far is optimism – not even a suspicion, let alone evidence. We can't get the poor guy's hopes up only for it to turn out his brother's dead.'


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: over 500! :oDDD Thank you to Lynn92, THORKISUPPORT, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, Guest, Aquarinus, EvilConcubine, The Pearl Maiden, jaquelinelittle (**_**I'm using film canon rather than comic/mythology canon, and in the films Loki has never shapeshifted, only changed costumes, which isn't truly shapeshifting. Also, Thor and Loki were stuck on Earth with no clue when or how they might get back, if they even could**_**), intern3t, Ynath Esrith, I'mAGeekNotANerd, Guest, My-chan, ratchetsfangirl, TheCresantMoonWolf, Haruko-Mizumi, Autumn, Potkanka, and writingmonkey10 for reviewing.**

Clint slept for two hours and woke to the almost-imperceptible rumble and hum of the Helicarrier. _Home_. As he stared up at the ceiling, the reality of his situation settled on him. _Find out if Loki is alive_ was his only concrete objective. _How_ and _when_ were questions that still needed answering.

He needed to search the Helicarrier. Taking out the security cameras and/or causing a diversion was his first thought, but if suspicious things started happening just hours after he'd set foot onboard, they were bound to know he was behind it. Once he blew his cover, S.H.I.E.L.D. would be a closed door to him. He would only get one shot at this.

Clint made his way from the crew's living quarters, past the sick bay and surgery, up to the mess hall and from there to the forward observation deck. Folding his arms and leaning on the handrail – out of anybody's way but still conspicuous enough to not look too suspicious – he surveyed the hustle and bustle of the control room as if re-acquanting himself with S.H.I.E.L.D. life; but his gaze quickly scanned the various screens which dominated the sleek panels. None of them showed any trace of Loki.

If he were Fury, where would he put Loki? The Helicarrier did have holding cells, but nothing like the one they had designed for the Other Guy – unless they had now built one especially for Loki. It was safe to assume that they had had a special prison ready on the island, but how quickly would they have been able to replicate it? It would have to be a safe distance from S.H.I.E.L.D.'s daily living quarters, but also separate from the control rooms and missile launch pads which made up most of the rest of the Helicarrier. That narrowed it down a little.

Clint considered just walking up and taking the security files he needed – if he looked like he knew what he was doing and was supposed to be here, nobody would question him. But they would still remember seeing him do it...and he hadn't come here to kill anyone.

Turning, Clint walked away. His bow had seen some wear and tear, so he headed down to the armoury to find a new one. As he walked through storage, he glimpsed out of the corner of his eye a large, box-like metal structure in an otherwise completely empty compartment. _The hell is that?_

He lay low for the rest of the day, and the next morning ate breakfast in the mess hall and returned to the observation deck. This time he knew which monitors to keep an eye on – and, tellingly, one room was missing from the security feed. The steel chamber was excluded. There was something they didn't want to be seen. As he headed back to his quarters, he texted Nat:

_Getting lonely on this ship. How does lunch sound?_

After he pressed the Send button and watched the graphics momentarily swirl, he could almost imagine the sudden flurry of activity in some corner of the control-room as his communications were analysed. But strictly speaking he wasn't disobeying anybody, and by the time his superiors told him he had more important things to worry about than dating, Nat would already have received and read the text.

Four minutes hadn't gone by before Maria Hill's barbed voice stopped him in his tracks.

'You going somewhere, Agent Barton?' She was standing with her arms crossed.

'No. Why do you say that?'

'I figured you might be having some difficulties readjusting to S.H.I.E.L.D. life after...after your long vacation.'

'Like I said. S.H.I.E.L.D.'s where I belong.'

'Still, I'm sorry your new quarters are no substitute for Stark Tower's penthouse suite.'

Clint seriously considered flipping her the bird.

'Thor had the penthouse. I was one floor down.'

'It's good having you back. Agents like you are hard to come by,' Hill said, but the look she gave him said otherwise. He gave her an equally chilly smile.

'It's good to be back, too.' Giving her a nod, he turned his back and walked away.

At exactly noon, hell broke loose above their heads. Alarms blared, and over the intercom he could hear gunfire, shouted orders, and the familiar sound of Iron Man's repulsor beams. Presumably Tony was causing minimum damage to human life and maximum damage to their air traffic control, communications tower and antennae masts.

With his bow and quiver on his back, a handgun at his belt and a knife on his other hip, Barton made his way back down to storage, taking advantage of the confusion. A team of Agents ran past him; Clint walked purposefully past them, only to break into a sprint once he was out of their sight. Unholstering his gun and clicking off the safety catch, he entered the off-limits storage compartment. Inside a glass enclosure was a large steel crate, maybe twenty feet square – a box within a box. He made short work of the locking system, swiftly dismantling both key-pads and carefully cutting wires. Accessing the crate, he first found himself in a small, sealed antechamber, and then in the cell itself.

The cell was little more than a blank white cube, and its only occupant was lying on a horizontal metal slab in the middle. Beneath a paper gown, its skin was red and black with patches of raw, shiny pink. _Surely_ that couldn't be a living thing, it must be some kind of grotesque medical mannequin – but no, its chest was rising and falling in a labouring, arrhythmic motion, and as Clint approached, it began to emit a frightened mewling.

Reaching the bed, Barton stared down at him, recognising Loki's face, there beneath the burns. Quickly recovering, Clint glanced around. He had nothing to wrap Loki in, and no wheelchair or gurney to wheel him out on. Loki would be too cumbersome to carry.

'I've come to get you out of here. Can you walk?' he said.

Loki sat up, his hands feeling for the edges of the slab. His eyes kept opening and closing unseeingly; Clint though he might be disorientated, but he seemed completely alert and aware.

'Hey. Recognise me?' Clint waved a hand in front of Loki's face, but as the Asgardian's eyes continued to wander without focusing on anything, he realised Loki couldn't see. 'Damn...'

He had no time to waste. Wincing, he pulled Loki's arm around his shoulders, ignoring the surge of whimpering and the sight of the god's burnt legs and feet. Loki, six inches taller than Barton, sagged, his head hanging against Clint's shoulder and his hoarse, irregular breathing husking in Clint's ear.

'If you want to get out of here alive, do everything I tell you. _Every damn thing_, understand?'

He led Loki out of the containment area towards the nearest elevator, which was their best bet of reaching the flight deck. The going was agonisingly slow as Loki stumbled along; several times he collapsed to his knees and Barton had to pull him to his feet, alternating between coaxing and commanding.

'Keep going, we're nearly there,' Clint lied, listening to the sounds of chaos drawing nearer and nearer as they ascended. God, Loki was heavy. At first they passed unnoticed in the furore; then somebody shouted after him, and seconds later people were firing, bullet-holes pockmarking the walls. Loki, blind and bewildered, didn't see it coming, and a bullet punched into him, eliciting a loud wheeze.

'Shit – ' Barton pushed him out of the way. 'Keep your head down!'

Dropping Loki behind cover, Clint unhooked his bow and nocked an arrow. Hardening his conscience, he single-handedly cleared the corridor, every arrowhead finding its mark. A splash of colour caught his eye through the window and he realised coloured flares were being let off outside; they were followed a moment later by Nat's Quinjet passing by, trying to get his attention.

God, Loki was heavy. He realised that they weren't going to make it to the elevator in time; and even if they did reach the flight deck, they would never make it off the runway in one piece.

'There's our exit. Move!'

Half-supporting and half-dragging Loki, Barton realised that they weren't going to make it to the elevator in time; and even if they did reach the flight deck, they would never make it off the runway in one piece. It occurred to him that he was most likely going to die for Loki, and he questioned bitterly why he'd gotten himself into this. Suddenly, a volley of RPGs ripped a jagged tear in the wall. Nat's Quinjet was below them and about forty feet out. Its door was open and Steve was waving to them from inside.

'I don't have a free hand. You're going to have to hold onto me.' Clint's shout was drowned out by the high-altitude winds which were now whipping deafeningly around them, small objects being sucked out of the hole in the hull, and he had to repeat himself. Afixing a cord to his belt, Clint grabbed both of Loki's arms and pulled them around himself, commanding: 'Hold on as tight as you can and do _not_ let go of me!'

His only response was the feel of Loki's fingers weakly clenching in his jacket. Taking a deep breath, Clint jumped, taking Loki with him, and as he fell aimed and fired a grappling-hook, which latched onto the Helicarrier's hull. His left hand now empty, he slipped his arm around Loki. He glimpsed Fury above them, a gleam of a blade in his hand, and then the cord went slack as it was abruptly cut.

They fell together in the shadow of the Helicarrier: two lives hanging by a rapidly unravelling thread. Nat was fast, but Tony was faster. Iron Man caught them in midair as they fell, and all three of them hit the floor of the Quinjet in a pile as the aircraft veered to catch them. Clint and Loki's mutual grip broke apart. Clint rolled before coming to a stop with a grunt, but Loki lay motionless where he'd landed. Bruce was immediately beside him, managing to keep his countenance clear of shock or horror as he checked Loki's condition.

'Shit,' Steve said as he took in what was left of Loki's face. 'Thor isn't going to take this well.'

'Still, I did good, right?' Barton panted from the floor as he detached himself and Loki from the severed rope.

'Pretty good,' Nat replied, then pressed her earpiece. 'Tony, we have Loki. Pull back now.'

'If we get him back to base in time, I think he'll make it,' said Bruce, positioning Loki's head to open his airways.

'I don't think we will,' said Clint, staring up at the Helicarrier. The vast ship was slowly turning, like a planet in orbit, and fighter planes were taking off like a flock of birds into the sky, heading towards them.


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: Lots of thank yous to EvilConcubine, THORKISUPPORT, Fan, Ynath Esrith, MilkyWayGalaxy, Lynn92, Autumn, msgone, AvengersJunkie, jaquelinelittle, Guest, Constance Bonacieux, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, Guest, ratchetsfangirl, Aquarinus, writingmonkey10, My-chan, angrbodagiantess, CharmingChick333, The Pearl Maiden, Haruko-Mizumi and TheCresantMoonWolf for reviewing. Some of the things you guys said made me feel particularly fuzzy and warm. I appreciate it. Also thanks to my Fav'ers and Followers.**

**Christmas ain't getting off to a great start in my house...snappy shouty parents and no gifts :-/. Anyway, Happy Holidays & Merry Christmas, Avengers fandom. :oD Here's your present (y'know, that awkward lame present you don't want but can't give back x-D)**

'Step on it, Nat.'

'I am stepping on it.' The Quinjet, pathetically outnumbered by the air-fleet now pursuing it, was roaring along at maximum speed. 'They already have missile locks on me,' Romanoff reported as she entered evasive manoeuvres. 'Once they get within shooting distance, we're not going to stand a damn chance. Clint, get up here, I need a co-pilot.'

Banner was struggling to keep Loki from lolling about. Wrapping him in a blanket, he lifted his limp form up onto the seats and began strapping him in.

'Clint, hurry, I need you up here. Clint?'

Barton wasn't responding, instead staring at the sky.

'That weather looks kind of unseasonal,' he said.

Captain America joined him and realised angry storm-clouds were gathering overhead, forboding grey darkening into a grim black. Then, there it was: a glint of metal and a flash of a red cape. Steve wasn't sure whether to thank goodness or shit bricks. The air crackled with electricity; in a terrifying spectacle, missiles and fighter jets alike were struck down by lightning; parachutes were visible as pilots ejected into the ocean. The Quinjet veered to avoid the flying debris.

'Shall I turn back?' Romanoff yelled.

'No, keep going!' Hawkeye answered as he strapped himself into the seat next to her, 'Getting out of here's our priority. Let Thor tear some shit up in the meantime if that's what he finds cathartic.'

Thor was berserk, striking the Helicarrier over and over with his hammer, roaring.

'Thor!' Iron Man yelled, his voice lost in the din, knowing there wasn't a damn chance Thor would be able to hear him. 'Cut it out! Thor, Loki's not in the Helicarrier! He's safe, he's with us! Stop!'

But he couldn't reach Thor through his blind rage. They were flying, following the contours of the Helicarrier's exterior, Thor in the lead and Iron Man chasing him. _Thor's wasting his strength, the Helicarrier can't possibly go down, it's too big_; but then Iron Man realised what Thor was doing: targeting the engines. He was going to bring down the whole thing into the water. Lightning blazed in a dazzling display, and one of the turbofans was reduced to a smoking wreck. The Helicarrier began to tilt dangerously.

'Thor, you're going to kill everyone on the damn ship! Thor, _stop!_'

Iron Man flew in front of the Asgardian to catch his attention, but Thor simply swatted him aside with one fist. Stark hit the Helicarrier and left a sizeable dent. He was winded even inside the suit. Again Thor raised Mjölnir, and again brought it down amid a bolt of lightning. With a metallic groan and crash, a chunk of the Helicarrier split away; wreckage and, horrifyingly, several dead bodies were falling into the ocean below.

'He's tearing it apart! What do we do?' Steve shouted.

'There's nothing we _can_ do, short of shooting Thor out of the sky!'

'I kinda think shooting Thor would be like a mosquito bite to a mother bear right now,' Barton said.

They were forced to watch from a distance. The main body of the Helicarrier hit the sea intact and stable, and remained afloat. Finally it seemed that Thor's wrath abated, or at least he had tired himself out, and he and Iron Man flew towards the Quinjet. A weary Tony Stark landed first and opened his mask.

'Brace yourselves. Pissed-off god incoming.'

The Quinjet shuddered as Thor landed, his boots hitting the floor with a jolt. Thor's eyes immediately sought out the burned form of Loki, and he advanced towards him. Every muscle in his powerful body was tensed, and they half-feared his intentions were violent; but instead, with incredible tenderness, Thor lifted up Loki's charred, bald, unrecognisable head and cradled it with both hands.

'My brother, do you hear me? It's me,' he said softly. As soon as Loki recognised Thor's voice, he began to get agitated, making incoherent noises of desperation. It was awful watching him try and fail to move. Steve looked pained, but Thor was surprisingly calm. Presumably he had spent the worst of his anger. Leaning close to Loki's ear, he whispered soothingly, 'I'm here. I'm here now. I'm here and I'm never leaving you.'

Loki had reached up out of the confines of his blanket, and his burnt fingers were feeling their way along his brother's armour and the familiar fabric of his cape, ascertaining that it was truly him. Finding Thor's shoulder, he clung on and wouldn't let go.

'Thor,' Bruce spoke up awkwardly, 'He's in a lot of pain. You can't touch him yet. Give him a little time, and some space.'

Thor gently stroked Loki's head as if mourning his missing hair, then lowered him. It took him a minute to ease Loki's grip on his shoulder, and then he straightened up to see the others watching him. He showed no acknowledgement of what he'd just done to S.H.I.E.L.D.; there was silence, as if he had nothing to say, or were challenging them to speak first. Steve's heart was still pounding – concern, empathy and anger were warring in his face.

'Hello,' he finally forced himself to say.

'You were rescuing my brother?' said Thor.

'No, just breaking into S.H.I.E.L.D.'s base as per usual,' Stark replied.

'I thank you.'

Stark, with bruises on his face, shrugged faux-modestly.

'Clint did the most of it,' said Romanoff, nodding towards Hawkeye. 'We couldn't have done it without him. So how did you find us? I take it you only just got here...'

'Heimdall...the sentry who keeps watch over the Nine Realms, looked Earthwards. He saw that Loki's life was hanging by a thread.'

'Hang on a second. Is nobody else gonna take him up on this?' said Cap loudly. Nobody replied. 'Thor, what the _hell_ was that?' Steve pointed furiously out of the Quinjet's window at the floating Helicarrier. 'I appreciate you saving our asses, but what you did out there that was unnecessary. You could've killed God knows how many people. That's not what we do, that's not what we stand for, we're _the Avengers_, we – '

'Take a look at my brother,' said Thor frigidly. 'And consider what you would have done if he were _your_ brother. And once you have done considering it, count yourself lucky that I came here alone, and not with the rage of my parents and the full force of Asgard behind me. I showed restraint.'

'_That_ was restraint?'

'Rogers, I count you as among my truest friends, and am grateful to you for your care towards Loki. Do not make me angry with you,' Thor warned.

Before things could get uglier, Natasha interrupted:

'How's Loki doing back there?'

'He's stable,' Bruce replied, raising Loki's eyelids and shining a small light into his eyes. 'But I think he might have sustained a head injury. Maybe when you two fell, he got a concussion. His apertures aren't reacting to the light at all...'

'Oh, yeah,' said Clint heavily, his heart sinking as he remembered. 'His eyes. He couldn't see me.'

'He's blind?' Banner glanced sideways at Thor, worried for his reaction. 'Well, they'll heal just fine, along with the rest of him. The sooner we get back to Stark Tower and put him on some heavy-duty painkillers, the better.'

'I do not intend to intrude long upon Midgard's hospitality,' said Thor. 'My father will bring me and Loki home as soon as possible.'

'When is that exactly?'

'Odin is immensely powerful, but opening a way between Realms using only raw energy, without the aid of an artefact or proper portal, is a difficult and exhausting task. And this time, he will not be transporting one person, but two. It could be many Midgardian weeks before Loki and I see Asgard again.'

'So, a few months? That's a long-ass time.'

'It is not so long,' said the demigod dismissively, 'And it is not the wait itself that concerns me – only my brother's wellbeing.'

'Yeah, about that.' Bruce was now gingerly probing and feeling Loki's arm – the one which Thor had broken. 'The bone healed a long time ago, but it's crooked. It wasn't set properly. Thor, you're going to have to re-break it so it can heal straight.'

It was plain from Thor's face that he did not welcome this idea, but he nodded anyway.

'May I hold him?'

'It'd be better if you didn't. Not yet, anyway. Sorry.'

The Avengers spent the rest of the flight in silence. Though he obeyed Banner, Thor still guarded his brother jealously, and when they landed on Stark Tower's rooftop, Thor had to be persuaded to wait for a stretcher to be brought instead of carrying Loki in his arms to the medical bay. Once he had been laid down on a bed and was being hooked up to several drips, Loki reached out, groping unseeingly for Thor.

'Are you really here?' a rasp escaped his mouth. 'I can't see.'

'I'm here,' Thor confirmed.

'I knew you'd come.'

'I'm sorry I did not come sooner. Forgive me. Forgive me everything, all my failures and stupidity.'

'I...always...' Loki was fading back into unconsciousness, his body relaxing, 'knew...you'd...'

Thor looked up at Bruce with pain in his eyes.

'While I was sitting in Asgard, grieving for him, he was alive and suffering unimaginably. How could I let this happen?'

'How could you have known?' Banner countered.

'He's my brother, I _ought_ to have known.'

'You're beating yourself up for nothing,' said Natasha, 'Look – Bruce and I can take care of Loki, in the meantime you go and get yourself cleaned up. Okay?'

'But Loki – I promised I wouldn't leave him. I won't be any trouble, Banner. I'll let him rest and won't touch him.'

'No, Thor. Please.' Thor realised the bed was surrounded by thick, floor-to-ceiling plastic curtains which Banner was now zipping up. The doctor had a mask on his lower face and gloves on his hands. 'Loki needs a sterile environment or he's going to get an infection. He might already have one. I'm afraid you can't sit with him yet.' Now in the calm mode of a professional, Bruce began unravelling a roll of gauze. 'Tasha, I need antiobiotic creams. A lot of them. And we need to start thinking about a skin graft.'


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: Short chapter here unfortunately. Lots of thank-yous and mince-pies to EvilConcubine, jaquelinelittle, The Pearl Maiden, I'mAGeekNotANerd, Me, Constance Bonacieux, mistyfoxmaid, Ynath Esrith, angrbodagiantess, ratchetsfangirl, AvengersJunkie (**_**Loki's hair will grow back, never fear :oP**_**), Autumn (**_**I did! :oD**_**), THORKISUPPORT, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, Aquarinus, Haruko-Mizumi, Potkanka, TheRedDragonEnforcer4, TwilightsDew, Fan and but-the-clouds for your reviews and comments! Also to my Fav'ers, Followers and bestie Bomber.**

**My Christmas was good. Lots of food and we saw **_**The Hobbit**_**! Though, nobody wanted to watch the DVDs I bought so I watched them alone.**

Upon regaining consciousness, it took Loki a while to realise where he was. He had spent so long in Stark Tower's medibay post-Thanos, but the curtains surrounding his bed altered the familiar smells and acoustics past recognition. Lying on a soft surface, he was practically mummified in bandages, but mercifully the air was cool and gentle to his skin. The last thing he could remember feeling before falling unconscious was Thor's embrace, ushering away all his dread and panic. Now, surrounded by silence and stillness, blind and defenceless, he feared he was alone.

'Thor?' he coughed.

'Yes?' was the instant reply, followed by the feel of the bed shifting as a chair was dragged closer and bumped against it. 'I'm right here, brother. You're safe.'

Loki's relief was too immense to put into words. With all his strength, he reached out a hand for Thor to hold. But Thor didn't take it.

'Banner says I mustn't touch you. Your skin...' Thor's voice was plaintive and pain-filled. Loki let his hand fall back onto the sheets. 'Brother, why are you not healing?'

'I...am. But it's too...' Too much. The wormhole, the battle, Thanos' Chitauri, Barton, Jane Foster, S.H.I.E.L.D., everything.

'Are you in pain? Banner has given you medicine to stop you feeling it. Perhaps he needs to give you more...Do you want him to put you to sleep?'

'No,' said Loki quickly. 'No...I don't want to sleep. I don't want to wake up and find you're gone and I'm back in that cell – '

'Alright, shhh.' The lightest touch ghosted over the top of Loki's short hair, trying to calm him. Thor's hands were gloved for hygiene. 'Thor – the humans – '

'They will no longer torment you. I made it clear whose protection you were under. If they have any wisdom, and any value for their lives, they will stay far away.'

'You...fought them? But...they are of Midgard.'

'I care not what realm they are from.'

Loki tried to wrap his head around the fact that Thor had considered his wellbeing more important than maintaining peace between realms – that his brother's attachment to him had outweighed his devotion to Midgard, a place which had essentially become Thor's second home.

'...Thank you,' was the only thing he could think of to say, but it felt inadequate.

'Don't thank me. I thought you were dead. Everybody thought you had died. I returned to Asgard alone and grieved for you. And in the end, I was not even the one to rescue you. It was the archer who enabled your escape.'

'Why do you...tell me this?'

'Because I cannot bear your gratitude. You should not be thanking me when I was not the one who saved you.'

'You would've been, if you'd...got there first,' Loki pointed out. Thor could not contest that. 'You've been home?'

'Yes.'

'Mother and Odin...do they...' The pause dragged out as he searched for words '...hate me?'

'No!' Thor's chair creaked as he leaned forward earnestly, and Loki could clearly picture the expression in his blue eyes. 'Mother hid her heartbreak for my sake, but I know she was distraught. Father too.'

'And do they...want me home?'

'Of course. They've never wanted anything else.' Thor thought for a moment. 'Loki, you cannot possibly believe they bear you any ill will for your past, after everything you've suffered and been through?'

'I think there are many...who wouldn't consider this punishment...adequate.'

'Punishment? This was no punishment. You've done nothing to deserve any of this. You've broken the laws of both our realms – ' Thor Odinson, honest as always ' – but no crime would warrant such pain.'

Loki kept silent in unspoken agreement. He could still hear Thor's slow but dependable brain working.

'Loki. When the time comes to go home, do you wish to come with me? I will not force you back to Asgard without your consent.'

'You would leave me here...if I asked you to?'

'No. Well, if you asked me to, I would. But otherwise, I would stay with you.'

'You would...quit Asgard? For my sake?' Loki was not expecting that. 'But you belong there.'

'Asgard is as bright and beautiful as ever it was. But without you at my side, it holds nothing for me. You are dearer to me than my dearest friends. I love nobody as much as I love you. And nobody's pain grieves me as much as yours.'

'You cannot mean that.'

'What do you mean?' Thor exclaimed.

'I'm a liar, a traitor and a criminal. The only reason you persist in loving me is because you're a...a misguided fool who doesn't know what's best for yourself or the people around you. Your heart is far too...sentimental...for your own good.'

'I may often be a fool, and not as clever as you, but I'm not misguided. I love you because I've seen the _true_ you. Despite everything, despite mutual mistreatment, despite your mischief, you have a good and faithful and courageous heart.'

'And Jane?'

There was a few seconds' hesitation – the longest few seconds of Loki's life.

'I don't hold it against you.'

'But you still – '

'Yes, I do still grieve. But grief is...grief is for when you have no-one else to care for. And I must care for you now.'

Loki's head ached horribly. He realised he was trying to cry through his burned tearducts, but didn't have enough water in his system. He was still being rehydrated. Stifling himself, he let the silence settle. It was broken by the rustling of pages.

'Romanoff lent me a book. Would you like me to read it to you?'

'You...read?' Loki's burnt lips pulled back as he smiled painfully. 'Yes, please.' Thor read hesitantly and woodenly, but Loki had never enjoyed a written work more. After maybe half an hour, Thor's mouth had dried so he stopped reading; by then, Loki was dozing off peacefully. Half-asleep, Loki formed a small smile and muttered: 'I almost felt we were children again...and you were – '

'Fumbling my way through one of our tutor's books, while you were penning treatises,' Thor finished for him. 'You always wrote with such an elegant hand, but my handwriting looked like I'd spilled an inkwell.'

'Or did I do that? I think I...got frustrated and...knocked it over...to ruin your...' Loki trailed off. Thor's touch returned to his hair, reassuring him.

'It was probably an improvement.'

Struggling to stay awake, Loki forced his eyelids to stay open. His vision was a blurry patchwork of dark and light, half-received signals dancing around the fringes of blindness. Loki's face hurt as he smiled again, before slipping into sleep. Thor sat back in his chair, quite content to spend the next few days sitting here.

'**Mister Odinson**,' J.A.R.V.I.S. spoke at a low volume; presumably he had been ordered to keep the atmosphere in the medical bay quiet. '**Mister Stark invites you for a quote-on-quote "stiff drink"**.'

'Thank him. Another time, maybe.'

'**He also asks me to remind you that he generally finds it easier to break bad news over a glass of whisky**.'

Thor went still.

'What's happened?'

'**I don't know, sir**,' said the A.I. as calmly as ever, '**though judging by the CNN news feed being viewed by Mister Stark, I imagine it might have something to do with S.H.I.E.L.D.'s endeavour to take legal action against the Avengers team**.'


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: Happy New Year's Eve! A Loki-lite chapter unfortunately. Thank you to reviewers Aquarinus, THORKISUPPORT, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, AvengersJunkie, Guest, EvilConcubine (**_**a bit of telepathy there? xD**_**), MilkyWayGalaxy, Potkanka, Haruko-Mizumi, Autumn (**_**I loved The Hobbit. It took me a while to get into it because its tone is so different to LOTR, but then it was completely awesome. I can't believe we have to wait so long for Part 2…just like waiting for Thor 2…**_**), jaquelinelittle, The Pearl Maiden, Ynath Esrith, angrbodagiantess, Quantumphysica (**_**eight reviews in a row!**_**) and Constance Bonacieux, as well as my Fav'ers and Followers :o)**

**I do kinda regret ruining Loki's hair…**

'Jarvis, please watch Loki and inform me immediately if he wakes or if his condition changes,' Thor ordered as he left the medibay. 'If he asks for me, tell him I am coming, and if he shows fear, do everything possible to reassure him.'

'**Understood, sir**.'

When Thor reached Stark's whiskey bar, he found the others already there. Banner was standing in a corner with his arms folded, while Rogers and Barton sat on one of the couches. Romanoff and Stark were standing directly in front of the television, intent upon the moving images and the voice being omitted.

'_Shocking evidence has emerged that the self-styled Avengers may be covertly harbouring the infamous war criminal known only as Loki. Confirmed to be a highly deadly extraterrestrial being, Loki was responsible for last year's devastating attack on Manhattan in which hundreds of civilian lives were lost. Despite the Avengers' very public opposition to Loki, followed by his extradition to his native planet of "Asgard", it appears that Loki is currently hiding on Earth. It is unknown where or why Loki is being sheltered, but disturbing clues suggest that he may be on U.S. soil_.'

'This is awkward,' said Bruce.

'Can't we just say there was a delay with getting Loki home, but we didn't wanna alarm anybody?' said Steve.

'I don't know if admitting we hushed things up would endear us to the authorities.'

'It was S.H.I.E.L.D. who did the hushing up, not us – '

'Wait, there's more,' Barton interrupted.

'..._revealed that Natalia Alianova Romanova, also known as Natasha Romanoff, has previously worked as mercenary. The Avenger, born in 1984 in Volgograd, Russia, has been implicated in a 2007 shootout in São Paulo, Brazil, which claimed the lives of multiple bystanders. Sources suggest she may also be responsible for the brutal assassination of former Soviet politician Ivan Drakov, in which fatalities included Drakov's young daughter._ _Investigations are underway_ – '

'I'll turn this off, shall I?' Tony offered, muting the volume with the press of a button. Natasha remained staring at the silent screen, reading the newsreader's lips. He wouldn't go so far as to say she looked pale, but she certainly didn't look her usual rock-steady self.

'I guess Loki was right,' she said, 'You really can't wipe that much red from your ledger, no matter how hard you try.'

'Okay, roll-call, who has a dark past and/or criminal record?'

'Me,' said Clint, 'S.H.I.E.L.D. can easily dig up shit about me and feed it to the press...and there's _a lot_ of shit, trust me. _This_ is just the start.'

'Well,' Tony said, 'They might have some ammunition against you and Nat, I concede that. Maybe me. Maybe even The Other Guy. But what exactly have they got against Cap? Or Thor?'

'I've broken no laws either of your world or of Asgard,' said Thor.

'I don't doubt it, buddy. Loki on the other hand – '

'They would not _dare_ go near my brother,' Thor growled, the air in the room suddenly turning oppressive. Just then, J.A.R.V.I.S. spoke:

'**Mister Odinson, our patient has woken up. He is demonstrating signs of anxiety, but I have informed him he is in a secure environment and that you are close by**.' Instantly Thor exited. His abrupt departure left the other five wandering what to do. Tony was soon spared the indecision by the A.I. '**Sir, I'm afraid you have been invited to a board meeting at four o'clock to discuss this controversy's potential impact on Stark Industries. Miss Potts has arrived to pick you up**.'

'Great.' Tony sighed. 'I won't be long, guys. I've had worse controversies than this.' He put on his darkest sunglasses before going out, and was immediately met by a flurry of microphones and flashing cameras being shoved in his face. Questions were hurled at him in raised voices, along with the less subtle cries of "Where is Loki?".

'Mister Stark, it's been suggested that the Avengers may not have been entirely honest with the government and the public at large about their methods and motives.'

'Acknowledged,' was all Tony said.

'Mister Stark, were you aware of Miss Romanoff's past?'

'Mister Stark!' A journalist pushed in front of him, blocking his way. 'Don't you feel that Loki's continued presence here poses a very dangerous threat to global security?'

'Not really, no.'

'Why is that?' But Tony shouldered past him. He could see Pepper's car waiting in the road, an island in a sea of commotion, and made straight for it, determined to ignore the hubbub. 'Are you refusing to answer?' was shouted after him.

'Mister Stark, just one question. It's historically well-documented that Loki and Thor are brothers. Do you feel that Thor may be biased in Loki's favour, and that this contributed to the decision to shelter Loki? Do you _trust_ Thor?'

'With my life.'

'What about with _our_ lives?'

'You mean the lives you owe us?' Tony muttered. His voice, amplified by the microphones, carried clearly. Tony finally made it the fifteen feet to his car. He stumbled on the curb and bitterly predicted tomorrow morning's headlines: **Drunk Tony Stark defends alien war criminal**. More photos were snapped as he climbed into the car and slammed the door shut, glad the windows were tinted. He found himself sitting beside Pepper.

'Were you planning on telling me about this?' she asked as she signalled the chauffeur to drive on.

'No.'

'Why not?'

'I didn't want you involved.'

'_Why not?_'

'Because bad stuff happens to you when you get involved in...bad stuff. And I don't want that to happen to you.' It wasn't his most eloquent explanation. 'It's not that I don't trust you, if that's what you're thinking.'

'Well, you don't trust me to handle myself. Where _is_ Loki, anyway?'

'Um. Here. Not specifically here, but in the Tower. It seemed the best place...all my stuff's here...' When she looked at him without speaking, he protested, 'I did _try_ to relocate him to somewhere that wasn't a densely populated civilian area, but unfortunately Thor tore the shit out of my house.'

'I noticed when I popped by,' said Pepper, 'Oh, and that's another thing. Via anonymous sources, the media got wind of you having a fight with Thor. They take that as a sign of poor inter-team relations.'

'Anonymous my ass,' Tony muttered. 'Yeah, we fought, but what's that got to do with anybody? It's none of their business. Families argue all the time...'

'Superheroes fighting off an alien invasion is one thing, but superheroes fighting _each other_ is another. That screams "uncontrollable", and people like to think they have control even when they don't.'

'That's too bad.'

Pepper paused.

'You know they're building a memorial downtown? And there's still a brick wall plastered with photos of the dead. The core problem here is the fact that it's _Loki_ we're talking about. If it weren't for him, nobody would care about your...personal lives.'

'Loki was tortured by the aliens. In fact, I'd say the last few months have been torture as well,' Tony said shortly. 'And there's no way I'm going in front of a roomful of reporters and telling them how Loki had to drink acid or how he got the absolute crap beaten out of him or how he woke up screaming from a nightmare. I _can_ do that, you know – I've still got the photographs and the X-ray scans stored away.'

Pepper was silent for a while.

'Tony. You know it would save you, the Avengers, Loki and everyone a lot of trouble if you made that public. If you proved Loki is...well, not a _friend_ exactly, but at least not an enemy.'

'I know it would. But I can't. Or rather, I _won't_. Because I sure as hell wouldn't want anybody knowing what happened to _me_.'

The silence resumed.

'Can't Thor take him home?'

'Not for another few weeks. Magic, y'know.'

'Well, all you've gotta do is hold out another month, then Loki will be out of your hair.'

'You think I can stave them off that long? Loki's already had a couple of kidnap attempts, one of them successful. And people tried to confiscate my suit in the past, what's to say they won't try it again?'

'Because in the past you were just a controversial multi-billionaire with a dangerous hobby, but now you're a world-saving superhero too. And besides, I'd like to see them try to confiscate Doctor Banner's alter-ego or Thor's immortality.'

'Or his hammer.' A thought occurred to Tony. 'Do you think they'll take the Norse god to court? That'd be something to see.'

'Tony, have you been drinking?'

'Yes, quite frankly,' he said. Pepper averted her face under the pretence of checking her handbag, presumably to hide her vexation. 'If S.H.I.E.L.D. wanna screw with us, they can do it to our face.'

'S.H.I.E.L.D.? Are they involved in this?'

'Kinda. We fell out bigtime and now they're getting their own back.'

'What for?'

'Thor killed a whole bunch of them,' said Tony bluntly. 'Admittedly he did it to protect Loki, but I'd say about ninety per-cent of S.H.I.E.L.D. were just doing their jobs. Plus Loki killed an innocent woman, even though it was by accident, and the accident was kinda triggered by S.H.I.E.L.D. in the first place. But it wouldn't have happened if we'd negotiated with them properly for official custody of Loki, so damned if I know who's to blame here.'

'Well, it wasn't your fault, I know that much.'

'How?' Tony snorted, and only realised how unappreciative that sounded when he saw her expression. 'I'm sorry. I'll pick you up a Starbucks on the way back from this stupid meeting.'

'I already had three coffees.'

'Shawarma, then.'

'I don't want shawarma, I want you to stop getting yourself into trouble.'


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: 2013! Thank you to reviewers EvilConcubine, Guest, Me, Potkanka, jaquelinelittle, Aquarinus, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, THORKISUPPORT, I'mAGeekNotANerd, The Pearl Maiden, ratchetsfangirl, Guest, TheCresantMoonWolf, Jester's Pet Oriole, Blood Never Lies (**_**thank you again**_**), Autumn, AvengersJunkie (**_**Well, I didn't like long hair on guys until I saw Loki and Thor...**_**), Ynath Esrith, Insane Elvish Vampire Pirate And The Demented Hobbit Ninja (!) and angrbodagiantess.**

'You're thinking about something,' Loki muttered through the gauze.

'What makes you say that?'

'It's no great feat of divination...You've not spoken for ten minutes.'

'You're right. I am troubled.'

'Tell me what's wrong?' Loki offered simply.

'I have news which would most likely be considered _bad_,' Thor sighed. Pausing, he looked down at Loki's bandaged hand, which was being cradled very carefully between his own. 'The people of Midgard have discovered that you are still in their realm. They know nothing else, only that you are being deliberately kept secret from them. They think that we did not do a good job of...handling you.'

'Because I'm...so very dangerous?'

'Yes.'

Loki fell silent, but then recovered his spirits.

'That shouldn't trouble you. Since when have you feared humans, let alone their opinions?'

'It is not worry that I feel. Only...' Thor was unable to keep the righteous anger out of his voice, 'They slander my friends. They try to ruin our reputations so that we will no longer be trusted with the protection of this planet – or the guardianship of you.'

'And what is their success?'

'I do not yet know. But once a secret has been uncovered, it cannot be hidden away again. I love these mortals like my own people, and I know I cannot expect them to know you as well as I do, but sometimes I feel they are _ignorant_.'

'That is not very kingly of you.'

'Then maybe I will give up kingship.'

'You would rather be my nursemaid than be king?'

'You will not always be in this bed,' Thor rebuked him, 'Your strength will return, and your health along with it...You will see again, and walk again – '

'And fight again?' Loki interjected. 'That's what they all fear, isn't it? That I will resume my old war-path.'

'Yes,' Thor admitted. This time Loki did not speak. 'Have I worried you? I'm sorry. I should not have told you such news. It is selfish of me to unload my woes on you when you're already – '

'It's alright.' Loki's fingers stirred, seeking his. 'I know you wouldn't let them near me...even if they came beating on the door right now.'

Thor managed to put a smile in his voice for his brother's sake. He couldn't tell if Loki's trust was genuine or if he was just trying to hide his fear.

'You have more confidence in me than I do in myself.'

'Now you know how I feel.' Loki started coughing. Within seconds he felt a plastic straw poke his mouth. He sipped, moistening his throat.

On the other side of the medibay's observation window, Natasha Romanoff stood with her arms crossed.

'You better not be thinking about handing him over,' Clint spoke as he appeared behind her. 'After all that hassle I went through busting him out.'

'Of course I'm not,' she said without taking her eyes off Loki's curtained-off bed, 'I'm just...thinking.'

'Nat, honestly, what's the worst S.H.I.E.L.D. can do to us? We beat back an alien invasion, the world's not gonna forget that in a hurry. This shitstorm will die down before you know it.'

'They're showing photographs of that girl all over the papers, now. The Drakova girl. I still see her, you know.' Natasha swallowed back a sudden lump in her throat, trying to maintain control over her facial muscles. 'I wish I could say she never saw what hit her, but she did. She bled out while I shot her father dead beside her.' Frowning, and squaring her shoulders, she concluded, 'That was the last time my sniper round _ever_ missed its mark. Every hit since then has been a clean kill.'

'You've made up for it. You're fighting on the good side now.'

'I thought I left all that behind me.'

Barton promptly closed the shutters over the window and positioned himself in front of her, so she could no longer avoid eye-contact.

'Come on. Look at Loki. If he's proved anything, it's that the past means nothing. Who you used to be might matter to other people, but that doesn't mean _you_ have to beat yourself up. Besides, who'd have the balls to try to take you down?' Clint scoffed.

'You saying Loki's a really nice guy?'

'No, I'm saying he made the mistake of giving up on himself. Of embracing that whole God of Chaos, Liesmith bullshit instead of just leaving it behind.'

'He might not have had a choice. Sometimes you need an opportunity to change yourself but the opportunity never comes.'

At that moment, Thor exited the medibay and was startled to come face to face with them.

'My friends, I did not expect to see you here. I'm just going in search of Banner; my brother is complaining of discomfort. I think he is making progress, but then, I can't tell if I'm just convincing myself...'

'I'll get Bruce,' Barton said immediately, and walked away; presumably he still felt some residual awkwardness, and was as keen to keep his distance as he was to make amends for it.

Natasha and Thor were left alone together. He smiled at her.

'I did not expect to see you and Barton here. Did you want something? Did you come to visit Loki? You can come in and speak to him if you wish; he is awake, and well enough to speak.'

Natasha had no desire to interact with Loki, but the look on Thor's face made it difficult to say so; the concept of her _liking_ Loki was obviously very reasonable to him.

'I think he would prefer Tony or Steve,' she excused herself tactfully.

'Not at all! I am sure he would appreciate having someone else to speak to. It must be boring for him with only me for company,' Thor assured her. Unable to think of a polite excuse not to, Natasha entered. The curtains had to be unzipped before they could be opened, and she found herself staring down at a pitiful form covered in IV drips. 'Loki. Romanoff has dropped by. You like clever people, don't you, brother? Well, Romanoff is one of our cleverest. I'm sure you two will find much to speak of.'

Cheerful in the knowledge that he was not alone in his care for Loki, Thor moved about the medical bay, refilling a jug of water and searching for a new pillow for his brother's head. For the few moments that Thor was gone, Natasha endeavoured to fill the silence.

'You're looking better already.'

'So Thor keeps saying.' Loki's sightless eyes remained closed.

'You guys straightened everything out?'

'Yes.'

'That's good.'

'My brother is very kind to me.' She thought that was the limit of his expression of gratitude, until he added, 'Sometimes I think my brother is...completely alone in the way his mind works. Nobody else could be so...stubbornly forgiving as he. I used to call it sentiment – weakness – stupidity – but it's the only thing I can always count on.'

'Thor's a good guy.'

'I know.'

'How do you do it?' Black Widow asked after a pause, 'Move on? Become somebody new? I thought I'd managed it a long time ago, but...' she petered out.

'You can't,' he replied eventually, 'Because the past..._always_ catches up, no matter how far or how long you run. You just hope you get to live a little longer before they come for you.'


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: Thank you to intern3t, THORKISUPPORT, EvilConcubine, Aquarinus, Guest, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, The Pearl Maiden (**_**600th!**_**), Insane Elvish Vampire Pirated And The Demented Hobbit Ninja, ratchetsfangirl, Quantumphysica, Blood Never Lies, Haruko-Mizumi, angrbodagiantess, Potkanka, but-the-clouds and Guest for reviewing.**

In due time, Barton returned, bringing Banner, who examined Loki and determined his bandages needed changing. It was a grim process for all involved, and turned out to require a triple dose of both sedatives and painkillers. Natasha, whose hands were gentler than Thor's, was enlisted to help Banner; and together they replaced the stained gauze with fresh fabric. While Loki was unconscious, Clint felt at liberty to approach the bed.

'There's no way he's making a full recovery before he goes home,' he commented, 'Your Asgardian healers better be pretty brilliant, Thor.'

'There is much that magic can do which medicine cannot; at least not human medicine.' Thor hesitated, wondering if he might be betraying Loki's trust, before continuing, 'Although...I am not certain Loki intends to accompany me back to Asgard.'

'Why's that?' said Natasha.

'His hesitancy was very clear. Even though I have assured him repeatedly that he has nothing to fear from our parents or the rest of Asgard, the idea of facing them must be intimidating for him.'

'He doesn't have much of a choice,' said Bruce without looking up, 'To be honest, you could probably just carry him home and there'd be absolutely nothing he could do about it. Not that I'd recommend you do that...'

'Bruce is right,' said Natasha, 'Whatever our feelings are, Loki's technically still a prisoner. If you're taking him to Asgard, then that's where he's going.'

'I understand. I just want you to be aware of the possibility that Loki may be staying permanently in Midgard. I don't expect you to be warm to the idea, but I know you will not refuse him shelter.'

'Surely there are other planets he can go?' said Clint. 'It's a big universe out there.'

'Yes, but Midgard is where we are, and I cannot look after him if we are separated. I can divide my time between two realms, but not three.'

They finished their task in silence except for Bruce's instructions, and Loki regained consciousness. Clint and Natasha withdrew to a distance, and at some point Steve Rogers wandered in, searching for them. Loki – long ago resigned to indignity – lay still and let the doctor do his business. He knew Thor was close by, and that was all the reassurance he needed that he was in good hands.

'Open your eye, please,' Banner's voice said. Loki complied, but he couldn't keep it open for long before his eyelid fluttered shut. 'Now your other one.' Loki obeyed wearily, and was met by the now-familiar dark canvas. 'Can you tell me what you can see?'

'...Nothing...'

'Blackness?'

'Yes.' The darkness fluttered; he felt a soft whoosh of air on his skin and knew the doctor was waving his hand in front of his face.

'Can you see movement?'

'A little. And a light, but it's dim.'

'Is the light still there?'

'No...It's gone.'

'Well, that's my torch you're seeing.' Withdrawing, Bruce looked up at Thor, who was watching incredulously, visibly trying not to get his hopes up. In the background, Clint – of his own accord – moved to the window and opened the curtains to let some extra light in.

'He's definitely improved,' Bruce said, 'But I don't know how long it'll take for him to be able to see 20/20 again.'

Thor, unable to keep his distance any longer, moved towards Loki and leaned close.

'Did you hear that, Loki?' he said gladly, somehow proud of his brother, 'You're getting better.'

'Uh, guys,' said Clint Barton, his hand still on the curtain and his far-sighted eyes staring out of the window. 'There's a building on fire.'

'What?' Cap exclaimed. He joined Clint at the window, but could see little but a trail of smoke. 'Great. Where the hell is Stark when you need him? Nat, Clint, Bruce, come with me to the Quinjet. Thor, you can fly faster than us, you'll get there first – Thor?'

Thor hadn't moved – in fact, hadn't even reacted.

'My skills lie in battle,' he said, 'And this is a rescue. You do not need me for this.'

'_Thor!_'

'I made a promise,' Thor said stubbornly. 'I gave Loki my word that we would not be separated again.'

'It's a civilian residence, we need to help,' Barton protested.

Loki was growing agitated. Taking quick, ragged breaths, he tried to sit up, despite Bruce's attempts to pacify him.

'Hey, woah, woah. Take it easy.'

Thor pushed Banner aside and shushed Loki.

'Brother, be calm. I'm not going anywhere.'

'Uh, yes you are,' said Cap, 'You're the only one who can fly – apart from Stark, who isn't here – and that fire's high up.'

'What if it's a trick? What if S.H.I.E.L.D. comes for Loki when there is nobody here to protect him?'

'You think S.H.I.E.L.D. would set a building on fire just to cause a diversion?'

'Alright, then – what if S.H.I.E.L.D. takes advantage?'

'Come on, nobody's gonna come busting into the home of six of the world's most dangerous people. Hell, _seven_ if you believe their garbage.'

'I will not risk it,' Thor insisted, 'At least _one_ of us is staying. Banner?'

'I dunno. I'm pretty fire-resistant.'

'Romanoff, then.'

Black Widow and Hawkeye made eye-contact.

'I'm better at piloting the Quinjet than you are,' said Natasha, 'Clint, you have to stay.'

'I can't just sit back and watch,' Clint snapped. 'I want to help.'

'Then help by making sure Loki doesn't get kidnapped.'

For a moment it looked like Barton was ready to hate Loki all over again, but then he set his jaw firmly and nodded.

'Fine, but I'm staying in touch. Keep me on the comms and don't take me off.'

'Thor, don't leave me,' Loki was saying, 'Stay with me. Don't leave me.'

Thor gently placed his hands on either side of Loki's face, cupping his bandaged head.

'Loki, listen carefully. There is something I must do that means I must leave you for a little while. The archer will look after you – I know you do not like him, but he risked his life to rescue you, and has proven himself trustworthy. He will not harm you, nor allow any harm to befall you. I will not take long, and I give you my word everything will be alright. But you _must_ be calm, understand? Forgive me.'

He couldn't tell if Loki was regaining his composure or just weakening.

'Thor, we don't have _time_ for this – !' Steve began.

Straightening up, Thor shot them all a murderous look; an unfamiliar expression on his normally good-natured face.

'I made a vow to my brother that I would not leave him. Now you force me to break that vow out of shame at not helping my friends.' His voice simmered with resentment. 'You are in my debt. And if _anything_ happens to him in my absence, I will hold you _all_ accountable as much as the perpetrator.'

'Feel free to read us the riot act on the way back, we're kinda on a tight schedule,' Cap was already leading the way out of the room. Hardening his heart – even though it was about to shatter – Thor followed, leaving his brother behind. Clint turned his earpiece on and sat down to wait, trying not to hear Loki's painful crying. Eventually Loki lay subdued and silent on the bed. Clint wasn't sure whether to speak or not; he knew he should be trying to reassure Loki, but at the same time he didn't want to risk aggravating him.

'How does it look?' Clint asked in a quiet aside.

'Not good,' Natasha's reply broke through the static, 'How's Loki doing?'

'As well as you can expect: not good at all.'

'Keep me posted.'

'Will do.'

'**I feel I ought to notify you that Mister Stark and Miss Potts have arrived and are in need of your assistance, Mister Barton**,' J.A.R.V.I.S. interrupted.

'Potts?' Clint echoed.

'**Mister Stark's secretary**.'

'Ah. What exactly do they need me for?'

'**Mister Stark has been drinking. I feel he will need help getting to his suite without damaging his property**.'

'Right. I'll go down and meet them.' Barton glanced at Loki. 'Hey, you'll be okay, won't you? I know Thor's jumping at shadows, but honestly – '

'Yes. Go.' Right then, still upset at being abandoned, all Loki wanted was as much distance as possible between himself and anyone who wasn't Thor.

When Pepper dropped Tony off at the Tower, they were in a full-fledged argument and it was plain that Tony was drunk. His eyes were shiny and unfocused, and he caught his feet on the threshold as Pepper led him inside. He automatically gravitated towards the nearest whiskey bar.

'You're meant to be a _hero_,' Pepper was saying impatiently, 'You can't be much of a deterrant to all the bad guys out there if _one scandal_ can bring you down.'

'It's not fair, you know,' Tony called over from where he was pouring himself a drink, just about sober enough to hold the bottle steady. 'How they just toss us aside after everything we've done for them. Totally not fair.'

'The people who've "tossed you aside" are a minority, Tony. Pull your shit together, get out there and show the world you're here to stay. Otherwise what's the point of your technology? What's the point of the armour?'

Pepper was already walking away, leaving Tony still mumbling:

'It's not fair...' Stark paused, feeling suddenly queasy, and put out a hand to steady himself; his breathing was shallow and he felt clammy. Quelling his nausea, he straightened back up. 'Where is everybody?' he yelled aloud to the empty rooms. Unwilling to search the entire Tower, he asked aloud, 'Jarvis, where are the others.'

'**I'm afraid you are alone except for Mister Barton and your patient. Everybody else has gone out**.'

With Pepper gone and the Tower half empty, he felt strangely paranoid, and ordered J.A.R.V.I.S. to suit him up. He knew it was stupid, clanging around in his own home, but he felt more secure. Guessing Barton was probably keeping watch over Loki, he went to the medical bay, but unknowingly they bypassed each other by taking different routes. When he arrived, he found only the trickster. Loki jumped at the sound of Tony's clanking footstep, obviously not expecting him to show up in full armour.

'They're all out to get you, you know,' Stark informed him. 'I got chewed out at the board meeting...I told Pepper I was going to get her a shawarma, but I got sidetracked and got beer instead...'

Loki's hands were attempting a defensive posture.

'Public opinion of you is pretty low. But we'll show them, don't you worry.'

He began pulling away sticky IV lines, disconnecting Loki from his supply of painkillers. J.A.R.V.I.S. spoke up.

'**Sir, I advise you not to disrupt Loki's intravenous therapy**.'

The advice was disregarded. Loki protested as he was lifted off the bed. At first he clutched at Iron Man, but when he realised he was being carried out of the medical bay he began to resist.

'Stark – '

'Relax, buddy. We're just going out for some fresh air. It's been a while since you've had that, eh?' He shouldered open the door, trying not to bump Loki against anything, and flew clumsily but determinedly, accelerating in stops and starts. 'We'll show them...'

'**Sir, I suggest you return Loki to his bed**.'

Loki was trying to push Tony away, small slurry noises escaping his throat in place of words. Deaf to Loki's distress, Stark continued dragging him. They emerged onto the reconstructed balcony – the rooftop where they'd confronted each other ago. It was a windy day, and Tony adjusted his firm grip on the Asgardian as Loki huddled against the blustery cold.

'Where...are we...?'

'_Look!_' Tony yelled at the open air, 'See? He's not dangerous! He can't even walk! He can't even _see!_'

New York carried on bustling indifferently.

'Tony, what the hell are you doing?' Barton shouted from behind them.

'Making a statement,' Tony replied.

'Get back inside!' The archer was running towards them; but Thor got there first. The God of Thunder came flying from nowhere, stained with ashes, his red cape singed at the hem.

'You _dare_ – ' Roughly separating Stark from Loki, he held his brother as if the world might snatch him away. 'What do you think you are doing? Loki must not be seen here!'

'Where are the others?' Clint interrupted, trying to distract Thor.

'They are cleaning up. My job was done, so I returned ahead of them...to find _this_...Has he hurt you?' he asked Loki. Loki managed to gather himself and shake his head, though it was a blatant lie. Thor turned an accusing look on Iron Man. 'You brought him out here in the open? What if he was spotted? You think they aren't watching the Tower, you think this would pass unobserved?'

'That was kinda the point – '

Freeing one hand, Thor grabbed Stark, hauled him upright and spat:

'You risk all our safety, you endanger Loki – for _what?_ My brother is in a realm full of people who hate him! And you would reveal his hiding place? You _fool_.' He shoved Iron Man away in disgust, glowering. Without another word, and with nothing on his mind but his brother, he carried Loki back indoors. Seeing the expression on Clint's speechless face, Tony gave a bitter little laugh, then opened his visor just in time to empty his stomach.


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N: Sorry for the slow update. Things caught up with me after the Christmas break.** **Thanks to my Fav'ers, Followers, and reviewers EvilConcubine, Ynath Esrith, jaquelinelittle, Autumn, Me, Insane Elvish Vampire Pirate And The Demented Hobbit Ninja, msgone, AvengersJunkie, ratchetsfangirl, The Pearl Maiden, THORKISUPPORT, Guest, Constance Bonacieux, Haruko-Mizumi, angrboda-giantess, Lynn92, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, Potkanka and Blood Never Lies.**

'You mustn't be angry, brother.' Loki sounded subdued. 'They are still your friends. They didn't mean any harm.'

'You needn't _mean_ harm to _cause_ it.'

'Are they?' Thor had risen from his seat; the curtains didn't allow enough room for him to pace, so he stood there, gesturing. 'Stark caused you pain and endangered you. Worse, he manhandled you when you were too weak to resist. And as for Barton, I expressly told him to watch over you. There is no trust to be placed in anyone but ourselves – '

'Thor,' said Loki quietly from the gurney, 'Please don't be angry. It frightens me when you are angry.'

Thor made no immediate reply; sitting down again, he took Loki's hand.

'I am not angry with _you_. I seek only to protect you. You know that.'

'I know. I know that and I am grateful for it. That's why you mustn't...change. I trust you because you are who you are: hopeful and...naïve. But now my only constant anchor is giving way. You've grown distrustful and bitter like me. I don't want that for you. I don't want you to have to know what it's like being me.'

Thor was troubled into silence. For the past two days, he had refused all but the most essential contact with the other Avengers, tolerating only Banner. Loki couldn't deny that part of him anticipated the doctor's routine visits, and regretted when they were over and he was left alone again with Thor's seething anger. Hoping to take Thor's mind off his sense of betrayal, he changed the subject.

'When did you last sleep?'

Thor tried to remember.

'Not since the night you came to my bed. Just before...what happened with Jane.'

'But that was months ago. Aren't you weary?'

'No, not at all.'

'Liar. I thought you always told the truth.' Loki shifted on the bed. 'Sleep with me again?'

'That bed's not wide enough.'

'On the floor, then.'

'That would be uncomfortable for you.'

'Then make it comfortable.'

'You must be careful of your skin, brother.'

'Just come here.' Weakly, Loki lifted his hands. Confused, Thor leaned down into Loki's fragile embrace, but then pulled back, opening his mouth to warn Loki not to exert himself. 'Please,' Loki struggled to keep his voice steady, 'I just want you close. You're all I have.'

Compliantly, Thor sat on the edge of the gurney and rested his head against Loki's. He had to hold Loki's arms in place to keep them from collapsing. After a few moments, Loki spoke again, much calmer this time.

'Thor, are you wearing your red cloth?'

'Yes. Why?'

'I can see the redness. It's still dim, but it's there.'

'That is good. That is very good.'

'Thor. My face. Can I see?'

'You wish to see yourself?' Thor hesitated, straightening up. Loki's convalescence had picked up the pace as his magic returned, hand-in-hand, but he still had a lot of healing to do. 'Are you sure? Perhaps you should wait until you've healed a little more...'

'Please.'

Thor reluctantly acquiesced. Unable to find a mirror, he picked up a flat steel tray and showed Loki his reflection in its polished surface. As the sight of himself gradually came into focus, Loki was mentally preparing himself for the worst, but he still visibly flinched at what he saw. His burns were closed over now, but where his skin had healed was a raw, shiny pink edged with dry white tissue. It looked like his entire form had been scalded with hot water. Reaching up, he touched the few inches' worth of dark hair he had.

'Maybe you shouldn't have worried about Stark at all,' he said, 'I wouldn't even recognise _myself_.'

'Perhaps not.' Thor lowered the tray. With deep concern and a complete lack of tact, he asked, 'Your appearance does not bother you, does it?'

'It does.'

'I have something to show you that might make you feel better.' Thor disappeared into a side-room. Loki heard a clattering and banging, followed by a long pause as if the God of Thunder were surveying the damage he'd done. Then Thor returned, pushing something ahead of him. Loki reached out to touch it, and found it to be padded metal. 'Banner showed me this a while ago. It's a wheelchair. It's so you can travel about without having to tire yourself by walking. It's a clever invention, is it not? Do you think you are well enough? We must stay inside the tower, but there are many rooms and few limitations.'

'I thought you wanted me as far away from people as possible?'

Thor hesitated.

'I do. And I was going to wait until you were stronger. But a taste of normality cannot be a bad thing, can it? To move about freely again?'

'No, it cannot.'

Over the course of several minutes, Thor helped him to sit up, then manoeuvred him into the wheelchair. He carefully eased a disposable paper hospital gown on over Loki's head, fastening the ties at the back, hiding most of his body.

'Is that comfortable?'

'As comfortable as it'll ever be. Let's go, shall we?' Loki was a little tense in the chair at first, but after a few moments he relaxed.

Upon exiting the medical bay, they surprised Bruce Banner, who was passing by on his way from his laboratory.

'Good to see you two out and about,' the doctor glanced expressionlessly at Thor – a silent, subtle reproach for not consulting him first, and a warning to be careful with Loki's health. 'How are you feeling, Loki?'

'Better.'

'Tell me,' Thor broke in, 'Where are the others?'

'Uh, possibly eating supper, talking to each other or beating up the training room. If you're worried about bumping into Tony, don't be, because he's still getting over the alcohol poisoning. Totally out for the count. He's only moved from his bed to get to the nearest waste-paper basket. I don't think he even remembers what happened – '

'He dragged my wounded brother through these rooms,' said Thor through gritted teeth, his voice deceptively restrained, 'And he does not even _remember?_'

Banner fell silent awkwardly.

'We won't go far,' Loki switched topics. 'Just for a little exercise and a change of scenery.'

'Alright. Make sure you don't tire yourself out, okay?'

'We'll be fine,' Thor assured him before pushing Loki onwards and out of Bruce's earshot, keeping away from the windows just in case. 'Do you wish to avoid them?' His tone darkened when he spoke again. The metal stand with the IV drip on it rolled along beside them.

'No. Well, perhaps a little. For now.'

'You needn't speak to them if you don't want to. I'll do the talking.'

'Now you've become a diplomat?' Loki couldn't help but smile. 'How much longer until Father opens the way?'

'It cannot be long. A matter of days. Perhaps a week.' Thor's tone lifted as he realised how his brother had referred to Odin as "Father". 'Do you intend to go home?'

'I don't know,' Loki was forced to disappoint him, 'I haven't made up my mind yet.'

'That is fair. But you must decide soon. You haven't much time left.'

'Whatever conclusion I ultimately come to, I see little point in denying the All-Father.' Loki winced as Thor accidentally bumped the wheelchair while steering it; Thor, preoccupied, didn't notice. 'If he wants to bring us home, he will, even if he has to come down to Earth himself.'

'Well...' Thor groped for something positive to say. '_That_ cannot be so bad. Perhaps if he makes his power known here, the humans will be dissuaded from campaigning against you. And if he meets our friends, he may ascertain that we will take good care of you – that Midgard is a good home for you.'

'Thor. I may have your support, and I may have a place to stay, and I may even have friends, but I will _never_ have a home.'

'You will not if you do not make one for yourself.'

'Are you rebuking me?'

'Only because you are causing yourself undue distress.'

'That is what I tried to do. But Earth refused to be my kingdom. So, you see, I have no realm to call my own.'

They had arrived at a pleasant spot: an indoor fountain, rivulets flowing down a strange geometric structure. The gentle sound of running water was soothing to Loki's ears.

'Can we stop here?' he asked.

'Of course.' Thor brought the wheelchair to a halt, then sat down on the floor. 'Do you want something to eat? I can ask Jarvis to notify somebody.'

'I think I'll sit here for a while.' Loki closed his tired eyes and let the tranquillity wash over him. He added, 'Thor. My days on Midgard have been marked with fear and pain, but now – sometimes – I think I like it here.'

'Then you will stay,' said Thor heavily.

'Only for as long as I continue to like it. Then, perhaps, I'll come home.'

'So you are prepared to make friends with the humans?'

'I am prepared to be _your_ friend.' Loki discerned Thor glancing at his arm. It was healed now, but Thor's conscience clearly wasn't. Loki pulled his arm away as if to block it from Thor's gaze, reminding him: 'Past wrongs are all forgiven. Remember?'

'Some less than others.'

'There is no such thing as a _degree_ of forgiveness, surely.'

'No, but there are many degrees of stupidity, unworthiness and wrongdoing, all of which I have exhibited.'

'And all of them irrelevant now,' Loki closed the matter, 'Come. You know when one of us reasons with the other, neither listens.'

Footsteps interrupted them, approaching from the nearby corridor. Loki lapsed into silence, lowering his head, while his brother rose to his feet, ready to either greet or rebuff whoever was coming. When he saw who it was, Thor's face could've been carved out of granite. It was Stark.


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N: I've had a moderately awful cough for 2 weeks now...Stupid climate. Anyway, thank you to reviewers Guest, Aquarinus, THORKISUPPORT, EvilConcubine, Tilda (**_**woah. Thank you**_**), ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, jaquelinelittle, kakashidiot (**_**four times xD**_**), Blood Never Lies (**_**I agree**_**), MilkyWayGalaxy, Quantumphysica, Haruko-Mizumi, AvengersJunkie (**_**there are more Junkies? XD**_**), angrbodagiantess, Potkanka and Insane Elvish Vampire Pirate And The Demented Hobbit Ninja, as well as my Fav'ers, Followers, and awesomely squishy beta Bomber.**

_**Rebel Lion & Anti-Loki:**_** You probably won't read this unfortunately, but Clint gets better later on. I'm not quite sure why Jane's death rendered the entire fic suddenly unreadable when she was already absent for the entire thing, bar one chapter. Quite frankly (not to sound irritable or anything like that) your remarks were a tad...meaningless.**

Without a word, Thor began pushing Loki in his wheelchair away.

'Hey, you two.' A smile broke across Stark's face, only to drop as he placed a hand on his stomach. He looked like he had just dragged himself out of bed, and both his cardigan and the T-shirt under it were crumpled and damp with sweat. Steadying himself, he continued, 'I was just on my way up to see you. Hey, wait. I just wanted to say a couple of words. I _will_ follow you up to the medibay, if necessary...'

Turning his head, Loki dared to glance up at his brother's expression. All he could see was a dim profile, but he knew the gathering storm-clouds were on the verge of breaking.

'Go back to bed and sleep away your sickness. You humans haven't the stomach for such immoderate drinking.'

'I would be a bit less sick if the medical bay wasn't off limits,' Stark pointed out.

Interpreting this as an implication that _Loki_ was somehow to blame, Thor halted.

'What did you expect?' he snapped, 'That I would let you within sight of my brother again?'

'Well, no, but after everything we've been through together – '

'Do not try to manipulate me.'

'I'm not. Look, can you at least hear me out?' Tony stumbled over himself, '...Please?'

Thor – with great effort – held his tongue for Loki's sake, instead giving a single nod. Almost any other transgression he would've let go upon receiving an apology, but the injured party here was a much-loved brother, and so he was holding tight to his anger.

'Speak, and be brief.'

Tony started to lean down to Loki's eye-level, then thought better of bending over and stayed upright.

'Look. I was drunk, alright? Drunk and stupid. You know that. You know I would never have done it otherwise. Hurting you was the absolute last thing I intended. I just wanted to say I'm sorry. Real sorry. And I do mean _real_ sorry. I know I caused you pain and compromised your safety. I know there's a bunch of dumbasses outside the Tower waving signs and yelling for your blood – '

Loki's eyes widened, and he felt the wheelchair creak as his brother's fists clenched around its handles.

' – I know and I wanted to apologise for my part in it.'

'Are you finished?' Thor asked curtly.

'Pretty much. Well, no, I was gonna ask if there was anything I could do to make things better.'

'Keeping your distance from us would be a start.'

'Thor, don't.' Loki sounded pained, and Thor fell silent. Stark – nausea now overcoming him – made an inarticulate noise of apology and beat a hasty retreat. 'Brother, how can I be expected to live here if I have no friends?'

'You have me, always,' said Thor in surprise, 'Can that not be enough?'

'Of course. But how can I make peace with these humans as you want me to if you forbid them to even speak to me?' Loki groped for an explanation. 'I don't want to be isolated forever.'

'I will not speak angrily to Stark again. I promise.'

Loki said nothing more on the matter – he found he had no stomach for a prolonged argument, especially not with his brother.

'I'm suddenly tired,' he said, 'Can we go back?'

'Of course.'

Two similarly uncomfortable days later, they were relocated to a two-bed guest suite which had been fully prepared with necessary medical equipment – and also blacked-out windows, in case of any prying eyes outside. It was comfortable and luxuriously furnished. Banner still visited them, and Loki still spent the majority of his time resting, but they were satisfied that it was another step towards recovery. Thor's spirits were lifting once more and he got some of his cheerfulness back, talking or else reading books aloud to keep his brother entertained.

Still Thor did not sleep, instead sitting with Loki during the day and keeping silent watch over him at night.

As their time on Midgard ran out and the day of the portal's opening drew nearer, Loki grew more and more nervous. His frustration with his own weakness, and his restlessness at his confinement, came to the surface. He still avoided giving Thor a straight answer about whether or not he wanted to go home, but it was very plain that he did not want to face Asgard in such frail condition. Letting his guard down with Thor was one thing, but being helpless in front of Odin was another.

'I have a feeling it might be tomorrow,' Thor informed him as he set the table for two. Their lunch had just been delivered up to them (the suite had a kitchen, easy enough to use, but Thor couldn't cook) on trays, along with the usual see-through bags of unappetising liquid for Loki. Loki, wrapped comfortably in a blanket, was sitting in his wheelchair.

'What makes you think so?' he asked.

'Enough time has passed. I am quite sure it must be only hours left until Father opens the way. I don't suppose you've...?'

'No. I haven't decided.'

'Alright.' Thor paused, staring down at the spread of food on the table. There was a spicy stew, and bowls of soft white boiled grains – a far cry from Asgardian fare. 'If you do not return, shall you at least leave a message for Mother? You know you will very likely not see her again for some time.'

Receiving no reply, he turned around and realised Loki had wheeled himself away; he was just in time to see Loki disappear into their shared bedroom, shutting the door behind himself.

'Brother?'

'I'm tired. I'll eat later.'

'Shall I help you into bed?'

'No. I can manage. I might be half-blind but I'm not crippled.'

'Very well.' Swallowing his disappointment, Thor began putting away the tableware. 'If you need anything, I'm right here.' Only a few minutes had gone by when he heard a soft thud from the bedroom. It could've been nothing, but immediately Thor conjectured that Loki had fallen. 'Loki, are you alright?' he called loudly, but as he approached the door, he heard the gentle click of the lock and hesitated.

'Don't come in here,' Loki's muffled voice came through. He sounded shaken, but the fact he was still alive and able to speak was a relief to Thor.

'What's wrong?' Confused, Thor was ready to punch the door out of its frame. 'Are you hurt? Are you ill?'

'No. Don't come in here yet. Please.'

Responding in the negative, Thor broke open the door to find Loki kneeling on the carpet, his head lowered and breath laboured as if he had just run a race. His hospital gown was folded neatly up beside him, and he grabbed it and gathered it about himself to hide self-consciously. Thor immediately knelt beside him, but Loki shied away from his touch.

'Brother, what happened?'

'Nothing.'

But Loki was inexplicably exhausted; reaching up, he smoothed back what little hair he had, brushing the tangled strands away from his forehead. Thor's eyes followed the gesture, and he suddenly realised what Loki had done.

'You tried to do magic, didn't you?'

Loki closed his eyes, as if giving up trying to discern the darkness of his own vision.

'I tried to change clothes,' he said shortly. His tone was surprisingly terse, and Thor realised he was ashamed to have had his magic fail him.

'Brother, you shouldn't have. You're not strong enough – '

'Do you think I don't know that?' Loki sucked in a ragged breath to steady himself. 'I don't want the All-Father to see me like this, wearing clothes borrowed from humans, looking nothing like myself. Nothing like a – ' he groped, unsure of whether to say "prince". He unexpectedly crumbled, dropping his head into his hands. Before Thor could think of anything to say to comfort him, J.A.R.V.I.S. spoke.

'**Sirs, Mister Rogers asks me to notify you that a portal is in the process of opening. It's time for Loki to go home**.'

Upon hearing those words, Loki's face went slack with utter dread.


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N: Thank you to my reviewers EvilConcubine, THORKISUPPORT (**_**neither do I, really...**_**), Guest, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, Aquarinus, Ynath Esrith, jaquelinelittle, MilkyWayGalaxy, Autumn, Quantumphysica, Guest, AvengersJunkie (**_**girl here xD**_**), angrbodagiantess, Potkanka, Insane Elvish Vampire Pirate And The Demented Hobbit Ninja, kakashidiot, Blood Never Lies and Mistyfoxmaid, my Fav'ers, Followers and awesome Bomber.**

The elevator ride to the roof of Stark Tower was racked with tension; Loki trying to suppress his rising fear while Steve Rogers stood to the side, pretending not to hear Thor's hushed reassurances, and the elevator hummed softly around them – a well-lit, friendly-looking cage. A cage for a prisoner. Cap, who was closest to the trickster in height, had loaned him clothes to go outside. They had managed to get the shirt on over his bandaged torso, but Loki's trembling fingers fumbled over the buttons, the little holes evading him. Before he had a chance to panic, Thor bent down and did up his shirt for him.

'No need to be nervous. Understand? I'll be right beside you every step of the way.' Loki managed to nod, swallowing to moisten his dry throat. 'There's nothing to fear.'

'...I know. I know.' Loki repeated it as if trying to convince himself. As the elevator doors opened, he seemed to make up his mind. 'I miss home and I miss Mother.'

'That settles it, then. We're going home.'

Rendezvousing with the Avengers, they emerged on the rooftop a matter of metres away from the swirling portal – an empty gash in the sky, waiting. Waiting. Clint Barton frowned.

'Damn, they didn't waste a second,' he muttered; several hundred metres away, a helicopter was circling. It kept its distance, sometimes pausing to hover, but he knew it was monitoring the portal.

'It's probably a TV crew from some news station – not S.H.I.E.L.D.,' said Bruce. 'Uh, Thor, you sure you want Loki out here?'

'In a few moments, Loki will leave Earth and return to Asgard,' Thor replied, 'Let Earth watch, so they know they've got what they wanted.'

'Now _that's_ S.H.I.E.L.D.,' said Clint, spotting several jets hovering beyond the helicopter.

'I can't do it,' said Loki suddenly. 'I can't face him, I can't go back.'

'Loki...' Thor began.

'I can't do it. Please, don't make me do it. Don't make me go back. Please.'

Thor glanced hopelessly at the others; it was too late to go back indoors. The Avengers and Loki gathered before the portal, unsure of what to expect but ready nonetheless. Loki sat with his hands clasped in his lap like a well-behaved child, trying to suppress his tremors.

'Father! Heimdall!' Thor yelled, 'Loki means to stay! As do I. Father, can you hear me?'

There was no response, and the Avengers stood silent; not even Tony had the heart to try to lift the mood. Several minutes went by, and Loki shivered uncontrollably. Unsure if it was from exposure or fear, Romanoff quickly took off her jacket and draped it over him before the others could see. He didn't thank her or even look at her, but numbly clutched the leather to himself, his eyes glassy and staring.

'Father!' Thor repeated.

Suddenly the portal flared in preparation for something passing through; soon the outlandish silhouette of Sleipnir became visible, with a rider astride its back. Odin Borson had come to Earth. Four pairs of hooves clattered on Stark Tower's roof, and Odin himself came into plain view; golden armour and a rust-red cape, a white-bearded face with a single eye. The hand which held the reins was old yet steady. The portal closed itself behind him, the fabric of both dimensions knitting together. The humans took a step or two back to make way for the newcomer; only Thor and Loki remained where they were.

'Shit. That horse has eight legs,' Barton said almost inaudibly.

'My sons.' Dismounting Sleipnir, the All-Father approached them.

Loki's hand sought out Thor's and their fingers twined tightly. He half-expected the All-Father to smite him, but instead Odin reached out and placed a hand on the top of Loki's flinching head as if in blessing. A rush of magic flowed through Loki from head to foot; all of a sudden his skin was no longer burnt, but fresh – dead tissue sloughing off to make way for new. The bone in his arm clicked as it re-aligned itself. It hurt. Loki gasped once or twice, his breath hitching in his throat as his body knitted itself back together. His scalp tickled as accelerated regeneration added a few more inches to his hair; he blinked painfully as his eyes watered and his vision cleared. Finally Odin lowered his hand.

'It has been far too long since the three of us spoke,' said the King quietly.

'Father, I am beyond glad to see you.' Thor's voice was unsteady with barely contained emotion. Loki was doing his best to make eye-contact with Odin, but in the end dropped his gaze. 'These are my friends,' Thor opened his arms to indicate the other Avengers, 'Doctor Banner and Captain Rogers...Natasha Romanoff and Clint Barton...Anthony Stark...' He hesitated a little over the last two names.

The All-Father graced them with a nod each. His one eye roved over the aircraft in the sky and the gawking people in the street below.

'Let Midgard and its myriad leaders and defenders know that Loki is a ward of Odin All-Father, under the protection of Asgard and all its forces. No harm will come to him and no hostility towards him will be tolerated. If necessary I shall go before the people to make a public declaration of these sentiments.'

'How will Asgard fare in your absence?' Thor asked.

'The queen sits on the throne in my stead. I trust in her wisdom. The portal could not be sustained for long, but with enough dark energy I will re-open it from this side; in the meantime, I will stay here and ascertain that Loki knows what is best for himself.' Odin inexplicably led the way into Stark Tower.

'So, uh, make yourself at home.' Tony felt compelled to establish himself as host. 'Do you...fancy an alcoholic beverage?'

'I would be pleased to acquaint myself with you all,' Odin replied, 'But there are things I must do first. Thor, you and I will speak.'

Thor hesitated, looking down at his brother. Loki had remained in his wheelchair, still not ready to walk as he recovered from the aftereffects of his abrupt healing.

'Loki, can you go with the others?' he asked. Loki nodded. 'Banner, would you take Loki?'

'Sure. I'll take him up to the medibay – he can lose the bandages now he doesn't need them anymore.

Bruce wheeled Loki away; Tony Stark and Natasha Romanoff left to carry out the unwelcome task of contacting S.H.I.E.L.D. to relay Odin's message; and Odin took his son aside.

'Have you tried to persuade your brother?'

'Of course. But Asgard has come to signify loneliness and rejection in his mind – and he fears punishment. He will not return there willingly.'

'He cannot stay in this place forever. In the time it will take for me to re-open the portal, you and I must change his mind.' Odin paused. 'You never told me, on Asgard, what exactly Loki went through. Your grief made the details too painful to contemplate. Are you at liberty to tell me now?'

'I...I'm not sure. Loki has not explicitly forbidden me to speak of his torture, but I feel it would be a betrayal of his confidence to tell you. And I highly doubt you will hear the specifics from his own lips.'

'Perhaps it is just as well. Some things are better off unknown. I will go and speak with Loki now.'

'Can you not wait, Father?'

'It is imperative that he and I understand one another. You think you have secured Loki's friendship again, but trust is a fragile thing, especially for an erratic mind such as his.'

'Please. It was all he could do to meet with you today. He needs to take this a step at a time.' A firmness entered Thor's voice. 'You cannot pressure him.'

'Very well. But time is short, and I must tell you plainly that I will do everything within reason to bring _both_ of my sons home.'

True to his word, Odin left Loki alone; he proved absent that evening, choosing solitude over company, and the Avengers and Loki ate an awkward meal together. Nobody was quite sure what their reason for their impromptu commune was – perhaps a celebration of Loki's health or the arrival of a powerful new ally. Loki had no appetite and only picked at his food, pushing grilled fish and new potatoes around on his plate. He said nothing while the others talked; reaching under the dining-table, he tugged surreptitiously at his brother's leg to get his attention.

'Can I leave?'

'But you've barely eaten.'

'I'm not hungry.'

Thor put down his spoon and fork and started to rise, but Banner kindly opted to help Loki back upstairs so that Thor could finish his meal.

'So what do we call Thor Senior?' Stark asked once Loki was out of earshot, 'He must have a bunch of titles, right?'

'A simple "Odin" will suffice,' Thor replied, 'Although he is one of the most powerful beings in the Nine Realms, he is not _your_ king, so you need not refer to him as such.'

'Maybe it's just the eye-patch and the general air of ass-kicking, but he's giving me uncomfortable flashbacks to Nick Fury.'

'Except my father can be trusted with Loki's care,' Thor corrected him. 'Odin would never take Loki's life, no matter his transgressions.'

'What'll happen to Loki back home?' Natasha asked. 'Will he still be a prince?'

'Perhaps not,' Thor admitted, 'But he will still be a citizen of Asgard.'

His slightly defensive tone put an end to the conversation. After dinner, Thor returned to his and his brother's shared suite. Loki had lain down to rest, but the moment Thor entered he rose from the bed and stumbled into his arms – the only security Loki knew. No words were exchanged; Loki clutched at Thor to the point of hurting, but gradually the tension in his body eased. Thor waited until his brother had calmed down, then turned out the lights and came to bed. Lying there, Loki felt somehow surrounded, as if the darkness was closing in on him; but he voiced none of his trepidation.

'Are you afraid?' a tired Thor mumbled into the nape of Loki's neck.

'Of what?'

'Of Father.'

'I don't know.'

'He loves you. Be assured of that.'

For the first time in months, Thor relaxed enough to fall asleep; but as he slumbered peacefully with his arm around his brother, Loki lay awake and deep in thought. After a while, the trickster gently extricated himself from Thor's embrace, and rose silently from the bed.


	38. Chapter 38

**A/N: Lots of thank yous to reviewers Haruko-Mizumi (**_**did you predict correctly?**_**), Ynath Esrith, EvilConcubine, jaquelinelittle (**_**there's an idea xD**_**), kakashidiot (**_**who knows? bwahaha...**_**), THORKISUPPORT, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, Guest, MilkyWayGalaxy, Aquarinus, angrbodagiantess, Kurtgleelove, AvengersJunkie (**_***is flattered***_**), mistyfoxmaid, Insane Elvish Vampire Pirate And The Demented Hobbit Ninja, Potkanka (**_**I actually wrote a bit about Sleipnir but forgot to add it D:**_**) and Guest, my Fav'ers, Followers and Bomber x).**

Stark Tower was sleeping as Loki made his way, soft and quiet as a shadow, through the unlit rooms and corridors. He was still limping, but not so much from pain as from being bed-bound and lethargic for so long; he had grown unused to such freedom of movement. Reaching a staircase, he endeavoured to descend it; but ended up taking the steps one at a time, clinging to the banisters for support. He was pausing to catch his breath, and wondering if he should turn back, when Romanoff spoke.

'Where are you off to?'

He hadn't heard her walking; the floor was carpeted and her feet were not in shoes. A nice relaxing stroll perhaps, or possibly a late-night rendezvous with Hawkeye.

'Anywhere secluded,' said Loki sincerely.

'Family a bit much to handle?' she asked. He didn't answer. Without offering and without invitation, she helped him down the rest of the steps. The human was too small to lean his weight on, but with her arm around his middle he was much steadier. 'Things aren't going to change just because Odin shows up, you know. I mean, out there they might, but in here Thor's still got your back. So, if your dad gives you any grief, just let someone know.'

'That is touching. Naïve, but touching.' Loki stumbled a little, catching his feet in the dark. 'You might know my brother as a deity, but Odin still has authority over him.'

'Thor's no god. And somehow I don't think he gives a damn about "authority" anymore. You guys have come too far for that.' She removed his arm from around her shoulders, and at the bottom of the stairs they parted ways.

'And where are you going, Agent Romanoff?'

'Somewhere secluded,' she tossed over her shoulder, 'Considering you could fit a couple of cruise liners in this place, it's surprisingly hard to get any peace and quiet.'

Alone again, Loki continued unaided. With nowhere to stable Sleipnir, the horse had been allowed to virtually wander the Tower. When Loki found him, he was chewing his way through a large bowl of fruits and vegetables being fed to him by Tony Stark. The inventor's inquisitive mind was clearly fascinated by the anomalous horse. Also on the floor was a tub of water.

'Sorry,' Stark said like a child caught with his hand in a cookie jar. 'I didn't expect to see you here.'

As if remembering his manners, he offered Loki an apple from the bowl. Loki shook his head, so Tony offered him a pear instead. Loki turned away and rested his hands on Sleipnir's back, leaning on the magnificent animal for support. He breathed deep of the horse's wild scent as if he could somehow catch a scent of Asgard – a little bit of home – a fragment of a childhood long since lost.

'Can't sleep?' Stark asked him.

'I've slept enough.' With his fingers, Loki began to untangle the knots in Sleipnir's mane, while the great horse stood patiently. The silence dragged out to an uncomfortable length.

'So...you and Svaðilfari.'

'Pardon?'

'I'm reading a book,' Tony elaborated, 'Norse mythology. I'm about halfway through. I heard you two had a little thing, way back when...When you were horses...'

'I don't know any Svaðilfari. What are you suggesting?'

'So Sleipnir's not your kid?'

'No.' Loki's expression was halfway between revulsion and amusement. 'No, certainly not.'

'And you don't really have a penchant for gender-bending?'

'I have only one form, Stark,' Loki scoffed, but as he said it, a shadow of doubt seemed to cross his face, and his gaze drifted to his own skin. He shook himself and went back to stroking Sleipnir. 'I suspect somebody started rumours about me – possibly a friend of my brother. Besides, I've never been particularly interested in...intimacy.'

'Ah...' Tony patted Sleipnir's flank. 'Sorry, I've gotta ask,' he blurted. 'The whole sewing thing, and the snake, venom, eyes, bowl thing. Did _those_ happen?'

'I'm not sure of what you speak.'

'Thank God.' Tony was now wishing he had never spoken. 'Well, that's one more book I'm adding to the trash-pile...'

'I'm sure that's not necessary. Inaccurate as it is, it must be an interesting read. In fact, I would like to read this book, if you would be willing to let me borrow it.'

'Um, I doubt that's a good idea. In fact, I would go so far as to say, whatever you do, don't read the book. You all die at the end.'

'All?'

Tony was starting to think there was no bottom to the hole he was digging himself into.

'Um...you, your kids and Thor. You die while duking it out at the end of the world. It's kinda depressing.'

'Well, they must be wrong, for I have no children and no intention of having any,' said Loki, but there was a stiffness to his jawline and a tension to his back that betrayed how deep Tony's words had cut.

'You don't kill Thor,' Tony hastened to clarify, 'It wasn't you, it was Jörm – '

'Stark, I came here for peace and quiet,' said Loki quietly, not raising his head from his task. 'If you would be so good as to leave, I would greatly appreciate it.'

Stark walked away quickly, taking his fruitbowl with him and leaving Loki alone in the darkness. Loki fetched a sponge from the kitchen, soaked it in the tub and knelt to wash Sleipnir's hooves; he was determined not to allow himself to wallow in emotion, and besides, if he was going to live here, he had to make himself of use.

'Do the mortals treat you well?'

Odin All-Father had appeared; Loki had been too preoccupied to hear the rustle of his robes. Feeling suddenly vulnerable, Loki remained on his knees as if he were safer there. If he had learned anything in his life, it was that his proper place was beneath others.

'Yes. For the most part,' he answered.

'And is everything resolved between you and Thor?'

'Yes. How is Frigga?' he dared to ask.

'She is sick with worry for both of her sons – though she hides it even from me. Her kind heart will not permit her to let herself be a burden on others.' There was a pause. 'When you fell from the Bifrost, I thought you dead. From the moment the cosmos swallowed you, until the moment you set foot on Midgard with the intention of wreaking havoc upon its people, you were lost to my sight. And when the Tesseract failed to deliver you and Thor safely here, the same happened; it was as if a shroud came over you. If you are willing, I would know what happened to you.'

'Can't you just rip the truth from me? It's well within your power, and your right as my captor.'

'I would greatly prefer your consent.'

'_Thanos_ happened, if you must know. You know the Mad Titan's name well, I expect. First the Chitauri found me, then they tortured me.' Loki fumbled, nearly dropping the sponge. '_Constant_ pain. Do you understand? No matter if I lost consciousness, no matter what pleas and promises I made, the torment would not cease. It didn't end until they tossed me back to Earth at Thor's feet, intending to cement my humiliation by having me beg his forgiveness. And then after the Chitauri, I was tortured again – this time by the humans. There, are you satisfied?'

'You know perfectly well that I could never derive satisfaction from your suffering.'

'Is that so?'

'I don't expect you to let go of your bitterness towards me. I know you are very angry with me, and I know your anger hurts you deeply.'

'You know nothing. When have _you_ ever been lied to? When have you ever...' Loki trailed off.

'Please, speak your mind. Some things should not be withheld.'

'Why should I? I owe you nothing.' Loki's hands shook as he bathed Sleipnir's hooves. 'I am disarmed. If I don't have my lies and my secrets, then what other defences am I left with? I have no weapon, no tricks, no magic, no power left to protect myself with. You would have me bare myself to you like an open wound, until the last of my dignity is gone?'

'You need not hide your pain from me – I would never use it against you.'

'You lied to me.' Finally Loki spoke freely, pent-up words so long suppressed. 'Because of your own weakness or lack of foresight – I do not know which – you favoured Thor over me even at the height of his stupidity and arrogance, regardless of how inadequate it made me feel. You allowed him to be a disgrace, and allowed _me_ to grow up resentful and jealous. You dangled the hope of kingship in front of me like a bone in front of a hungry dog, even though you knew there was no chance that I would never sit on a throne – _any_ throne. Because I was never important was I? I was _among_ royalty, yet I was never truly a prince.'

Odin didn't interrupt him, waiting until he was finished.

'You were never anything but my son.'

'And that would have been enough for me, if only you had not pitted me against Thor.'

'I never did.'

'Well, that was how it seemed to me.'

'How would you have preferred I raised you?' Odin asked calmly, 'Would your sense of worth have fared better if you had known that I had stolen you from a realm which had cast you out to die – a helpless and innocent child – simply because you were undersized?'

'I would have borne it better if you had supported me. But it's pointless talking about it. You made me the way I am and that cannot be changed.'

'Is this your final word?'

'Yes.'

'I see.' After a long silence in which Odin continued to stand there and Loki continued his task, Odin spoke again, 'You were never inadequate. You were a good, considerate, dutiful and sensible boy. For the majority of your life, you were a better son to me than Thor was. But the fact remains that your ascension to the throne was _an impossibility_. Thor, and Thor only, was meant to be my successor. He was raised to be king, and you were not.'

'Then what's the point of _me_?' Loki couldn't help but laugh, a shocked, hollow and utterly humourless little sound. 'Did you let me live only to provide Frigga with another child to coo over? Or to make yourself look charitable and merciful? _What's the point of me?_'

'Who else could have taken you in? Laufey had disowned you. We had just a won a hard-fought war against Jötunheim, and no Asgardian citizen would've been willing to adopt a child of the enemy.'

'You still could've given me to someone else. You could've _ordered them_ to adopt me.'

'That is true. But it was not what I desired. When I first picked you up from the snow and held you, you were so cold and hungry. From that moment, I wanted to ensure you had every possible comfort from a warm cot to a bright future; and the brightest future Asgard could offer you was as its co-regent.'

Loki was silent; straightening up, he let the bucket hit the floor with a clang.

'I understand now. But it's too little too late. I will never forgive you. You've hurt me too much for too long. To forgive you would be to absolve you. No matter how wrong I've been, no matter how many bad things I've done, I'm not taking the blame for what _you_ have caused. They were your mistakes and yours only.'

'Do you still hate us?'

The straightforward question caught Loki off-guard, and he began to feel flustered.

'I forgive Thor. And I still love Mother, even though she deceived me as much as you did.'

'But _my_ actions, in your opinion, were unforgivable?'

'Yes. Being a wise king does not make you a good father. You did not give Thor and me the childhood we deserved."

'I understand.' The All-Father paused. 'Thor was not alone in his grief. I believed you dead too. Would you permit me to hold you?'

'No.'

'Very well.'

Odin left, and not long after Loki began to cry – stupid, pointless, angry tears of frustration, at himself for being so hateful, at his saviours for forcing him into this situation, and at Odin for being the root of all this. Sleipnir snorted, his long tail swishing, and turning his head nuzzled at Loki's shoulder.

'**Sir, would you like me to notify Mister Odinson or Mister Banner of your distress?**' J.A.R.V.I.S. spoke at a low volume as if not wanting to be too intrusive, and Loki wondered if Stark had programmed the A.I. to treat him so.

'No.'

'**Is there anything that I can do?**'

'No. Leave me alone.'


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N: Sorry for the wait. I had to rewrite this chapter from memory because I deleted the original document by mistake. Moral of story: pay attention to what you're deleting.**

**Loads of thanks to Insane Elvish Vampire Pirate And The Demented Hobbit Ninja, Ynath Esrith, EvilConcubine, THORKISUPPORT, Haruko-Mizumi, Quantumphysica, AvengersJunkie, MilkyWayGalaxy, angrbodagiantess, Potkanka, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, vykrothe (**_**hope you enjoy! Btw, you're 700th! :D**_**), Guest, Blood Never Lies (**_**I don't think Loki's trauma is helping either; he's become very dependent on Thor**_**), Aquarinus and Guest for reviewing, my Fav'ers and Followers for Fav'ing and Following, and Bomber for beta'ing.**

It was the cold that woke Thor early the next morning; he rolled over to find himself alone in a half-empty bed. Scrambling up, a hurried search of the guest suite quickly allayed his fear that his brother was missing – Loki was asleep on one of the sofas. It was a two-seater, and not long enough to accommodate his body. He was curled up with his head at an uncomfortable angle on the armest. He had no blanket and was hugging himself in his sleep. His swollen, reddened eyelids and tear-streaked cheeks needed no explanation.

Not wanting to overreact, Thor didn't wake him, instead making a cup of coffee. He had heard it had some potent healing properties when it came to sleeplessness, and hoped it might help Loki. As he was figuring out how to use the kettle, Loki woke – tired and stiff.

'Good morning,' Thor tried to inject a smile into his voice. 'Did you sleep well?'

'No. Not at all.' Loki sat up, rubbing at a crick in his neck. 'I went for a walk last night and had an unwelcome encounter...Father and I had words.'

Thor put down his teaspoon nervously.

'He did not speak harshly to you, did he?'

'Oh, no. He was all lenience and tactfulness, making me feel guilty. No doubt he is reserving his anger for when we get home. He is king of Asgard after all, and cannot make a spectacle of himself in front of the mortals.'

Loki was sounding more like his old, distrustful, sharp-tongued self, and Thor couldn't decide if it made him glad or uneasy. The trickster moved his legs away as Thor pulled up a chair and seated himself nearby, looking carefully into his brother's face.

'Loki...Father has healed you. Do you really believe him to be insincere?'

'No. I'm sorry.' The face of cynicism bled away, leaving behind the Loki which months of pain and fear had shaped – weary, afraid, and trying to hold onto his shattered pride the only way he knew how. 'I don't have the resolve to do what I know I should. I don't expect you to understand. You always stand and fight, but I'm not like you. I never was.'

'That's because you were always smarter than me.'

'I disappoint you, don't I?'

'No. You're one of the bravest people I've known, and I have known a great many. Here. Drink this.'

'Thank you.' Loki accepted the cup and took a sip, grimacing slightly at the bitterness. He concentrated a minute, and a golden shimmer enveloped him, leaving in its wake black leathers and green cloth flowing over his body. Only a glamour, admittedly, but it was better than wearing borrowed clothes. 'How do I look?'

'Like yourself.'

That was enough to satisfy Loki. Before they could think of a more light-hearted topic of conversation, J.A.R.V.I.S. spoke.

'**Sirs, Mister Borson wishes me to notify you that he will be joining you for breakfast**.'

Loki trembled slightly; his fingers shifted on the cup's handle, trying not to spill coffee.

'It's only one meal,' Thor said, 'That can't be such a bad experience, can it?'

'No,' Loki conceded, albeit doubtfully. Putting aside his barely-touched coffee, he rose. 'I might go for a walk to wake myself up. I won't be long. I'll be back in time for Father.'

'Very well.'

Loki did as he said, and to his great relief did not bump into anybody unwanted. But he found himself frequently glancing over his shoulder or checking before turning a corner. This building had once felt so large and lonely, days going by without seeing another living soul but Thor, but now it felt like a prison. How much longer could he and Odin stay in the same place without something bad happening – without tensions erupting or an argument breaking out? As he paused at the junction of two corridors, another option occurred to him.

'Jarvis,' he said thoughtfully, 'Am I allowed outside?'

'**As far as I am aware, you are permitted free autonomy; however, I would personally discourage you from leaving the premises. It would be detrimental to your security**.'

'But I _am_ allowed outside, yes?'

'**I have been given no instructions specifying otherwise**.'

'Then it's nobody's business where I go. The great All-Father is here, after all, and the humans wouldn't dare oppose him, no matter how much they hate me.' Loki hesitated, then added recklessly, 'If anybody asks where I've gone, don't tell them. Say only that I needed some time alone. How might I leave this building unobserved?'

'**The main entrance in the ground-floor lobby is currently deserted**.'

'Where is everybody?'

'**Mister Stark and Mister Banner are sleeping, Miss Romanoff is reading a book, Mister Barton is at target practice, and Mister Odinson is making breakfast in your shared suite, which it appears Mister Borson is currently enroute to**.'

'Thank you.'

The lobby was indeed empty except for Sleipnir, who followed Loki unquestioningly. His exit route was unobstructed – a smooth door of metal and glass. Loki hung back, then pressed the button to open it and stepped through, leading the horse by the reins. As simple as that, he was outside. Mounting Sleipnir, he spurred the animal into a trot, hooves clip-clopping along the pavement.

As he did so, J.A.R.V.I.S. – unhindered by the more difficult complications of human emotions and etiquette – calmly and quietly notified the Avengers of their guest's departure.

Loki hadn't gone thirty metres before everything went wrong. Passers-by began running, most of them shouting or screaming. Still determined, Loki continued ahead instead of retreating. He was still re-familiarising himself with the feel of riding, and once or twice almost overbalanced in the saddle. Car tyres screeched and he heard several smashes. Almost struck by an oncoming van, Loki kicked Sleipnir into full gallop, trying to get off the road. He couldn't.

Vehicles hemmed him in – bright ones with wailing sirens. Armed men appeared. Sleipnir shied away from the spinning red-and-blue lights, and Loki made soothing noises in his ear. They were surrounded. Still trying to salvage the situation, Loki raised his hands in surrender and began to alter his glamour to something more harmless, shedding his armour.

At the first flare of magic, the police opened fire. Sleipnir bolted, leaping over one of the cars, letting out a high-pitched scream as bullets punched into his shining flank. His legs faltered, folded underneath him and he hit the ground chest-first, throwing Loki off his back. Loki rolled to a halt in an undignified heap, and scrambled onto all fours to see Sleipnir's blood pooling. The horse was struggling to get back on its feet, whinnying frantically, when he was shot again, and the guns turned on Loki.

Frozen to the spot, Loki stared. A fist grabbed him from behind and hauled him up; he resisted, only to realise it was Thor, standing over him in a defensive posture, hammer in hand.

'Lay down your arms!' he called to the police. 'No harm was meant, nor was any done.'

A moment later, Thor's protective gesture was rendered entirely unnecessary when the All-Father appeared with a blaze of light and a sound like a thunderclap. Human opposition ended then and there. Kneeling, Odin placed a hand upon Sleipnir, but the horse's heart was already failing and too much blood had been shed for him to replenish. With a single, swift blow, Odin ended his suffering, then rose to face the humans.

'I will not allow another weapon to be fired. Go back to your homes in peace.' Lowering his voice, he ordered Thor, 'I must pacify the mortals. Take your brother out of here before this gets any worse.'

'Where are the others?' Thor asked, confused as to why only Odin had come to his aid.

'I commanded them not to come. The less they are involved with this incident, the better. Now get Loki out of here.'

Thor obeyed, and with a whirl of Mjölnir carried Loki unceremoniously back to the Tower. The other Avengers – contrary to the order they had been given – had been just about to leave, too impatient to wait. They were relieved to see both brothers unhurt.

'Is everything okay?' Rogers asked. He hadn't time to suit up properly, and was still wearing the T-shirt and jeans he had been relaxing in when the alarm had been raised.

'Nobody was killed. Damage was done, but it's nothing too severe. There's nothing to fret over.'

'Where's the horse?' asked Stark.

But Thor didn't stop to speak, guiding Loki firmly towards a side-lounge. It was a silent walk. No matter how frustrated he felt, he didn't have it in him to be angry with Loki, who was clearly too upset to handle a rebuke right now. Once they were out of the others' earshot, Loki finally spoke.

'Don't be angry with me.'

'I'm not.' Closing the door, Thor sat him down on the nearest sofa. 'Only worried. Are you hurt?'

'No.'

'Are you sure? You were not shot, or struck?'

'No. I fell off Sleipnir, but I'm alright.' Loki was calming down. Thor sank down beside him with a sigh of relief. 'I didn't mean to cause any trouble. Please understand that.'

'I do. It's just – ' At that instant, the door opened and Odin entered. Thor and Loki rose simultaneously; Thor stood his ground, but Loki edged into a corner, hoping to remove himself from this confrontation. 'Father – ' Thor began.

'Be silent.' Odin snapped. 'What exactly did you hope to accomplish?' he confronted Loki. 'I came here to place you under my protection, and the first thing you do is run away from the only place where you are safe? Have you lost your wits as well as everything else? Innocent citizens could have been caught in the crossfire – would you see Midgard devastated because of you once again?'

'I'm sorry,' Loki's voice was almost inaudible.

'You could have been hurt, or abducted.'

'I'm sorry,' Loki repeated. Squaring his shoulders, he straightened up. 'Causing trouble was not my intention. I merely wanted to...' but he couldn't bring himself to say "get away from you" to Odin's face. 'I apologise. I ask for your pardon.'

'Ask nothing from me. You expect too much of other people's loyalty and goodness but require neither from yourself. Lives were endangered, but you lay there in the dirt while others risked themselves for you.' When Loki glanced desperately at Thor for aid, Odin added, 'Do not think to shield yourself with your brother. You are not a child!'

Unable to stand by and listen, Thor stepped forward.

'Father, being angry at him will do no good. He has done no wrong. No life but Sleipnir's was lost, and no Midgardian was killed. In fact, they are more likely to keep a safe distance now – '

'Do you think I relish intimidating the mortals? My duty is to _guard_ these realms, not _threaten_ them for your sake.'

The All-Father reached towards Loki, and in panic Loki evaded him, disappearing with a flicker and re-materialising a short distance away. This time Odin made a motion as if seizing and wrenching something, and Loki reacted to it, gasping as if winded. The blood drained from his face in shock, and his glamour suddenly vanished. Half-naked, a pathetic sight, he scrambled for the shelter of his brother's shadow.

'Make him stop,' he begged, 'Make him see I'm sorry. Make him stop.'

Caught between embarrassment and outrage on Loki's behalf, Thor glared at the All-Father.

'What have you done?' Thor demanded, 'What is the meaning of this?'

Odin ignored him.

'For the time being, you will make do without your magic. You will stay within these walls where you may be guarded. Am I understood?'

Loki nodded without raising his head, still hiding behind Thor.

'If you do anything else to compromise the wellbeing of your brother, yourself, or the people upon whose charity you are living, my patience with you will run out.'

Loki flinched as if slapped.

'_Enough!_' Thor roared abruptly. 'If you utter one more word to him, then powers or no powers I will silence your tongue!'

Odin turned his attention to his elder son with a damning look.

'But for your negligence, this would not have happened. Do not let your brother out of your sight again – or he will bring trouble to more than himself.' Without another word he strode out, leaving a terrible silence. Too stricken to speak, all Loki did was cling to Thor for dear life.

'It's alright,' Thor comforted him uselessly, hollowly, not believing it himself. 'I promise, everything will be alright.'


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N: Thank you to my reviewers The RedDragonEnforcer4, Guest, jaquelinelittle, Dazja, EvilConcubine, thegriffin88, AvengersJunkie, Ynath Esrith, Potkanka, angrbodagiantess, THORKISUPPORT, Aquarinus, Doris Fang, Insane Elvish Vampire Pirate And The Demented Hobbit Ninja, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, ShadowAbsol13 and mistyfoxmaid, my Fav'ers and Followers, and beta Bomber :o)**

**Just a heads-up, I think **_**Reaching You**_** might finish sooner rather than later. I absolutely love writing Loki/Thor, and I'm sorry to disappoint any of you, but the hurt/comfort arc has kind of run its course, now that Loki is out of the frying-pan. Perhaps I'll wait until **_**Thor: The Dark World**_** before doing another long Thorki (because the eruption of FEELS is going to be visible from outer space when that film comes out).**

**In the meantime I still intend to write, but I'm not sure what yet. I've been thinking of dabbling in OC or AU territory, but haven't made up my mind.**

Neither Odin nor Loki were seen at all for the next week; Thor only emerged for food. On his sixth or seventh such trip, he found Banner and Stark at the dining table.

'How's Loki holding up?' the doctor asked him.

'Not well. Ever since our confrontation with Father, he has feared to set foot outside our chambers.'

'That's...not good.'

'Indeed.' Thor took a deep breath. 'You see, Father saw fit to – '

'Take his power. I know. We kinda eavesdropped. Will Loki cope without it?'

'That remains to be seen. He still has his health, but...I fear he has been made mortal.'

'Being able to die's not so bad,' Banner pushed his reading-glasses further up his nose. 'So how long until Loki gets his...magic...back? This punishment can't be indefinite.'

'Punishment? No, no, no, it was not meant as a punishment, only as a precaution to discourage Loki from leaving the Tower again.' Thor was moving around the table, piling food onto a plate for Loki.

'Well, it sure looked like a punishment to me. Just how much did your dad love that horse?'

'Not as much as he loves Loki.' Thor frowned. 'To tell the truth, I am...frustrated. With Loki for not standing on his own two feet, with Father for being unforgiving, and with myself for allowing this to happen.'

'Try not to blame them. Loki's...unstable, and your dad nearly lost one of his sons. Besides, what could you have done? Put a tag on Loki?' Seeing a lightbulb go off in Stark's head, Banner added, 'A tracker device is _not_ an option, by the way. Loki is a free man, not an...animal.'

'How much longer until your dad opens this damn portal?' Stark asked.

'In due time. As long as we keep Loki safe and sound, there's no urgency.'

'No urgency?' said Tony, 'Loki's human and there's a spider-horse lying dead in one of my walk-in freezers.' He jabbed a fork into a dish of braised chicken. 'What was he thinking when he went outside, anyway? I don't know what everyday life on Asgard is like, but down here, magic armour and eight-legged horses aren't exactly incognito.'

'He is aware of that. But Loki has spent so long fearing this place, I think he wanted to...'

'Face his fears?'

'...You could say that.'

'Well, if it's not an Asgardian capital offence, tell your dad to get a move on.'

'I will speak to him,' said Thor reluctantly, 'But first, things must be resolved between him and Loki.' He returned to his and Loki's suite, and his heart sank to find that Loki had not moved an inch from where he'd last seen him. 'Here. I wasn't sure which foods you'd like, so I brought a bit of everything.'

Loki nodded his half-hearted thanks. Over the past week he had been growing steadily more and more haggard and pale, as much from self-neglect as from his loss of power.

'Is Father still angry?'

'I haven't spoken to him,' said Thor tersely, 'As far as I know, he has kept himself to himself. I know not what he does in his solitude.' He sat and watched his brother eat until his thoughts drifted elsewhere; he was brought back by Loki speaking.

'Thor. Am I mortal?'

The question caught Thor off-guard; the idea had of course occurred to him, but had been too ghastly to contemplate.

'I – I don't know. I don't _think_ so – '

'But when he banished you, he took your longevity along with your power. You could die...you _did_ die when I smote you with the Destroyer's fist. Can I be killed now?' Loki's panic was rising.

'I don't know, brother, and I'd rather not find out.'

Loki put his half-eaten dinner aside, appetite gone.

'Sometimes I...don't feel quite right. I feel _different_.'

'Perhaps your mind is making you feel sickness where none exists. Jarvis, where is Odin?' Thor asked suddenly.

'**On the roof, sir**.'

'Alright. Come along, brother.' Not giving Loki time to refuse or cling to the furniture, Thor ushered Loki out of the suite and towards the nearest elevator. 'Father is not so unreasonable; I'm sure he will listen to you.'

'But...I have no desire to see him.' With sudden force, Loki shook free of Thor's grasp. Thor had not realised until that moment exactly how feeble his brother was as a mortal; he could barely feel Loki's resistance.

'Loki, you must do this. Please. You cannot be at odds with him forever. I am sorry to push you but this must be fixed.'

'Go ahead, brother.'

'What?' Loki faltered in mid-step. 'But you are coming with me, aren't you?'

'This is between you and Father. Do not worry, you can always walk away from him if you wish. If things get out of hand, just call for me. I'll come.'

With further encouragement and a few not-so-subtle nudges, Loki went out onto the rooftop alone to speak to the All-Father. Odin stood motionless, hands clasped behind his back, as if deep in thought. He gave no acknowledgement of having heard Loki's approach._ He does not want to speak to me_, Loki thought painfully.

'...Father...?' he began.

'A moment,' Odin interrupted quietly. Loki waited. Eventually the All-Father turned to face him, his expression tired but – to Loki's relief – devoid of anger. 'I'm listening.'

All the words Loki had been preparing and rehearsing in his head were suddenly forgotten; his mouth opened and closed without speech, and his gaze slid to the floor. The silence was torment. Finally he managed to force out:

'Thor is prepared to...to stay here with me – '

'No,' said the All-Father simply. Loki didn't dare contradict or question him. 'Look there.' Odin nodded towards something a short distance away. Loki followed his gaze and saw a tiny orb of light flickering weakly in midair. Magic. Raw, unfiltered magic, made visible by sheer magnitude. 'In a matter of hours, this will blossom into a portal. A doorway home. It has cost me much strength to perform this feat so quickly. I cannot keep rending the fabric between worlds, Loki. The mortals are already tired of these intrusions into their home.' He paused, expecting a reply. Loki kept glancing back at the door, behind which Thor was waiting. 'Will you not speak?'

Loki's throat was dry and it took him a moment to find his voice.

'What do you want me to say?'

'You could give some indication that you've heard one word I've said.'

'I have heard you.'

'But have you understood me?'

'Yes.'

'Where you go, Thor will follow. That is an indisputable fact. But he is a prince of Asgard, and his realm needs him. He cannot and will not stay here.'

Loki made a final attempt.

'I can help the humans. There will always be some threat or other to their realm, and I can make myself useful – '

'You have allies here, Loki, but Earth is not your home. The hurt you caused this realm in the past is too great to be quickly forgotten. For your own good, and for the good of the humans, you must leave Midgard.'

'As long as I have friends, there will be a place for me.'

'And what kind of life do you think you will live here? Neither an enemy nor an ally...neither a prisoner nor a guest. Constantly looking over your shoulder for fear of retribution. Do you intend to spend the rest of your existence being coddled and isolated? Is that the life you desire?

'No.'

'Then why are you so determined to condemn yourself to it?'

'I will have Thor, and that is all I need.'

'_For now_. But when your scars heal, when you have grown strong and brave, restless and bored...what then?'

Loki's voice shook slightly as he replied:

'Do you really hold me in such low esteem, that you think _boredom_ will stop me from appreciating my brother?'

'Also,' Odin broke in, 'As long as you are on Earth, I will not grant you your power back. I love you, but I do not trust you.' The All-Father turned to face the Manhattan skyline once more. 'You are welcome to live wherever you wish, but there is no place for you and no life for you on Earth. There _is_ a place for you on Asgard. Bear that in mind.'

Loki walked away. His hands were trembling as he reached for the button to open the door. Thor had been listening anxiously but unable to overhear anything.

'The portal will be ready soon,' Loki told him. 'I will go home.'

Thor wasn't quick enough to hide his surprise.

'But...I thought – '

'It's my only choice,' was all Loki said by way of justification. 'You don't have to come with me.'

'Of course I do. Don't speak so.' Thor seemed almost angered by his brother's compliance with Odin's orders; but by the time they had reached their quarters, he had evidently thought it over and decided it was for the best. 'I have almost forgotten how it feels to be part of a whole family. Mother will be overjoyed to see you.' He hesitated. 'Will you say goodbye to the others?'

'No. You know I haven't the stomach for sentimental farewells.' Loki smiled hollowly.


	41. Chapter 41

**A/N: Hugs and thank-yous to my readers, Fav'ers, Followers, beta Bomber, and reviewers EvilConcubine, Guest, MilkyWayGalaxy, ShadowAbsol13, kakashidiot, THORKISUPPORT, jaquelinelittle, Guest, AvengersJunkie, OhThoseFeels, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, angrbodagiantess, Guest, Insane Elvish Vampire Pirate And The Demented Hobbit Ninja (LOL) and Aquarinus.**

**At some point before March, I should be starting a new Thorki fic. I hope you'll check it out :o)**

Thor said goodbye to his friends while Loki napped, explaining to them the need for his abrupt departure; Loki woke to the sound of the God of Thunder's return, and as he sat up, shifting his legs over the edge of the bed, his foot hit something on the floor. It was a lumpy parcel – not so much wrapped as haphazardly folded. He picked it up. Despite its size, it was very light, and the contents seemed soft. Loki brought it to show Thor.

'Did you put this by my bed?'

'No.' Thor was puzzled, but too preoccupied to really care. For some reason he was holding an empty saucepan, along with the sofa cushion which Loki favoured sitting on, as if he thought they had some sentimental value and wanted to say goodbye to them. 'Perhaps it's for you.'

Curiously, Loki tore open the package to find a T-shirt which seemed to be his size. He held it up to himself to check if it would fit, and discovered a colourful print on the front apparently depicting a group of harnessed deer. One of them had a red nose. He pointed to it.

'What is this?'

'Probably a gift.' Thor misinterpreted the question.

'Can I take it?'

'Of course.'

Loki carefully folded the garment up and tucked it inside his shirt. As he was throwing away the wrapping-paper, completely by chance he found a note, scrawled in tiny letters as if the sender half-hoped it wouldn't be read. "_Because there's no way I'm giving you a present in person_". He could smell Tony Stark all over it.

'The portal is ready,' Thor informed him, 'We haven't long left. Loki, are you _absolutely certain_ that – '

'Yes. I will live and die a mortal otherwise,' Loki replied shortly. 'Between early death and long life, which would _you_ choose?'

Thor had no rebuttal to that.

Loki ended up saying goodbye anyway. The Avengers were there to meet him, Thor and Odin on the rooftop, and there was no way he could avoid one final interaction with the people who had saved his life.

'Doctor Banner,' he said awkwardly. 'I...' _I what? Owe you my life? Can never repay you for your kindness?_ 'I...thank you.'

'That's okay.' Bruce adjusted his glasses and held out his hand to shake Loki's. Loki hesitated, then clasped it instead.

Behind them, Thor was bidding farewell to Steve Rogers, saying in a low voice:

'I will return as often as I am able. Rest assured, any time you need me, I will be here.'

Loki swallowed and concentrated on Banner's hand in his own, trying to formulate some decent parting words.

'You've treated me well. And I'm sorry – for trying to use you as a weapon. Maybe one day I'll return as a...' Loki floundered in search of an appropriate word.

'A friend?'

'...Probably not quite. But something like it.' Releasing the doctor, he turned to find Natasha Romanoff looking up at him, Barton a few steps behind her as always. Loki's goodbyes to the former S.H.I.E.L.D. agents was equally respectful, but more neutral. 'Be safe,' was all he told them.

'Be good,' Romanoff replied. It seemed that she was finished, but then, in an awkward gesture, she lightly bumped his arm and added, 'Look after Thor and yourself.'

'I will.' Loki glanced expectantly at Tony Stark, but the billionaire's arms were crossed and he was staring off into the distance, eyes hidden behind sunglasses. Judging by his mouth, he was trying not to smile.

Odin, who had waited quietly by the portal, now signalled that it was time to leave. Thor went unhesitatingly to his side, but Loki approached with slow steps, halting out of arm's reach.

'My son?' the All-Father prompted him. After a moment's final hesitation, Loki reached out to take his hand. With Thor on his right and Loki on his left, Odin turned to face the portal. Light and colour engulfed them, the ground rushing in no definite direction.

The sunshine and starlight. The gardens. The gleam. The aroma of Asgard. It all lay before him in a beautiful sensory array, a memory he hadn't even realised he'd forgotten. _My home_. Rather less welcome was the realisation that Heimdall and a phalanx of guardsmen were there to greet them.

_Why guards? Are they going to arrest me? Was this all a trap?_ But Loki's sudden panic subsided as the welcoming party knelt to greet their returning king.

'All-Father, the Queen sits awaiting your return,' said Heimdall.

'Then we will go to her with all haste,' Odin replied.

As the entourage began to head towards the golden palace, Thor strode happily along, not realising that Loki was falling behind until he was already several metres ahead. Slowing, he asked with concern:

'Are you alright, brother? Is something the matter?'

'I'd rather not trumpet my return. Can we go unseen?' Loki asked in a hushed voice. Thor laughed at him.

'Unseen? You've just come home! And you have been welcomed back with open arms. We should be rejoicing in the halls, not _hiding_ from a few whispering servants – '

'I don't think the population of Asgard counts as _a few_, Thor. Please, I don't want any fuss, I just want to be back in my chambers, among my things...'

'Very well, very well. _But_,' Thor pointed meaningfully at him, 'Father wants _both_ of us to be in attendance at this feast. I hope you will sit at the high table, not slink through the kitchens for leftovers afterwards.'

'I will sit wherever you want. Now can we slip away?'

But slipping away was impossible, and soon they arrived at the throne-room, where Lady Sif and the Warriors Three stood guard beside the queen. Frigga rose immediately from the throne and swept down the steps in her golden dress, her habitual sense of propriety giving way to sheer happiness.

'Loki...' She hugged him close and long while he stood awkwardly, his hands on her back, as Odin ascended to the throne to address the court.

'As you see, I have returned with both of my sons, safe and well. Tomorrow there will be a feast to welcome them home.' A subtle emphasis was placed on the inclusion of Loki; with a wave of his hand, Odin gestured for the onlookers to disperse. 'For now, they will rest.'

Frigga was only half-listening, unable to think of anything but her son; leaning up to his ear, she whispered:

'I began to think I would never see you again.'

Finally letting go of him, she embraced Thor for a shorter time but with equal warmth, before remembering her decorum. Sif and the Warriors Three had approached; Fandral looked as if he wanted to greet Loki, but didn't dare to.

'My friends,' Thor clasped Hogun's shoulder. 'It is good to be together again.'

They responded in kind, but it was impossible to avoid acknowledging Loki's presence. He didn't meet their gaze, looking to Thor for guidance.

_What exactly am I?_ Loki thought, _A prince and a criminal, royalty and scum. I miss Earth already. At least there, I knew where I stood...and who I could trust._

'Well,' said Volstagg at last, with his usual hearty bluff, 'You're back now.'

'Yes,' Fandral gave a valiant attempt at a grin, 'And looking well, too! A little weary, perhaps, and oddly dressed...'

'A change of clothes will remedy that,' Thor said, 'Come, brother, to your bed-chamber. I'll tell the servants to pour a hot bath for you. You needn't wear human garb any more.'

Sif still had not spoken, giving Loki a long look which came dangerously close to assessing. In response to Thor's words, she nodded without taking her eyes off his younger brother, before Thor led Loki away from the hustle and bustle and into the quiet privacy of the royal quarters.

They parted ways at the door to Loki's chambers, and Loki took a deep breath before opening it. Nothing had been touched. Not the books, not the scrolls, not even an empty goblet he had carelessly set aside; they were all still exactly as he remembered them, albeit gathering dust from months of disuse. He began carefully picking up random, trivial objects – a paper-weight from the desk, a cork from a potion bottle – and simply holding them, feeling their contours and texture, breathing in their dusty but familiar scents.

Predictably, only a few minutes had passed before Thor was knocking loudly on the door, cheerfully informing him that there was going to be every variety of food and refreshment and entertainment possible tomorrow. Loki mumbled a reply. Interpreting this as an encouragement, Thor entered uninvited.

'Brother, what have you been doing? Not _cleaning_, surely? Listen, I was thinking we should go for a horse-ride. Perhaps a hunt too. Just the two of us. Well, perhaps Lady Sif and the others as well, but only if you want them to – although a larger hunting party would be better – '

'The last time I was on Asgard, I was wreaking destruction upon Jötunheim and threatening the lives of the king and crown-prince. They may have forgiven me, but I doubt they will have _forgotten_. No amount of remorse and torture could wipe my slate clean entirely – not in _their_ eyes. I doubt they will want to come _riding_ with me. Besides – '

'A bit of fun will do you good,' Thor interjected.

'This _is_ fun,' Loki hastily assured him, not wanting to dampen Thor's celebration.

'What is? Rearranging inkwells and feather-quills?' Thor teased him.

'I mean – being home is good – ' Despite himself, Loki felt slightly hurt.

Striding across the room, Odinson opened the windows wide to let sunshine and breeze in; then he lay back on the bed contentedly. Loki's bedstead, unused to extra weight, creaked slightly underneath him. Loki sighed and slumped down on top of him, hoping it would either make him laugh or bother him into leaving: both perfectly desirable ends. Instead, Thor smiled and placed his hand on Loki's head as it rested on his chest.

'I cannot believe we are home,' he said, 'I've been wanting this for so long, and now finally...'

'Odin has yet to return my magic,' Loki reminded him.

Thor's expression of happiness faded. After a few seconds he said with utter seriousness:

'Somehow that slipped my mind. I'm sorry.'

'Don't be. I expect he has other, more important things to do first. Like organise a pointless banquet.'

Thor was silent. Several minutes past as he thought up a multitude of answers and reasonings in his head, ranging from agreement to denial; but none of them seemed quite good enough, so he settled on a simple:

'I love you. So do Father and Mother. Now, do you want me to help you tidy up? I can do the clothes-chest, you could start with the bookshelves.'

'You, touch my belongings?' Loki scoffed, then rose and went to find his riding gloves.


	42. Chapter 42

**A/N: Thank you to EvilConcubine, Guest, Ynath Esrith, jnotjane (**_**thanks!**_**), jaquelinelittle, Aquarinus, THORKISUPPORT, angrbodagiantess, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, Guest, AvengersJunkie, Trinideanfan, Insane Elvish Vampire Pirate And The Demented Hobbit Ninja, Kekeh (**_**aww :oD**_**), booknerdhere and Guest for reviewing, my Fav'ers and Followers for Fav'ing and Following, and buddy Bomber for patiently beta'ing.**

As Loki stood before the mirror, giving his hair a perfunctory comb, he felt suddenly, inexplicably lonely. The T-shirt which had served as his farewell gift lay on the bed behind him; he had forgotten about it until it had fallen out while he changed clothes, donning a simple green jacket. The familiar smell of Stark, of _Midgard_ – cotton, plastic, a hint of whisky – only served to remind him how far away he was from the people he had come to think of as his allies.

'You there,' Thor summoned a servant, his loud voice startling Loki out of his reverie, 'Notify my mother that my brother and I are going out. Loki wishes to see Asgard in all its beauty again.'

Loki raised an eyebrow at Thor as the servant bowed and left.

'I do? I thought this was about you bringing back a mighty kill to show off at the feast.'

'Perhaps that too.'

They soon departed. Thor hesitated over whether or not to go to Odin first. It was only their first day home – first _hour_, in fact – and the last thing he wanted was to cause further injury to their already fractured family by bickering with the All-Father. Thor still held firm to the belief that his father, the King, did everything for a reason – including delaying the return of Loki's magic. He didn't doubt that everything would be fixed in due time.

Exiting the royal palace, they met with Volstagg, Fandral and Hogun. Loki did not join in the flurry of hearty greetings, pretending to be absorbed with straightening his clothes.

'Did Lady Sif not wish to come? Where is she?' Thor asked.

'She was...tired,' was the uncomfortable explanation. 'No doubt she will come next time, though.'

Thor knew very well that this was an affront to his brother, but out of affection for Sif he chose to let it pass. The four of them rode out in the sunlight. Thor was in the lead as always, with the Warriors Three following in the rear; Loki found himself caught awkwardly in the middle. Though he pretended not to listen to their conversation, out of paranoia he practically convinced himself he could hear Volstagg and Fandral whispering. Spurring his horse onwards, he rode abreast with Thor instead.

'Traitor!' a distant voice suddenly yelled out. It was faint, but echoed clearly between the pillars. Loki half-turned in his saddle, looking around in sudden panic, craning his neck to find his accuser. Then another person somewhere in the crowd shouted "Frost Giant!". Thor considered charging off in search of whoever had insulted his brother, but dismissed the idea.

'Ride on,' he said shortly, his jaw set. 'Do not listen to them, brother. Pay them no heed.'

Loki tried to obey, but he didn't have the heart to hold his head high; instead he kept his gaze down, hoping to go unnoticed.

Hogun was the only one who saw it flying towards them, but before he could open his mouth to utter a warning, the stone had already struck Loki's left temple. It made an audible crack. Loki didn't make a sound; his hold on the reins went slack and he keeled over sideways onto the ground. A volley of three or four other stones followed immediately, thumping against his lifeless body. His horse, finding itself riderless, backed away in confusion and alarm.

'_Brother!_'

Thor jumped down from his saddle. Loki was still conscious, but his gaze was completely unfocused, his mouth opening and closing noiselessly; and as Thor turned him over, he passed out. His dark hair was wet to Thor's touch.

'He's bleeding,' said Thor desperately. He realised Asgard had fallen silent – the crowds had noticed what was going on and were watching, hushed. Thor felt a sudden, bizarre panic at being surrounded and exposed, all these faces staring down at him. _Is this how Loki feels being a public enemy?_ Looking around, his gaze fell on one of the scattered stone, lying not far away – a small, mundane, innocent object. Stained red. It had been flung from high up on one of the crowded balconies.

'Here, let me take him,' Fandral offered. 'There's room on my horse.'

'No, I will carry him. If I don't have my hands full, I fear I'll pull out Mjölnir.'

Together they lifted Loki up onto Thor's horse, and Thor mounted behind him; with one arm around Loki and one hand on the reins, Thor rode back to the palace. Queen Frigga had been walking through the orchards; seeing them returning early, she initially smiled in surprise, only to halt in dismay as she saw Loki bloodied and unconscious.

'What happened?' she demanded as Thor dismounted with his brother in his arms.

'We had not yet left the city when a stone was thrown. It hit him in the head and...'

'Who would _dare_...? A stone? But he looks...half-dead!'

_Mother does not know_, Thor realised belatedly.

'His power is gone. He is mortal,' he said grimly.

'I don't understand. How – ?'

'Father deemed it best.'

It was difficult to say if Frigga's shock was greater than her outrage, or if both were equal.

'Can this injury put his life at risk?' she exclaimed.

'We do not know, my lady,' Fandral said, 'To us it would be nothing, but to him it was a harsh blow...'

'Take him quickly to the healing room.' Without another word and without an explanation, Frigga swept away.

The healers examined Loki, ascertaining that he had fractured his skull and that the brain beneath had sustained a severe trauma, but admitted they had no way of knowing if the injury would be survivable without Loki's innate magic. They had barely begun to treat the wound when the door re-opened and Odin and Frigga entered, crossing the room to Loki's bedside. The Warriors Three knelt instinctively, but Thor watched, glowering, as the All-Father placed a hand on Loki's bloody forehead. The broken skin began to mend and Loki's unsteady breathing eased.

'Tell me what happened.' Odin's tone was clipped and tense.

'Loki was assaulted while completely defenceless,' Thor said accusingly before he could stop himself. 'Some _cowardly scum_ dared to attack my brother's person – he lost consciousness and – '

'The injury is nothing. Do not distress yourself.'

' "Nothing"? If it had been an arrow, he would be _dead_ now!'

'Thor, I meant only that the injury can be easily healed, not that the _incident_ is nothing,' Odin clarified. Thor felt slightly ashamed of himself for misunderstanding, but it was not enough to calm his anger, and he glowered. 'I am your father, Thor, but I am also your king. I advise you to consider that before you continue speaking.'

Thor rejected his advice.

'Look what you have done! If you had not taken Loki's magic, he would've withstood this attack and escaped unscathed. Are you satisfied?'

'Do you think I _rejoiced_ upon receiving news of this from your mother?' Odin's own patience was fraying. 'Tell me, what is the reason that I took Loki's magic from him? To dissuade him from stupidity. And it worked. It is unfortunate, then, that it could not deter _you_ from doing whatever you please. Did it not occur to you to _wait_ until I had returned Loki's magic to him before dragging him outside on one of your "adventures"?'

'I should not have to wait! This is _home!_ Loki's home, the only place he loves! If he is not safe here, it is no fault of his, but down to _you_!'

The Warriors Three were staring at them, still kneeling.

'Enough!' Frigga interrupted. 'Loki is waking.' It was true; Loki had begun to stir. 'We will go now – the king and I have things to speak of.'

They left; the door had barely closed when Loki opened his eyes dazedly.

'Thor?' he said hoarsely.

'I'm here.'

'My head aches. What happened?'

'You don't remember?'

'No...only that we were out riding...' Loki touched his head, and his eyes widened to see blood on his fingers.

'Don't worry, the wound is healed.'

'What happened to me?'

Thor hesitated, realising that telling the truth would only destroy what was left of Loki's confidence. To know that he had been attacked in broad daylight – almost _killed_...

'You fell from your saddle,' Thor lied. The others looked at him in confusion. 'The All-Father had to heal you.'

'Fell?' Loki looked disbelieving. The healer had brought a bowl of warm water and a clean, soft cloth to wash the blood from his face and hair. Sitting up in bed, Loki winced but then smiled as if he thought Thor were telling a joke. 'Since when have I ever been a poor rider?'

'Your horse stumbled,' Thor continued with his lie, 'Somebody yelled in the crowd...you were distracted...'

Loki's face fell as he recalled the hate-filled shout of "traitor"; his shoulders hunched.

'I remember that.'

'It's best to forget about it. It will not happen again, I promise you. Don't dwell on it.' Thor clapped Loki's shoulder with false cheer. 'Come, once you're back on your feet, let's get you something to eat. It's been an age since you've had good Asgardian food.'

'Good idea,' Volstagg began. 'That'll put the spark back in you right away – '

'As long as it's not _poisoned_ – ' said Hogun simultaneously. An awkward silence followed. '...Not that it would be, I'm certain.'

'Brother,' Loki's voice had a definite tremor to it, 'Please, can we have privacy? I don't understand why you're all grouped around me as though I'm on my deathbed.'

'Because we were worried about you, naturally,' Fandral said.


	43. Chapter 43

**A/N: Lots of thank yous to reviewers ShadowAbsol13, MilkyWayGalaxy, Ynath Esrith, jaquelinelittle, EvilConcubine, angrbodagiantess, OhThoseFeels, Guest, booknerdhere, Potkanka, THORKISUPPORT, ninjaloki, TheRedDragonEnforcer4, Aquarinus, LilaC LioN, Guest and Insane Elvish Vampire Pirate And The Demented Hobbit Ninja, my Fav'ers, Followers and beta Bomber.**

Loki spent the night in the healing room, unable to sleep despite Thor's comforting presence at his side, and at dawn relocated to his bed-chambers. He was unable to shake his lingering headache, and went to bed promising he would only take a short nap to clear his mind. When Thor came searching for him several hours later, he found Loki still fast asleep. It wasn't until Thor stroked his hair to wake him that he saw Loki had been crying, and that he was holding the T-shirt. Quickly Thor turned away, pretending not to have noticed.

'Brother? What time is it?' Loki asked in a voice hoarse from sleep and sobbing.

'Mid-morning,' Thor answered. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Loki surreptitiously wiping his face dry. 'I came to ask you if you wished to have breakfast with Mother and...and Father. We've both been invited.'

Loki didn't reply, stuffing the T-shirt out of sight. Thor watched him cautiously, waiting for him to say that he was feeling lonely and afraid, that he had changed his mind and wanted to go back to Midgard – but Loki said nothing. It was only then that another, worse thought occurred to Thor: if Loki _did_ want to go back to Earth, they would have no means of doing so. Odin alone was powerful enough to summon the dark energy necessary to transport them, and if Odin denied them that privilege...

'I'll come,' Loki said quietly, startling Thor out of his train of thought. 'But only if you come too, and only if Mother's there.'

'Of course.'

Together, they had made their way to the king and queen's chambers and were admitted by the guards. The table was laid out and Frigga was already on her feet to greet them.

'Good morning, Mother.' Loki kissed Frigga's cheek, but his warmth died as he spotted Odin approaching.

'It's unlike you to be late and Thor to be early,' said the King. Noticing Loki's puffy red eyes, he enquired, 'Did you sleep well?'

'Yes, All-Father,' said Loki formally, his awkward courtesy distracting from the obvious lie.

Odin said nothing as they took their seats, Loki sitting as far away from Odin as possible even though the chair at his father's side was empty. It was a sumptuous breakfast, and Thor couldn't help but notice how it had been prepared with _Loki_ in mind – exquisite salads in the place of meat, nectar instead of wine. He felt glad that Odin was making an effort, but at the same time frustrated that the effort was such a small one.

'Loki,' Odin finally broke the silence, 'I know you are not labouring under any delusions as to why I invited you here: I wish to speak with you. Properly.'

'I thought you simply wanted us to – ' Thor began in a hurt voice, but a glance from his father silenced him.

'Tonight, all the important persons of Asgard will be in attendance at the banquet. I intend to address them, as is my duty as king. It is unavoidable that I must acknowledge your return. Your actions on Midgard are well known and widely discussed – but your _ordeal_ remains secret.'

Loki felt suddenly sick; carefully putting down his spoon, he took a sip of water to settle his stomach.

'As the people of Asgard see it, you were detained after the battle and served your sentence on Midgard. They do not know any better. They assume that your punishment is over, but they do not feel that it was _sufficient_. To them, it appears that I have granted mercy to one undeserving of it, and welcomed with open arms a dangerous traitor.'

For a split-second, Loki actually thought that Odin was about to summon the guards and have him thrown in a dungeon to satisfy Asgard. Frozen, he listened as the king continued:

'You now have two choices, Loki – I say "Loki" because, no matter how much you love Thor, this is not something which he should advise you on. It is not his decision to make. It is yours alone.'

Thor remained quiet; Frigga clasped his hand comfortingly beneath the table.

'Your first choice is this: you can say nothing of what Thanos and the Chitauri did to you. You can play the part of a remorseful and penitent Prince, eager to make amends for his past. I will publicly pardon you. You will be treated with every outward show of respect, as a Son of Odin should – but you will be hated. People will not accept you. People will whisper. People will plot against you. Attempts on your life will be made. _Throwing rocks_ is the least of it.'

Loki kept his eyes downcast. His fork moved slowly from his plate to his mouth, and he chewed mechanically without registering taste or texture.

'Your second choice is this: you can give me permission to make your history known.' Odin paused. 'I speak of your torture.'

'That's...a _choice?_' Loki's breath snagged in his throat. 'You would have the _whole world_ know about it?'

'This is not something that I wish to do. But if it must be done, then it will be. With your consent.'

'Which you do not have.' Loki sat up straight in his chair. 'What would you have me do? What would you have me make common knowledge? That I was beaten without reprieve for days on end, that I was so thirsty I drank acid by the bucket, that I – that I cried and begged like a coward? I'm sure these pretty little details would satisfy their appetite.'

'Details are unnecessary. Only the admittance that you were betrayed by your former allies and subsequently rescued from them by Thor. That way, your remorse will seem genuine and your renewed loyalty towards Thor will seem more believable. People will understand _why_ you have returned home as a Prince rather than as a prisoner of war.'

'No. I will not allow myself to be humiliated more than I already have.'

'Is Thor influencing your decision?'

'No, All-Father.'

'Then I respect your choice. But I ask you, one final time, to consider what it will be like spending the rest of your life being universally reviled. What prospects would you have? What future could you hope for? When I am gone and the time comes for your brother to ascend the throne, the hatred will only worsen, because unless Thor has a son, you will be his heir – and _nobody_ will want you as a future king.'

'If you think unpopularity is new to me, you are mistaken. I resigned myself to that life long ago.'

'Very well,' said Odin.

'He does not ask you to recollect your captivity, brother,' Thor spoke up, 'Only to admit that it happened.'

'They are one and the same to me.' Loki felt sudden tears sting his eyes and blinked them away angrily. Thor was the last person in the world he wanted to disagree with. 'Why are you taking his side against me?'

Thor's chair scraped as he rose; walking around the table, he placed his hands on Loki's shoulders. He could feel them shaking.

'I think this conversation is over, Father,' said Thor. 'Loki has made his choice.'

'So be it.'

'All-Father?' Loki managed to swallow back his emotion. 'When may I have my magic back?'

Frigga's head turned from Loki to Odin, giving her husband one of her quiet but sharp looks – queenly steel hiding behind silk.

'When I deem it appropriate,' was Odin's only reply.

Loki stood his ground.

'What happened yesterday would not have occurred if I had been able to defend myself. To continue living my life without magic is an invitation to bad things.'

'You may have your magic back when I have ascertained that you may be trusted with it.'

'So you do not trust me.' Loki sounded partly crushed, partly triumphant. 'After everything that's happened, you still think of me as a liar and backstabber. Do you really hate me so much that you think the moment my power is returned to me, I would plunge a knife between Thor's ribs? You accuse me of being unable to change who I am, but you are the one – '

'No matter how good your intentions are, you have the potential to be dangerous – as do all of us,' Odin interrupted him, 'Right now, you are frightened and indignant; your wisdom is weakened and your mind is not strong. And when you are cornered, you will defend yourself. And if you kill an Asgardian in self-defence, it will not help your case.'

Loki had forgotten that his brother's hands were still on his shoulders until he felt Thor clenching his fists.

'So this is it?' said Thor, struggling to not grit his teeth. 'This is your reason for depriving Loki of his power; you purposely want him to be defenceless so he will not be seen as a threat?'

'You are only partially correct,' Odin said with a crisp edge of anger, 'Doing this shows the outside world that I _am_ punishing Loki. Since he insists on being an outsider and an enemy, I need something to satiate Asgard's demand for his banishment, imprisonment, execution or worse. Between this and flogging, this is the lesser of two evils.'

Loki rose abruptly, Thor's hands falling away.

'I wish I had never come back,' he declared, 'The humans hated me, but at least they had a reason to: I harmed their world. Asgard hates me, but all I've done to it was try to be a better prince.' He turned and started to leave, then faltered and turned back. 'Let me make one thing clear, so I'll never have to say it again. I no longer care for your favour. I no longer care if you are proud of me or disappointed in me. Until now, I was still clinging to the hope that you might be a father to me, and I might be a son to you; but from this moment onwards, I reject you.'

He walked away. If he had been Thor, he would have slammed the door so hard it fell from its frame, but Loki left as quietly as a ghost. The guards looked startled at his sudden passage, but did not stop him. Thor looked around at his parents. Odin was still seated, his face unreadable. Frigga was the picture of composure, staring silently down at her plate. Thor noticed the slow, steady breaths she was taking, and realised the supreme effort his mother was putting into not losing her temper.

'You had better follow your brother,' she told him, 'Look after him.'

Thor nodded and exited. He did not look back.


	44. Chapter 44

**A/N: Thank yous to EvilConcubine, Aquarinus, Dazja, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, Guest, LilaC LioN, THORKISUPPORT, Guest, Ynath Esrith, kakishidiot, Guest, ninjaloki, angrbodagiantess, jaquelinelittle, Insane Elvish Vampire Pirate And The Demented Hobbit Ninja, Quantumphysica and ArainaHaldthin for reviewing.**

Loki hadn't gone far; it hadn't been long before his steps had faltered and he had leaned against the wall for support, bending down as if under a great weight, half-formed words and angry accusations still swirling through his head. By the time Thor caught up with him, Loki's anger had boiled away and all he said was:

'I have no father.'

Thor couldn't tell if Loki was grieving the fact or making a declaration.

'Then neither do I,' Odinson said, 'Because we are still brothers.' This seemed to calm Loki, who, after re-gathering his composure, allowed Thor to lead him through the palace. The halls and corridors were abuzz with expectation for the night's revelry, and signs of preparation were everywhere. 'His intentions are not bad,' Thor continued, 'Even if it does not seem that way, he is only doing what he thinks is best.'

'Best for Asgard. At my expense. What did he mean, by the way? When he said they would not stop at merely throwing rocks at me?'

'What?' Thor was confused, before remembering lying to Loki about the cause of his head injury. 'Well...I suppose if the people of Asgard are willing to hurl insults at you in public, it might not be wise to underestimate their capacity for violence.'

'That's what I thought,' Loki mumbled, 'But I just felt it was a rather strange thing to say, that's all...To be so..._specific_...'

'It was a hurried choice of words, brother, nothing more,' Thor reassured him, though the falsehood hurt him – as did Loki's trusting acceptance of it. 'Are you still hungry? You did not get a chance to eat much...I'll send for some food from the kitchens.'

But Loki had fallen silent; following his gaze, Thor saw Lady Sif approaching. He greeted her warmly, but was acutely aware of his brother's uneasiness.

'I've been looking for you,' Sif told them, 'I heard about what happened yesterday. The others said you were injured.'

'I'm quite alright,' Loki mumbled, 'It healed quickly, as you can see.'

'From what Fandral told me, I thought the attempt on your life almost succeeded.'

Confused, Loki looked to his brother.

'Thor?'

'I thought you would feel better if you did not know,' Thor muttered. Loki grew pale, and stood staring at the ground. Thor tentatively touched his head, but he pulled away. Sif realised she had put a foot wrong, and the three of them stood in awkward silence for a long minute.

'Still, you're alive,' Sif finally said. She was clearly uncertain of how to address Loki or treat him; turning to Thor instead, she focused on asking him how he was. 'I suppose you miss Earth,' she said half-teasingly.

Thor laughed.

'I miss my friends there. But I trust I will see them again before too long. And Loki, too, I hope. They are _his_ friends also.'

Sif's attention was forced back to Loki.

'You must be glad to be home at last,' she said.

'Very,' said Loki in an icy little voice, 'It is wonderful to be welcomed back so _eagerly_ by my friends.'

'I came to see how you were,' she said stiffly, 'If you would rather be hostile, so be it.'

'Don't waste your breath on untruths. You could not care less if I had lived or died. You're only here for the sake of Thor's feelings.'

Sif took a brisk step towards him, about to raise her voice; Thor, misinterpreting this as a movement to strike Loki, quickly grabbed her wrist.

'No! You could kill him.'

'What are you talking about?'

'He – ' Thor floundered, then snapped, 'He cannot fight you. It's...a safeguard.'

Sif freed her arm from Thor's grip and looked Loki up and down.

'In that case, I will let your insult go, but only because it would be dishonourable to challenge a weak enemy.'

She strode away. Loki did not speak again for the rest of the day. He evaded small-talk and when Thor asked him a question only nodded his head or shrugged accordingly. But Thor did not give up, and as evening approached and the banquet drew nearer, he accompanied his brother to his bed-chambers.

'Even if we do not go outside, you need not spend your time cooped up,' Odinson was saying, still hoping to wring a normal conversation out of Loki, 'You can entertain yourself – '

'And do what?' Loki finally asked, unable to maintain his silence any longer, 'Read books? You said it yourself that they're pointless. Study magic? I cannot wield it. Practice weaponry with you? I might as well ask you to bash my head in and have done with it. Play games? We are not children. Enjoy my friends' company? I have _so_ many.'

Startled by this outburst, Thor said:

'I did not mean to irritate you. Only to encourage you.'

'You've become quite good at that. Making things up to make me feel better. You told me our parents still loved me. You told me I would be forgiven and accepted. You told me everything would be alright. And I believed you. You _trapped_ me here. You _lied_ to me.'

'I'm sorry I misled you.'

'Don't worry. I was the one who let you mislead me. I should've known better,' Loki was making a show of being busy, grabbing piles of books and dumping them out of the way. Thor watched him with a heavy heart.

'Tell me how I might comfort you,' he requested.

'You can get me my magic back, find me a new realm to call home, and make me forget I was ever a Son of Odin,' Loki's voice shook slightly. 'And get me out of attending this ridiculous banquet tonight.'

'I fear I cannot do that. After the banquet is done, do you want me to spend the night with you?'

'No. Why would I want that? So you can cradle me like a baby and make me feel even weaker?' Loki flung out bitterly; but then, almost immediately: 'I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. You can stay tonight if you want to.'

'It's alright. I'll leave you be.'

'But if you want to stay...Please, you can stay,' Loki's face was burning with shame.

'It's alright,' Thor repeated, 'You've been seeking solitude since this morning and I've done nothing but bother you. We both need to get ready...Besides, I need to speak with Heimdall.'

'About what?'

'About our friends on Earth. They drew such animosity upon themselves by sheltering us...I want to know how they are faring now that we are gone.'

'I see,' Loki replied in a subdued tone.

'Do your best to sit through tonight, brother. I will make sure tomorrow will be a better day, I promise.'

Thor bid him goodbye and Loki curled up on the bed, his heart still a tight knot of hurt. Shutting his eyes tightly, he soaked in the silence, wondering half-heartedly if he might plead illness to avoid giving Odin what he wanted and entering the public eye, but finally concluding that it would be better to just get it over and done with.

The dagger came from nowhere. He didn't hear it hiss from its sheath, and only the slight scuff of a footstep made him open his eyes in time. Loki rolled out of the way and the blade slashed his pillow with a ripping noise.

'Guards!' he gave a muffled cry. Nobody came. He resisted the hand that attempted to cover his mouth, his teeth somehow unable to sink through his attacker's skin no matter how hard he bit.

Loki struggled. Untangling himself from the sheets, he slipped backwards off the bed; reflexively he tucked his chin in to avoid banging the back of his head. The man was already on top of him, his knee pressed to Loki's stomach to pin him down, and they hit the floor together, Loki attempting to hold the dagger away from himself with both hands. Despite everything, Loki was still quick-thinking; twisting with all his strength, he let his assailant's forward momentum carry him onto his own blade. A grunt halfway between pain and surprise, an exhalation, and the assassin went limp, sagging across Loki's legs.

As Loki kicked away the dead body and backed off, the door burst open. Thor, accompanied by several guardsmen, entered at a run, Mjölnir crackling in his fist. His eyes took in the corpse on the floor and Loki's cowering form in an instant. Dropping his hammer, he went straight to his brother, placing his hands on either side of Loki's head, checking him for injuries.

'I feared I was too late – Are you wounded?' he asked frantically. Loki honestly couldn't tell; his heart was pounding with terror and adrenaline, and the pain from his bruises hadn't had a chance to set in yet. He was shaking like a leaf. 'Your hands – you're bleeding!'

'It's not mine,' Loki managed to croak, 'The blood – it's his – '

'Get that out of my sight,' Thor ordered the guards, nodding towards the body. They obeyed. Relieved, Odinson stroked Loki's hair, running his fingers through strands glued together by sweat. 'Heimdall glanced upon you and warned me someone was in your chamber. Did you recognise them? Did you know them?'

'No. I think I've seen his face before, but I don't know where or when. I couldn't – ' Loki choked and swallowed ' – I couldn't fight him – he was trying to kill me but I couldn't fight – '

'He's gone now.' They embraced. The guards had carried the corpse out of the room and re-entered; Thor demanded furiously, 'How did he get in here? Why did you allow him to enter?'

'He said he had a message for your brother, my lord. He claimed you sent him.'

'So you let him in? You let – Never mind. Do your duty now and stand watch over my brother until I return. Do not let _anyone_, not even a servant, into these chambers apart from myself and my royal parents, is that understood?'

'Stay with me,' Loki caught at his arm as Thor tried to rise.

'Brother, I must get to the bottom of this – I must find out who sent this murderer – '

'Take me with you, then,' Loki begged. His knuckles had turned white as he held on. Not wanting the guards to see his brother plead, Thor nodded and helped Loki to his feet, summoning Mjölnir. The guardsmen parted to let them through the door. 'Where are the king and queen?' Thor demanded.

'In the throne-room, my lord. News has not yet spread,' was the reply.

'Go to them and tell them what has happened. This crime will not go ignored.'


	45. Chapter 45

**A/N: Thank you to EvilConcubine, Quantumphysica, Ynath Esrith, Guest, Aquarinus, THORKISUPPORT, LilaC LioN, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, ArainaHaldthin, Guest, bettylou79, angrbodagiantess, Kekeh, Insane Elvish Vampire Pirate And The Demented Hobbit Ninja, ShadowAbsol13, kakashidiot, MilkyWayGalaxy and Ordis for reviewing, and Bomber for betaing.**

The whispers followed them all the way to Heimdall's sentry post; Thor keeping one hand on Mjölnir, his free arm keeping Loki close to his side. _Do they know? Do they all know?_ he wondered, paranoia threatening to dissolve into sheer panic.

'Wait here,' he ordered Loki, who hung back reluctantly with the guards, allowing Thor and the Gatekeeper their privacy. 'Who sent the assassin?' Odinson demanded.

'I did not see,' said Heimdall simply, 'He was one of the royal guardsmen. He was there when Loki learned the truth of his parentage. It seems Loki was not the only one with whom the revelation did not sit well.'

At the news of this oath-breaking, Thor was too furious for words; he turned away to regain his composure.

'But what can be done?' he asked in a taut, clipped tone, 'How may we find the one responsible? The killer is dead and cannot be questioned.'

Heimdall's gaze had drifted over Thor's shoulder; turning, Thor saw Loki had crept closer and closer. Realising they had spotted him, Loki hurried over and began babbling.

'Brother, I can't stay here. The guards are whispering. Everywhere I turn there is somebody watching me. I wish we'd never come home. I want to go back to Earth. Let's go back to Earth, brother. Please.'

'It's not possible.'

'_Please_. I want to go back.'

'Loki, you don't understand, it's _not possible_. Neither of us have the power to traverse the Nine Realms without Father's aid.' Loki was silenced. Heimdall was watching them silently, his golden eyes lingering on Loki. Thor was glad to see that there was no sign of judgment in them – only Heimdall's usual, unbreakable calm. 'If I could do as you ask, I would – in a heartbeat. But it cannot be done. I'm sorry. We are completely cut off.'

'Your parents are looking for you,' Heimdall warned them.

'Come, brother,' Thor put his arm around Loki. 'Let's go back. Thank you, Gatekeeper.'

They had not made it halfway back to the palace when they met the king and queen. Frigga had been in the middle of dressing herself. Her hair was filled with arrangements of sweet-smelling flowers, but the job was only half-done.

'My sons – I've been looking for you!' Frigga clasped Loki's face, checked it for injuries, then kissed him. 'Are you hurt?'

'Only a little, Mother.'

'Where?'

Loki was awkwardly pulling up his sleeve to show her the bruising on his forearm, when Odin reached them.

'You killed the assassin?' he asked Thor.

'No. Loki killed him in self-defence.'

The All-Father's eye went from his elder son to his younger.

'Loki,' he said. Loki jumped like a frightened animal. 'Return to your chambers and make ready for your public appearance. Tonight is imperative.'

'What?' Thor was disbelieving, but Loki didn't dare disobey. He gave his brother a helpless look before leaving with his head down, walking quickly as if to escape, flanked by guards. Thor couldn't help but notice how it looked like Loki was being escorted away. 'Is that all you have to say?' Thor exclaimed. 'Loki was almost murdered in his own bed! He is terrified and you will not even console him?'

'We have only minutes left to prepare...'

'Loki's life is at stake!'

'_You think I do not know?_' Odin snapped, 'I, too, care for your brother, but I must balance my feelings with diplomacy, something of which you have proved yourself incapable. Tell me, in your _newfound wisdom_, what would you have done?'

'I would have silenced those who mutter against Loki,' Thor declared, 'I would have put an end to this, these damned pretences, this public charade – '

'How? By killing anyone who looks at him the wrong way? Would you _force_ Asgard to accept him?'

'Of course not – '

'Then how?' The All-Father stepped closer to point a stern hand. 'Since long before your birth, I have ruled Asgard undisputed. I have commanded respect and absolute authority. Never have I been questioned – until Loki. Until he cast a shadow upon my household and made _my only son_ look like an unworthy fool. I love Loki, but the future of Asgard's royalty, of our dynasty, has been endangered because of him. _Your_ future.'

The All-Father didn't so much as blink as Mjölnir fell. The ground cracked beneath Thor's feet, the sound of it almost drowned out by the blood rushing in his ears. When the echoes died, Thor realised a hush had fallen, broken only by his own ragged breathing; the king was giving him a deathly look.

'You think I do not consider Loki my child? I held him in my arms when he was a baby. I comforted him when he cried. I treasured his laughter and smiles, and grieved that I could not give him the same life that I gave you.'

'The life you gave him was of your choosing. It was not necessity that drove you to treat him as _expendable_,' Thor retorted furiously, 'I tire of you. I will go and help Loki tidy himself up after he was almost murdered in his own bed. _I_, at least, will care for him since nobody else will – '

'He does not need your help getting dressed. He has servants, as well as his own two hands.'

'Do you regret taking him in?' Thor demanded suddenly, 'Do you wish you had left him out in the snows of Jötunheim to die?'

'No,' said Odin quietly after a brief silence; and then, in the same angered tone as before, 'How could I ever?'

'Well, you might as well have done so,' said Thor viciously, 'Because that is how his life is going to end now – frightened, blameless and unwanted. All you did was postpone his death and prolong his suffering.'

Odin was silent. Thor strode away, passing his mother without a glance even though she reached for him.

'Thor,' he heard his mother's voice, but carried on walking. '_Thor_. Do _not_ walk away from me.' Thor stopped and turned. His hammer was still in his fist, but Frigga didn't even glance at it, reaching up to place her hands on his shoulders. 'Loki leans on you for strength; do not let him see you so agitated. You must be strong for your brother, do you understand?'

Thor calmed a little. He briefly clasped her hand, then removed it firmly from his shoulder and returned to the palace. Arriving at Loki's chambers, his anger spiked again to find Loki scrambling to obey the All-Father's orders, donning his royal gold.

'You should not have to do this,' said Thor. There was still blood on the floor; grabbing the nearest piece of cloth, he dropped to his knees and began scrubbing it angrily. 'If it were in my power, I would take you far away and never come back...'

'What if they try again?' Loki asked him, 'What if they keep coming for me until they finally get me?'

Rising, Thor threw away the bloodied rag.

'Your hair is still a mess. Come here.' Thor picked up a comb and, with unpracticed but well-meaning fingers, made Loki more presentable. He could feel Loki quivering, and it took every ounce of control to not snatch his brother into an embrace and never let go. 'There. Much better. You're tidy now.'

'What if they poison me?' Loki touched his throat as if imagining the burn of toxin.

'Then do not eat or drink. I will bring you food afterwards, straight from the kitchens.'

'I am afraid.'

Thor was too, but did not admit it. His fingers remained steady and warm; Loki was seized by a sudden urge to hold them, and he did so. Thor placed a kiss on his forehead before looking him up and down appraisingly.

'Are you ready for this, brother?'

'No.'

'Neither am I. But we'll be together.'

Arriving at the crowded great hall, the family made their entrance in the proper fashion: Odin in the lead, Frigga walking with her hand perched lightly on Thor's arm, and Loki behind. They assumed their seats and the feast began. The many tables were laden with an array of food, from which rose a myriad of mouth-watering scents; but Loki's mouth was dry, and he couldn't bring himself to eat a single bite. _Please, let it end soon...let me go back to my chambers..._

When he looked at Thor, he saw his brother drinking goblet after goblet of wine, his expression dark. On any other occasion, Thor would have been filled with laughter and high spirits, but it was all he could do to maintain a semblance of calmness. After what felt like an eternity, Odin rose from his seat at the head of the table, and silence fell.

'Loki, rise.'

Caught off-guard, Loki stood up slowly, pushing his chair back as quietly as possible. He did his best, keeping his head high and his back straight, but he could feel every eye in the hall centred on him; unable to bring himself to look at the multitude of faces, he let his gaze unfocus until all he could see was the golden gleam of the wall.

'It has been too long since the house of Odin has been whole; our business with Midgard has taken long to resolve. But now, my heir has returned for good, as has Loki.'

The silence prickled. Odin nodded towards Loki. Loki opened his mouth, only to find his jaw trembling uncontrollably. He licked his dry lips.

'I have come...home.' His voice was fainter than he intended, and he knew it would barely be heard in the far corners of the hall. 'I am...not who I was.'

The distant mutterings grew and ebbed like a gentle breeze: a muted chorus of "Liar". Sif was watching him, he realised, and the Warriors Three. Loki had never felt more naked in his life. He stole a glance at his mother. Frigga quickly hid her anxious expression and gave him an encouraging smile. He wanted to look towards his brother, but didn't dare turn his head away from the people.

'My loyalty lies with Asgard – and with my family, whom I...' He had meant to say "love", but the word died in his throat. 'I...I...'

He gave the All-Father a pleading look. Odin nodded again, and Loki sank down in his seat with an unintentional thump. Thor was still drinking.


	46. Chapter 46

**A/N: Thank you to EvilConcubine, Guest, jaquelinelittle, LilaC LioN, Ynath Esrith, I'mAGeekNotANerd, angrbodagiantess, THORKISUPPORT, kakashidiot, Insane Elvish Vampire Pirate And The Demented Hobbit Ninja, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, Aquarinus and booknerdhere for reviewing.**

**Today I had to put my dog to sleep. She was getting old and weak and wasn't feeling well. We took her to the vet to get a lump looked at, and ended up leaving with her body after being told the lump was liver cancer and her heart was failing. It was so sudden and unexpected and quick. She was the loveliest, most beautiful, gentle little dog in the world. I had her since I was 5.**

**I don't really know what to do. I'm going to try to continue writing and updating as normal.**

At that moment, the doors to the great hall opened and Heimdall entered, making straight for the royal family. There was a scraping of chairs and a shuffling of feet as the crowds parted to let him through. A guardsman would have knelt first as a request to speak, but Heimdall did not, nor was he expected to. He simply exchanged a look with Odin, then turned to face Thor.

'My prince. I bear ill tidings of Midgard.'

'Speak,' said Thor automatically.

'Your friends have suffered a blow. Your brothers in arms, Stark and Banner, are dead.'

Thor felt the pit of his stomach drop away into cold nothingness; the wine which had been swilling in his mouth was suddenly tasteless. Nearby, Loki's eyes had gone wide.

'How did they die?' were the first words Thor managed to say.

'In combat.'

'Combat? And the others – are they alright? I must go at once.'

'Thor – ' Odin began in a rather gentler voice than normal, but Thor interjected:

'This _cannot_ wait. They need me.'

'Good Heimdall, return to your post,' Odin commanded. The Gatekeeper bowed and walked away expressionlessly. The mutterings had started again, but they were of a different kind: confused and anxious, as news travelled in bits and pieces and those out of ear-shot speculated what was the matter. 'My son. You only came home yesterday.'

'They were...my good friends,' Thor responded. Sif and the Warriors Three had risen hesitantly from their seats, wanting to approach to console him but unsure their intrusion would be welcome. Realising every eye was now upon him, Thor stood up as well. 'I take my leave,' he said quietly, 'How can I stomach your celebrations after this?'

Thor left. He couldn't remember afterwards where he went or exactly what he did; everything seemed skewed suddenly, and it took him a long time to realise that he had abandoned Loki. Feeling selfish for having forgotten, he headed to his brother's chambers on the assumption that Loki would be there. His guess was correct. He had been terrified he would find Loki a wreck, but Loki was not crying. It was even worse. He was simply sitting on the edge of the bed, dry-eyed and broken.

'I have no friends besides you,' was all he said.

Kneeling in front of him, Thor took both his hands, but could think of nothing to say by way of reassurance, especially when he couldn't even console himself. They spent the night together in sleepless despondency before being summoned to the king's presence. A rift was in the process of opening – a small one, hurriedly constructed, it would only be open for a few seconds at most.

'Your father has worked through the night to open a portal,' Frigga told Thor in a hushed voice. 'You have little time to bid farewell to your friends. If there is anything that you need – '

'I need nothing, Mother,' Thor assured her, 'I go only to pay my respects to my fallen friends.'

'Thor,' Odin called, 'You have little time. Bid farewell to your mother and Loki.'

'All-Father.' Loki's voice was fragile as he called attention to himself. 'May I go also?'

Frigga impulsively clutched at Loki's hand as if to keep him from going anywhere. Odin looked at him but didn't answer; behind him, the portal grew in brightness and volume. Thor, after his initial surprise and doubt, realised the last thing he wanted right now was to part from his brother.

'Midgard is a dangerous place,' Odin finally concluded, 'I have not brought you home only to send you away again. Loki would be better off staying here where he can be properly guarded during your absence.'

'Then grant him his magic back,' Thor exclaimed, albeit tiredly. He didn't have the heart for a quarrel. 'If only for a few hours.'

'And if his poor judgment overcomes him and he slips your watch?'

'Loki will not run away from me.'

'Please, All-Father,' Loki echoed.

Thor felt a sudden upsurge of anger at hearing his brother plead, and raised his voice:

'You would deny Loki the chance to pay his respects to those who saved his life? Besides, I would prefer him to be at my side, and I'm sure he would prefer to be at mine.'

The All-Father sighed.

'Loki, come here.'

Each step closer to Odin seemed to physically hurt Loki; by the time he had reached the All-Father's chair, his head was bowed. He flinched when Odin touched his arm – only a brief touch, but unbearable. 'I grant you your immortality. However, if you over-step yourself – if you attempt enchantment or trickery – you will find the magic eludes you.'

Loki hadn't realised he had been holding his breath; he let it out in a rush, but did not lift his gaze from the floor. Odin looked tired.

'Go now,' he said simply. 'And return together.'

After hugging Frigga for a final time, Thor and Loki stood side by side and waited. In the last second before the portal swallowed them, Loki raised his head to look Odin in the eye; the All-Father returned his gaze, and then Asgard disappeared in a swirl of colour.

It was raining in Manhattan. Hard. They were instantly soaked, their hair plastered flat to their heads as they blinked in the dim, flashing light of street-lamps and car-headlights. They were in a back-alley somewhere near the foot of Stark Tower, its smooth metal-and-glass contours looming over them in the darkness..

'I would banish these clouds,' said Thor quietly, 'But it seems...' he trailed off. Loki didn't reply, but drew closer to his side. On foot and unseen, they approached the main entrance of Stark Tower. 'Jarvis, let us in, please.'

'**Certainly, Mister Odinson. Welcome back**.'

Dripping and miserable, they entered. The familiar lobby was deserted, but they could hear the faint sounds of conversation from the ground-floor dining area. Reaching the door, Thor stopped with his hand hovering over the button. Through a narrow strip of glass, he could see Natasha Romanoff sitting, speaking to someone he could not see – leaning forwards, mouth moving. At her side sat Clint Barton. One of his hands was bandaged.

'Do you want to go in?' Thor asked Loki quietly. Loki was shivering, and nodded wordlessly. Thor pressed the button to open the door, and they stepped through. 'My friends – ' he began, but stopped short at the sight of the other people in the room.

'What the hell?' Tony Stark exclaimed, 'You guys didn't so much as send a postcard and now you drop by unannounced? Y'know you just missed Cap by, like, fifteen minutes...'

Beside Tony, Bruce had put down his book and reading-glasses with a surprised smile. Thor looked back at his brother. Loki's face was slack, his eyes unreadable. It seemed he was wavering on the verge of speaking, of expressing his relief and joy, but then he closed his mouth.

'My...my friends. We thought you dead!'

'Nice to see you too.' Natasha had risen to greet the brothers with a pat on the arm each. 'You were misinformed, clearly.'

'So you are not...in trouble? You have not been called to action?'

'Oh, yeah, it's been all go since you left,' said Banner dryly, 'Clint jammed his finger playing indoor basketball, and Steve's been trying his hand at vegetable carving.'

'If you can call it that,' Tony muttered, then offered, 'Drink? You guys look like you need it. Feel free to drip all over the carpet, by the way...'

'A drink would be welcome.' Thor suddenly broke into a grin, briefly pulled Black Widow into an impulsive one-armed hug despite her surprise, and laughed: 'You do not understand! We came here ready to mourn.'

'I can promise you, mourning's not necessary. One blended whiskey coming right up. How about you, Rudolph?'

Loki had not yet spoken. As the others watched in silent confusion, Loki pulled out the T-shirt. For a moment it looked as if he was going to fling it at Tony's face, but then he held it out instead, offering it to the mortal.

'This was a parting gift. Now that we're together, I don't need it any more.'

'I'm not gonna wear it,' Tony replied. 'Keep it, Rudolph.'

His pale face flushing, Loki stuffed the T-shirt out of sight again and turned away.

'I'd like to dry off,' he said. 'May I go?'

'Sure. Your room hasn't moved anywhere.'

'Thank you.' Loki walked away without a backwards glance, heading towards the nearest elevator. Thor's grin faded and – after a final glance at his friends – he followed his brother. As they rode the elevator up several dozen floors, he spoke in a gentle tone.

'Are you alright, Loki?'

'I don't know.'

Thor placed his hand on Loki's back and absent-mindedly rubbed it up and down in a comforting motion.

'I did not think Heimdall a liar,' he said, 'I suppose there's a first time for everything.'

'It was cruel to be lied to,' Loki answered with a kind of defiance. 'Will the All-Father punish him when he finds out? He _must_ find out eventually.'

Thor hesitated.

'I think he will. But after Heimdall's long millennia of loyalty, perhaps not too harshly. My only fear is that he will think _you_ have orchestrated this. But at least we are away from Asgard now, and back with our friends.' Thor's hand was left touching nothing as Loki turned abruptly to face him.

'We're not going home again?'

'Only if you want to go back,' said Thor with complete seriousness. 'Would you prefer to stay on Earth?'

'Yes. Yes, I would.'

'Then I will have it no other way.'

In the safety of their suite, Loki relaxed somewhat, but still offered little conversation. He wordlessly undressed and towelled off while Thor stood in the middle of the room, absorbing their unchanged surroundings. It took some effort to persuade Loki to come back downstairs and share a drink with the others; by the time they got there, Steve Rogers had arrived, fresh from a bar and slightly out of breath, having clearly received word of the Asgardians' return.

'How come you guys came back?' he asked as the seven of them seated themselves around the dining table. 'Trouble in Asgard?'

'No. Well, yes.' Thor looked at Loki for permission to go on, and receiving a nod, continued, 'Almost as soon as we got there, my people made it clear that Loki was not welcome. There have been two attempts on Loki's life. He survived both only by sheer luck. I do not trust anybody on Asgard...not even my own father. My mother loves Loki and wishes to protect him, but the king is impossible to persuade...'

'What do you need us to do?' asked Bruce immediately, 'Hide Loki or just protect him?'

'A place to stay is all I'll ask of you. Loki needs shelter, and Asgard has none to offer.'

'So nothing's changed,' said Natasha, 'We're back to square one, except this time we're not waiting for a magic portal to bring Loki home.'

'Well.' Tony waved his arms to indicate the entirety of Stark Tower, his drink sloshing dangerously in its glass. 'You can stay under this roof for as long as there's a roof to stay under. And if Big Daddy's got a problem with that, well...I'm not gonna say we won't be screwed, but at least we'll put up a helluva fight. Nobody's taking Loki anywhere he doesn't wanna be. Right, Loki?'

Heads turned towards Loki, but he was staring at the tabletop. After a few seconds, they realised that the dampness under his eyes wasn't a trick of the light. Like a switch being flicked, the atmosphere in the room was suddenly one of extreme awkwardness. When Thor reached out to nudge his arm, Loki twitched away and his shoulders heaved in what was unmistakeably a suppressed sob.

'Thank you,' was his only reply. 'Thank you.'


	47. Chapter 47

**A/N: Thank you to reviewers Nuala Gale, EvilConcubine, Ynath Esrith, I'mAGeekNotANerd, THORKISUPPORT, LilaC LioN, ClintBarton-Loki'sButtWarmer, booknerdhere, jaquelinelittle, articwolfgirl347, Dazja, Mikkeneko, angrbodagiantess, KhaleesiOfMischief, ArainaHaldthin, Kurtgleelove, ShadowAbsol13, Enchanter, Insane Elvish Vampire Pirate And The Demented Hobbit Ninja, kakashidiot and mistyfoxmaid (aww!), my Fav'ers and Followers and everyone else who's read.**

**This is the last chapter. I know it's a rubbish anti-climax, and I fully intended for it to go on a while longer, but lately **_**Reaching You**_** has been extremely difficult to write. I was also going to start a new series around now, but to be honest with you, I kind of quit it before starting :/**

**Big thank you to all of you. You've given me squishy feels for almost 50 chapters, which is the longest fic I've managed to write so far.**

**Please enjoy.**

There was silence at the table. Loki's tears were mercifully brief; regaining his composure, he wiped his face awkwardly and gave Thor an apologetic half-smile. His fingers sought Thor's hand under the tabletop.

'I'm sorry.'

'Don't apologise, brother.' Thor looked around at the others, taking in their expressions. 'Loki and I owe you much.'

'Yeah, well,' Hawkeye cleared his throat, 'What kind of people would we be if we didn't give a shit?'

In ones or twos, the occupants of Stark Tower went to bed. Lying in the dark with Loki close beside him, listening to his brother's soft breathing, Thor realised he was waiting. Waiting for the skies to open, for the All-Father to come and tear this peace away._ How long_, he wondered, _until Father unearths Heimdall's deception? Until Loki's happiness is denied him once again?_

'Brother?' he said aloud before he could stop himself, disturbing Loki's sleep.

'Hm?' Loki made a half-awake sound in his throat.

'I swear by every power, I will keep you safe and well.'

'I know,' Loki responded without opening his eyes. Shifting to a more comfortable position, he draped an arm over Thor's torso. Thor started to speak again, but Loki quietened him with, 'Sleep.'

Thor obliged. He woke in the morning to find Loki already up and about, showering to wash away the residual scent of Asgard. The thunderer continued to lie there, stifling a yawn and blinking in the sunshine from the windows. His fears seemed less concrete in the light of day, listening to J.A.R.V.I.S.'s reports that Mister Stark was cooking breakfast, and knowing that he and Loki were no longer alone.

'Brother, come here,' he heard Loki calling from the bathroom. Quickly jerking up from his doze, Thor dressed himself with a flare of magic and crackle of electricity, opened the bathroom door and stopped, aghast and bewildered.

'Loki, what are you doing?'

'I'm doing things right.' Loki was sitting with a towel wrapped around his shoulders and a pair of scissors in one hand. He held them out to Thor. 'I can't see round the back of my head. I don't trust anyone else with a blade near my neck.' Loki gathered the ends of his hair into one fistful and, with his other hand, indicated where he wanted Thor to cut. 'Please try to make it even.'

'But you prefer it the way it is. You always have.'

'Do you want me to be recognised the moment I set foot near a window?'

Lacking a rejoinder, Thor did what was asked of him. With each careful snip, a sheaf of dark hair was strewn on the floor. When the flat side of the cold metal accidentally brushed against Loki's little finger, the trickster shifted, tensing slightly. Thor paused to rub Loki's shoulder until he relaxed, then continued, cutting in a straight line across the nape of Loki's neck, concentrating hard. The end result wasn't perfect, but it was neater than before. Standing up, Loki briskly shook out the towel, brushed himself off and dried his hair.

'Nobody knows I'm here. And I'm not going to let anybody find out. Of course it'll happen sooner or later, but later is better. I've been thinking, if I were to go outside, I could not go with you, because you would be instantly recognised and, by extension, I too. So it would be better if I were accompanied by Doctor Banner or Captain Rogers, or if I went alone. Don't you think? I would be careful of course...'

Loki's spirits had visibly lifted, and the last thing Thor wanted was to bring them down again with words of caution; so he just smiled and showed his brother how to use a blow-dryer. Half an hour later, Loki was standing in the middle of the suite's lounge surrounded by various rejected items of Midgardian clothing borrowed from Stark, Banner and Rogers, wearing an innocuous T-shirt, jeans and socks, trying on a baseball cap to half-hide his hair.

'What do you think? Am I a convincing human?'

Thor looked him up and down, but as always, found it difficult to see anything but _Loki_.

'...You look well.'

'That's not what I asked.'

'It is true. There is colour in your skin and life in your eyes.'

Loki was quiet; finally he said, in a more sombre tone than before:

'I've never quite understood why they've been friends to me. Why they helped me after Thanos, why they sheltered me from you when you were angry, why they rescued me from S.H.I.E.L.D., why they offered to defend me from Odin. I _still_ don't understand it. But it's good – having friends, I mean. I've never known such people before.'

'Neither have I.'

A week passed, and then other, before Loki finally set foot outside Stark Tower. Despite his previous show of optimism and confidence, it had taken him a long time to pluck up the courage to venture outside, even with Banner at his side. The relief of passing unrecognised in the street was not quite enough to overcome the sheer nerve-wracking tension of being out in public. The fruits of their venture were two shopping bags full of assorted groceries – purchased by Bruce while Loki hovered nervously out of sight between the aisles – and it was enough to give everybody a sense of accomplishment and pride. They'd made progress, of sorts.

After a mish-mash dinner of pizzas and curries, Natasha and Clint left together, while Bruce headed for his usual laboratory haunt. Loki briefly excused himself, ostensibly to find a book to read, but once he was out of the others' earshot he wandered closer to the floor-to-ceiling windows. Sitting cross-legged on the floor, he watched the sky over the city darken to a deep blue.

'Heimdall?' he murmured out loud to the darkness, 'I hope your eye is turned to me.' He paused, gathering the words together in his head. 'I suspect you've maintained your lie, and told my parents that things on Midgard will not be soon resolved, and Thor and I cannot be expected to return any time soon. I thank you for your help.' He paused. 'Home is where I am loved. Home is with Thor. If the All-Father wants to come down here and lambast me, he can feel free to do so, but nothing but my own free will incite me to return to Asgard. Tell him that, will you? When he sniffs you out, I mean. No hurry.' Uncrossing his legs, he started to rise, then hesitated and added, 'Give my love to my mother, will you? I'll think of her every moment until I see her again.'

Heading downstairs, he found his brother, Stark and Captain Rogers exactly as he had left them, talking and smiling. Thor looked as if the weight which had been resting on his shoulders for the last half-year had lifted.

'...Anyway, Loki,' Tony Stark's voice drew Loki back to reality. 'Personally I was going to opt for the giant McMansion off the Orange County coast, but according to Steve that'd draw too much attention. So instead, there's this sweet little two-bedroom bachelor pad over in Maui, and I have a few million sitting around ready to shell out for it. How does that sound? You like volcanoes? You'll be indebted to me for life, of course, seeing as how neither of you earn a single cent and would probably starve within the week without me, but I figure you guys could use your own place...Just for weekends, you know, when you want some alone-time...'

'It sounds pleasing.' Like a peek of a warm light through a wintry fog, Loki offered a smile.

**The End**

**One more thing: I'm thinking about opening the door to prompts. If there's something you want me to write (**_**within reason**_**), drop me a PM or review. If I get any, I might compile them into a single series if possible.**

**~ SneakWriter (and my awesome bestie/beta Bomber) **


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